Protecting Elderly Parent's From Becoming Prisoners Of The State.

So many of us are now taking care of or are struggling with placing our aging parents in assisted living. Just the day to day worrying over what it best for your parent is draining. But the choices are not the only problem facing you both. My mother, at 86, was suddenly made a ward of the state. Without my consent, she is facing the loss of all her possessions and her home. How this fiercely independent woman got here is a mystery to me.

It began for me, with a phone call from a Deputy of the Solano County Courts, She informed me that my mother had been in hospital with heart failure and suffering from dementia. I immediately became uneasy because of the circumstances surrounding this sudden change. I had just checked not too long before, with a friend, and was told she was doing fine, and had just dropped in the day before with magazines and chatted a bit. The Deputy, a Ms. Fuller, explained my mother had called the police and told them my husband and I had attacked her, beating her badly. When it became apparent nothing had occurred, she was hospitalized.

Since we live 45 miles away, and I am casted with a badly broken leg and ankle, and my husband is very ill with cancer, I explained I could not get down there for the preliminary hearing that week. Her final disposition will be February 22nd. Concerned over where my mother is, and what would happen to her personal items, along with the very few things left of my father, who I lost at age 13, I called their office to ask about it.

Here is what happens to the elderly, who in effect become prisoners of the State of California. I was told all her items would be sold-period. She in effect has no choices in what will happen. Those who know my mother upon seeing her home, recognize the beauty and value of her paintings and objects d'art, of crystal, marble and jade. I asked the woman about my father's photograph's and personal items, held in two chests. She told me I could "possibly" buy them, as the state must be compensated for all their time and trouble. Novel idea, I might be able to buy my own dead father's pictures and property from this impoverished state.

I'm not allowed to know where Mama is because it might disrupt her, nor call her. I asked if her home was a shambles when the state picked her up, and was told "no, in fact it was very clean" Strange for someone suffering from dementia! Because of this, I must, in the midst of trying to make certain my husband is taken care of, hire an attorney to protect my mother's rights. As abusive as she was to me, she is still my mother and deserves to be treated better than a piece of meat.

Worried and suspicious that someone may have already helped themselves to items in her home, I asked if I could meet with a deputy and a police officer to do an inventory of her items, to see if anything is missing. I was told that it isn't relevant. If someone has stolen from her, it's not their problem, if it happened just prior to her being taken. In other words I have no legal way to try and discover what might have happened to create these circumstances.

If you have a loved one facing similar issues, and they have property, you can forestall this. First, obtain an agreement from your parent's if you can, to have all assets transferred into your name. This will protect their property from seizure. If they are separated by distance, emotional or physical, you have an ethical and moral obligation to protect their rights. If you notice or are notified that they are slipping into dementia, you yourself petition the courts to become their conservator. This will afford them protections from state agencies only interested in lining their pockets.

Obtain an attorney's counsel on these issues before it ever becomes necessary. In this way you will spare the one's who loved you enough to give you life and a home, from such indignities.