Kearns Postscript: A fine fortnight for turning left...

It's over.

And even though there were times when I thought I was going to get writer's cramp writing over a dozen columns in the space of two weeks, I'm sad to see the Olympics, for all their warts, and there were a lot of 'em along with the good stuff, done and over with.

Now this column returns to a bit more normalcy, with just weekly dispatches from now until late March, when a speedskating season to remember closes up shop.

It was the Olympics of Wit(ty) and Much Above Par(ra). Of barriers broken, of SwiftSuits, of marathon skaters making smashing debuts (Gretha Smit), where the sport's New York Yankees (the Netherlands) met the sport's Arizona Diamondbacks (us), and were held to a draw in the speedskating medal count.

A two-week period where the first Cuban and Hispanic-Americans won winter Olympic medals.

A Games of last chances, which turned golden for a man who quit the sport and sold cars for a couple of years before he was coaxed back into the game for one last shot at what had eluded him for so long.

And for the fifth consecutive Games, only one sport produced double medallists for the home team.

And they were Apolo's Olympics -- not.

Like all good journalists, we too will have a post-mortem on quite an Olympic competition that saw the shattering of eight world records and countless more national and personal records.

So presenting our own E-Sports Olympic Speedskating Medal Ceremony -- ten categories which sum up the good, bad and coyote ugly in not only speedskating but also short track, too.

MVS (Most Valuable Speedskater)

Three candidates shined here.

Derek Parra got the Games off to a rip-roaring start with his silver on the 5,000 and was absolutely unconscious in his demolishing of the 1,500m world record on his way to the gold.

Jochem Uytdehaage of the Netherlands was not considered by some in his own skating-mad country as a possible contender for any medal, let alone two gold. But he picked up the mantle of Gianni Romme, Falko Zandstra, and Ard Schenk in the long orange line of great Dutch distance skaters, and shattered both of Romme's world records, and the first human to go under 13 minutes in the 10,000.

Sabine Volker of Germany matched Uytdehaage with three speedskating medals, the most by an individual.

But in the end, a fourth choice, Claudia Pechstein gets my vote. She had to deal with waves of hype toward a teammate whose next Olympic gold would be her first, and who was predicted to win perhaps as many as four gold medals.

On both the 3,000 and the 5,000 meters, Pechstein skated in a spot where she NEEDED to break the world record to win -- and transformed herself into Bonnie Blair and did just that.

She turned 30 last Friday, so maybe she'll squeeze one more Olympics out before she calls it a career.

Her countrywoman Gunda Niemann-Stirnemann may be (and is) the greatest women's all-around skater of all, but when it comes to Olympic Games, Pechstein stands alone among her sport's best.

LVS (Least Valuable Speedskater)

Bob de Jong of the Netherlands. When this kid burst onto the scene in Nagano, many Dutch counted on greater than great success for him. A lot can change in four years.

In his two races where he is at his most comfortable, the 5,000 and the 10,000 meters, these were his results: third from last out of 32 skaters on the former, and next to last out of 16 on the latter.

Yep, Anni Friesinger went one for four on her races, but de Jong had a better 1998 Games to build on than Anni.

Rookie of the Games

Gretha Smit. Took up speedskating just a few months ago, in the middle of the Dutch marathon season, where races of 50 kilometers and higher are the norm. A spectacular nuking of the women's 5,000m world record in the very first pair of the race bodes well for the future.

And she has a sister who is making noises about switching to traditional speedskating. We could be looking at a family affair on the medal stand in Italy in less than 1400 days.

Race of the Games

The single speedskating race which defined the fortnight. Both of Pechstein's longest distance races come immediately to mind.

Chris Witty winning her first career gold medal and setting a world record despite 29 days earlier being diagnosed with mono also springs forth.

Ohno's two short track individual races can be considered, but the damage they caused short track in the long run negate them both.

Gerard van Velde's gold and world record on the men's 1000 in his last Olympic race after finishing fourth on the 500 several days earlier for the Netherlands is a contender.

Parra's 1,500 gold....there were no shortage of them. That's what you have when skating replaces scandal, which there was blessed zero of at the Utah Olympic Oval.

But, I'm a sucker for minute-busting barrier races.

Uytdehaage's 10,000 was just such a race. Not only that it was the first time any man had gone under 13 minutes in such a race, but that it was Uytdehaage, and not Romme, the man whom everybody thought would do the deed.

Speedskating Surprise of the Games

Jens Boden. The German skater was 22nd in the world cup combined 5,000/10,000m points standings, 171 points in arrears to Uytdehaage and 190 behind more heralded countryman Frank Dittrich when he toed the line in the first speedskating event of the games. He finished no higher than 12th in any 5,000m race this season. Less than six and a half minutes later, he was on the podium, with a bronze medal.

Hindsight is 20/20, and the right call

Casey Fitzrandolph. He made a gutsy gamble to leave the national team in 1999 to train in Calgary with two of the world's best sprinters, Mike Ireland and Jeremy Wotherspoon, who happen to have four World Sprints championships between them. The dividends of that decision came to joyful fruition. He won the first gold medal on the men's 500 for America since 1980.

Speedskating Comeback of the Games

Witty. No one, myself included, thought she had a prayer of making the top 10 on any of her three distances. There was considerable second-guessing when Witty forged ahead and skated in the 500, despite calls that she save herself for the other two races. It was obviously the right strategy; after her 14th place finish (which was still the best U.S. showing on the women's 500m), she finished first and fifth on the 1000 and 1500.

MVB (Most Valuable Boss)

How about Marc Norman, the icemeister of the UOO, who under his care, the state-of-the-art facility (even if it does look like a warehouse), now holds 9 of the 10 existing individual race world records speedskating has. He and his staff are to be congratulated for producing some of the most stirring moments of the Salt Lake fortnight.

Disappointment of the Games

Wotherspoon. Three-time defending world sprint champion, he suffers a bad break by falling moments into his 500, and finishing 13th on the 1,000. Sometimes you're the windshield -- and sometimes you're the bug. But he will get stronger from this and will be a major threat in Turin.

Happy Trails

Catriona Lemay Doan and Susan Auch (Canada, fourth and fifth [and final] Olympics); Rintje Ritsma (Netherlands, his fourth and outta there); Emese Hunyady (Austria, her sixth Games). Gunda Niemann-Stirnemann, whose final Olympics turned out to be Nagano, since she was on the sidelines due to the upcoming birth of her first child. You will all be missed.

Shame on Youse

The celebrities and the U.S. news media that treated Apolo Ohno like royalty at the expense of the deepest national speedskating team we've had in memory. Dishonorable mention to Eric Heiden for stiffing the Opening Ceremony when he balked at being one of the final torchrunners instead of being THE final torch-runner.

Next time, complete coverage of the North American Qualification for the World Speedskating Championships in Ste. Foy, Canada, in Quebec province this coming weekend.

This will determine how many men and women the U.S. and Canada will send to the March 15-17 event in Heerenveen, Netherlands, the final speedskating major event of the season.

Until then...