Time to talk some college hoops

Welcome, one and all, to my 2002-03 college basketball preview. I'm so excited about the season already (the Heels are back!), I'm unable to put it into words. Thankfully, my alter ego, college hoops guru Vic Ditale, has no such problem, and here's what he has to say about what promises to be yet another great season of college basketball.

Oh yeah baby! It's my favorite time of year! I get to sit back and watch all these great coaches coach great kids on great teams! The next four months are all compliments and kissing up with a capital K! So here they are, my predictions for the 2002-03 college basketball season:

National Champions

Vicky D is predicting the Arizona Wildcats to be cutting down the nets in April. Lute Olsen's the greatest coach ever baby! He's got the deepest team he's ever had, and I'm going to brown-nose him all over national television this year cause I'm a grown man with no dignity baby!

And don't forget about Luke Walton. He's the captain of Vicky D's "All-My Dad's a Notoriously Goofy Pothead Team." He can pass, he can score, he can play D, and thanks to his Dad he can probably pack a great bowl baby! Luke's a P.T. P'er with a bunch of capital Ps!

Speaking of packing bowls, Damon Stoudamire's second-coming, a.k.a. Jason Gardner, teams with Walton to give the Cats the best 1-2 punch in all the land, right Mr. Musberger?

All-Brendan Fraser Team

This year's honor goes to the Kansas Jayhawks. Year in, year out, the great Roy Williams gets the most out of his kids for four months. But the season's five months long baby! Coach Roy's kids are the essence of Brendan Fraser: when I'm done watching them I feel like they owe me something baby!

Player of the Year

My Player of the Year has to be Walton. He's got so many tools I'd let him sleep with my wife baby! He's the kid on the short bus: he's so special baby! Walton's the best player on the best team with the best coach in the best conference! Everything's the best, Brad Nessler!

All-David Caruso Team

The Maryland Terrapins are the essence of David Caruso: one year of great success and then they'll drop off the face of the earth. The Terps lost Juan Dixon, Lonny Baxter and Chris Wilcox baby! About the only thing that's going to continue for the Terps is my constant sucking up with a capital S!

Brian Dennehy Coach of the Year Award

Dennehy performed so well in "A Season on the Brink," I'm expanding my brown-nosing into Hollywood baby and re-naming my Coach of the Year Award after Mr. Dennehy! To further honor this walking-heart-attack of a man, I'm changing the criteria baby! Now Vicky D's award goes to the coach who's most likely to have a coronary on the sidelines! And nobody fits this criteria better than Cincinnati's Bobby Huggins, who's done such a wonderful job sneaking felons into his program that another heart attack for Mr. Huggins is about as sure a thing as me kissing up to everyone baby!

So there they are baby! Just a few of Vicky D's predictions for what is to come over the next several months! But be sure to check back, because the only thing I love more than kissing up is changing my opinions at the drop of a hat baby!