"Christmas Fruitcake Sucks!" Gag Giftbag

Gag Gift Items Needed:

1 Large giftbag imprinted with the words "Merry Christmas!"
(You can either buy one with these words already imprinted on the giftbag or you can write the words onto a plain red or green giftbag yourself.)
1 Fruitcake
1 Barfbag
1 Bottle of Pepto-Bismal
1 Set of boxing gloves
1 First-aid kit

This is a Christmas gift that should only be given to the recipient face-to-face.

(A Handwritten Christmas Card with the words below should be place inside the gag giftbag.)

BELOW ARE SOME SPECIAL INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE GIFT-GIVER AND THE RECIPIENT OF THIS GIFT:

-The gift-giver should present the gift to the recipient and then take at least 4 steps back.

-The surprised and disgusted recipient of the Christmas gift from hell, i.e. The Fruitcake, should then immediately take out the enclosed Barfbag and immediately hurl into it.
WARNING: At no time should the recipient eat ANY of the Fruitcake! This will only make you hurl even more!

-Once the recipient is finished hurling, they should drink one or two capfuls of the Pepto-Bismal to settle their stomach.

-Once the recipient is feeling better, they should remove the boxing gloves from the giftbag and put them on securely.

-Next, the recipient should open up a can of whoop-ass on the gift-giver for giving the recipient such a lame-ass gift.

-Lastly, the recipient should take the first-aid kit out of the giftbag and proceed to dress the gift-giver's wounds.

At the end of the Handwritten Christmas Card you should print in bold letters "Merry Christmas! Fruitcake Sucks!"

(This gag giftbag is for entertainment purposes only! Nothing in it should be taken seriously or used physically.)

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