Ties

1. In a fit of pique against Lycra, leggings, fleeces and jeans Jobcentre Plus managers are telling their staff to stick to a new dress code or risk signing on themselves.

2. Male workers are often told they have to wear a collar and tie in order to present a professional and businesslike manner. The female equivalent would probably be the blouse

3. Ties were originally an extension of shirts or chemises, which were worn underneath outer garments to shield them from sweat and grease. The earliest ties date from the late 16th century, and were generally unstarched pieces of material draped over the collar. Historically, women's neckwear was different to men's, and in the 16th century was made up of a series of starched collars supported by fine wires.

4. But ties are not solely a male preserve. Some women aim for an androgynous, powerful Marlene Dietrich look by wearing a tie.

5. A tie can be a useful indicator not just of a person's taste and fondness for various cartoon characters but of their background and class. One of the most famous ties is that of the Old Etonian. Not easy, or cheap, to come by, though, with fees in excess of £17,000 a year.

6. Another distinctive old school tie is that of Grange Hill. Who can forget Tucker, Alan and Benny haring down school corridors, black and grey striped ties streaming over their shoulders to shouts of "leg it"?

7. They may be part of a uniform but ties can also assert your individuality. For those of you more Garfield than Gucci, dazzle your colleagues with a SpongeBob Square Pants design. Sponge Bob is, for the uninitiated, a sponge who is thoughtful, kind and goofy" and lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Bob. That should impress them at work.

8. Once you've selected a tie that conveys the subtleties of your personality you will need to consider your method of tying it. If you think a Double Windsor is what Babs gets when she looks in the mirror and a four-in-hand is a little-known sexual technique then you need to work on your knots.

9. And if you thought a tie was merely a redundant and ridiculous item, think again. Ties can be seen as symbols of capitalist oppression and the flaunting of superior power. The Department of Work and Pensions may not know it yet but a tie can be a multicultural phallic symbol.

10. You may be feeling by now that a tie is not the accessory for you. Could your aversion signal slacker tendencies? Fear not: the Bart Simpson tie bearing the legend "I will not belch the national anthem" may be just what you're looking for.