Olympics: The tears of a clown

I realize that criticizing Wayne Gretzky is like slapping Queen Elizabeth in the face and will get my NHL gold card revoked.

However, when a whiny tirade is unleashed with a bunch of un-truths, and America is unfairly taken to the woodshed as an offender to Canada's coming undone, Gretzky's a-boot to catch a beatdown.

If Wayne wants to know where his team's undoing is coming from, he might want to start suspecting an inside job. And if this is a ploy to wake up "his favorites" from their slumber, it's something that was better left in-house.

I guess the way to throw some of the attention off of the lackluster effort of a team you put together is to say that the whole world is against you, and their combined prayers are making the team of your construction look quite overrated.

Before the game against Germany, Gretzky told the CBC that he wanted a convincing victory over the seemingly overmatched Germans. That didn't happen, and it assumedly left Wayne in a most perturbed state.

Then after talking, because I don't want to overuse the word "whine" or "whiny" or "whining," about there being four or five penalties missed against Germany, and giving the press a comprehensive lesson on the word "hooligan," a question came to Gretzky about Canada's head coach Pat Quinn and his relationship with his players.

Wayne answered the misconception of that relationship in two words, "American propaganda." He wasn't asked who, but he jumped on the American press for the rumored musings of what's going on in the Canadian locker room right now.

I'm a huge opponent of rumors. Hate reporting on them, and hate reading about them. However, as tacky as the American press can be at times, Wayne might want to start reading papers all around the world, because it's not just the Americans reporting on the "Titanic" that is the Canadian hockey team right now.

And just to cover up a track, there are many angles being dealt with by all of the different press organizations of the world.

Two truly ridiculous things that were uttered was that Americans were enjoying his team's slow start, and were hoping for them to lose. Well duh, genius! Americans just want Americans to win. Czechs just want Czechs to win. And like you said, Canadians just want Canadians to win. That's just the way it is.

Then, he addressed the hit put on Theo Fleury by Germany's Roman Hamrlik late in the game, which he felt was a cross-check that warranted a penalty and suspension.

Whether the hit was right or wrong is another issue, but the fact that he was mad at the press for not asking him about the hit, and assuming that if it was a Canadian player laying the hit then he would be bombarded by questions, is ludicrous. Utterly, ridiculous.

The New York Islanders and New York Rangers play soon, and Gretzky referred to that because Hamrlik is a member of the Islanders, while Fleury and Eric Lindros are members of the Rangers, and The Great One laid down the framework in saying, "Paybacks a you-know-what, and I wouldn't want to be in that game."

The most amazing thing about that incident is that none of the players, during or after the game, thought anything about the hit. To them it was part of the high-energy goings-on on the ice.

Talking about paybacks, Gretzky won't be the architect of Team Canada much longer and will take over his post as the co-architect in Phoenix -- that sunny place located in evil America. I wonder if there will be any boos waiting for him by the red, white and blue on his return.

Might take away from the lack of the weight of gold that should've been hanging around his neck.