Makin' an NBA wish list

By Danny Sternfield Sports Central Columnist

It seems like everyone always wants something for Christmas. NBA teams are no different -- they probably wait for Santa just like you and me. Here's a list of what NBA teams want (and need) for the holidays.

And if you're looking for that official Red Ryder Carbon Action 200 shot range model air rifle, forget it. You'll shoot your eye out!

Atlanta: A front-row ticket for the playoffs for 'Reef. Once again, that's the only way he's going.

Boston: A few more Vin Bakers.

Chicago: Eddy Curry not to turn into Stanley Roberts.

Cleveland: Somebody to pull an L.T. and order hookers for the other team so they can finally win on the road.

Dallas: To be mysteriously transplanted to the Eastern Conference so that they reach the finals.

Denver: A shot of reality. 'Melo may be all that, but you've been drinking way too much eggnog if you think they're making the playoffs.

Detroit: A shot of tequila. Taking Darko Milicic with the second pick is decision that would drive anyone to drink.

Golden State: Some Prozac for Nick Van Exel to keep him happy.

Houston: For Rudy T. to get his due. A players' coach and a true warrior, his words still ring true today. "Don't ever underestimate the heart of a champion."

Indiana: Not much. Isiah who?

L.A. Clippers: A healthy Elton Brand.

L.A. Lakers: For them to keep playing well so the Kobe Bryant situation stays in the background.

Memphis: A muzzle for Bonzi Wells.

Miami: Talent.

Milwaukee: Some love and national respect for Michael Redd.

Minnesota: To get some chemistry, to gel, whatever you want to call it. The point here is that a team with this much talent should be playing better.

New Jersey: A .500 record. If not that, then a one way ticket for Byron "I Can Get a Team to the Finals, But Can't Win it" Scott.

New Orleans: Some serious MVP consideration for Baron Davis.

New York: A miracle. In other words, they need a lot more than Antonio McDyess.

Orlando: A win. Any win. For the love of God, Santa, get them a win!

Philadelphia: For the Atlantic division to remain as pathetic as it is now (not one team over .500).

Phoenix: An identity.

Portland: Team homing devices that come with matching ankle bracelets.

Sacramento: A championship.

San Antonio: To clone Tim Duncan.

Seattle: For Ronald "Flip" Murray not to sober up and stay in the zone.

Toronto: For Jalen Rose to get traded. Again.

Utah: A Coach of the Year award for Jerry Sloan if he keeps this team above water.

Washington: To keep Michael Jordan as far as away from the franchise as possible.

As for me, I wouldn't mind doing something in Paris for the holidays. Hilton, that is. Merry Christmas!

Article courtesy of Sports Central.