Becoming A Real Man

A new two year degree is being offered at LIFE UNIVERSITY, BECOMING A REAL MAN. That’s right, in just six quarters, you too can be a real man.

The program outline:

FIRST YEAR Fall Schedule

MEN 101 Combating Stupidity

MEN 102 You Too Can Do Housework

MEN 103 PMS- Learn When To Keep Your Mouth Shut

MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings For Christmas

Winter Schedule:

MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques

MEN 111 Understanding The Female Response To Getting In At 4AM

MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn’t End With Conception

MEN 113 Get A Life, Learn To Cook

Spring Schedule:

MEN 120 How NOT To Act Like An Asshole When You’re Wrong

MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence

MEN 122 YOU, The Weaker Sex

MEN 123 Reasons To Give Flowers

SECOND YEAR Fall Schedule:

SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep Without It

SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It’s Awake, Take A Shower

MEN 201 How To Stay Awake After Sex

MEN 202 How To Put The Toilet Seat Down

Winter Schedule:

MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency

MEN 211 How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children

MEN 212 You Too, Can Be A Designated Driver

MEN 213 Honest - You Don’t Look Like Tom Cruise - Especially Naked

Spring Schedule:

MEN 220 Omitting @#%~&*! From Your Vocabulary

MEN 221 Fluffing The Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary

MEN 222 Real Men Ask For Directions

MEN 223 Thirty Minutes Of Begging Is Not Considered Foreplay