The year ahead
Simon Jeffery gazes into his crystal ball to find out what the web is predicting for 2003.
1. Few could have guessed in late 2001 what 2002 would bring: the Queen "coming through" for a former butler, news that John Major was Edwina Currie's former lover or that Les Dennis and Amanda Holden's marriage really was on the rocks.
2. So it is that time of year again when we turn our thoughts towards the next one. Not just the weather and tide times but the more exciting stuff.
3. A quick look at an astrological site giving general predictions for the first month of the year reveals that a) "war-like things and policies" will allow many to make money; b) hand shakes and hugs make the grounds for "wrong, violent and gainful things"; and c) "propaganda may become rather rampant and sort of bizarre".
4. All in all it makes being an astrologer look rather easy, a little like reading the papers. News reached us this week that emergency services will stage an exercise to test London's ability to cope with a chemical or biological attack early next year (ahead of a widely anticipated war in Iraq).
5. Wackier still - or perhaps not - there are some who believe George Bush may show hitherto unseen socialist leanings and nationalise the US airline industry to save it from imminent collapse.
6. An Irish psychic, Una Power, sees Bruce Springsteen leading a political revolt against Dubya which, if he agrees to run as a political candidate, he will win.
7. Weighty matters such as these - and others, such as will Blair come a cropper over the euro referendum - can be made a little lighter with a sweepstake. You could even win some money to make 2003 a year of riches.
8. You may get a few hints of what's in store for your year ahead from one of the many horoscopes around at the moment. Though if it is riches you want you should really broaden your research out a little, possibly reading up on investment opportunities. The world economy should pick up in the autumn.
9. On a celebrity bent, Jennifer Lopez will marry Ben Affleck, Halle Berry will become the new Julia Roberts and Pamela Anderson Lee will die in a car crash - if you believe everything you read. Let's hope Pam wasn't reading that last one.
10. Of course, one prediction likely to never come true is the predicted end to predictions. Little else could hope to fill the gap between Christmas and New Year.
2. So it is that time of year again when we turn our thoughts towards the next one. Not just the weather and tide times but the more exciting stuff.
3. A quick look at an astrological site giving general predictions for the first month of the year reveals that a) "war-like things and policies" will allow many to make money; b) hand shakes and hugs make the grounds for "wrong, violent and gainful things"; and c) "propaganda may become rather rampant and sort of bizarre".
4. All in all it makes being an astrologer look rather easy, a little like reading the papers. News reached us this week that emergency services will stage an exercise to test London's ability to cope with a chemical or biological attack early next year (ahead of a widely anticipated war in Iraq).
5. Wackier still - or perhaps not - there are some who believe George Bush may show hitherto unseen socialist leanings and nationalise the US airline industry to save it from imminent collapse.
6. An Irish psychic, Una Power, sees Bruce Springsteen leading a political revolt against Dubya which, if he agrees to run as a political candidate, he will win.
7. Weighty matters such as these - and others, such as will Blair come a cropper over the euro referendum - can be made a little lighter with a sweepstake. You could even win some money to make 2003 a year of riches.
8. You may get a few hints of what's in store for your year ahead from one of the many horoscopes around at the moment. Though if it is riches you want you should really broaden your research out a little, possibly reading up on investment opportunities. The world economy should pick up in the autumn.
9. On a celebrity bent, Jennifer Lopez will marry Ben Affleck, Halle Berry will become the new Julia Roberts and Pamela Anderson Lee will die in a car crash - if you believe everything you read. Let's hope Pam wasn't reading that last one.
10. Of course, one prediction likely to never come true is the predicted end to predictions. Little else could hope to fill the gap between Christmas and New Year.
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