Modern Music: A Composer’s Journal Entries December 13 & 14, 2004

Classical musician Laurie Conrad is a pianist and composer living in Ithaca, NY. Some of her honors include: Who’s Who in American Music, The International Who’s Who in Music (Cambridge), The International Encyclopedia of Women Composers, The Dictionary of International Biography and Marquis’ Who’s Who in America. Two cds of her music are now available: "Early Songs" and "Visions" for flute and harp. (See www.figarobooks.com)
Monday, December 13
2 a.m.

Woke up to Carolyn & little Ian today. Because of the Christmas presents lined up in the living room, we went into town & Christmas shopped on the Commons. Ian blew kisses through the car window as they drove off, & then a little hand waving ...

An e-mail from Bob. He has finished printing Mt. III. His subject line said: "Finished Mt. III (thud)". Poor Bob. I have known Bob since college. One thing that has remained steady through the years, besides our friendship, is his sense of humor. I looked at his printed version of Mt. II tonight - not many corrections or changes, thankfully. My present plan is to correct Mts II & III & then go back to Mt I. I wrote the piece so quickly, almost everything is new to me, as though someone else wrote it. (Perhaps someone else did, hopefully an angel ... or Mozart.) As I rework it, I begin to remember the themes & various lines & choices I made & why - but the initial reading is always a mystery. The ideas come in so quickly, they go onto the page before I can even register them consciously - or better stated, before they make an imprint on my daily, normal consciousness ... So when I first hear the piece in normal, waking state consciousness - I am really like any other listener hearing the piece for the first time.

Tuesday, December 14
1 p.m.

Woke up feverish & sick today. Finished the corrections to Mt. II last night. I am still not sure of one note in measure 324 of Mt. I. That page was up on the music rack when I first went to the piano today, left there from last night - & I still cannot decide if it should be an e flat or a g - maybe it’s the fever, my fixation with that one poor note. (Well its Destiny is in my hands, or rather pen.) Karel (Husa) used to say in lessons that the particular notes one chose didn’t really matter. Which is true, from a certain point of view - Mozart could have put that little phrase ascending instead of descending. The music is larger than the individual notes & choices of the composer. And yet, from another point of view, the individual notes do very much matter. Balance, it is always a matter of balance. If the composer focuses too intently on each note, the larger ideas get lost. And yet, to best express those larger ideas, the composer must pay careful attention to the craft of writing & every sound.

Iraq is in about the same state as Mt. I of the quintet. Today there are more pages scattered on the piano rack, more measures written on stray fragments of paper, taped to Bob’s printed score. Mt. III should arrive today - I checked the back porch, it’s not there yet. M. won’t be home until 8 p.m., which leaves many hours for composing.
Figarobooks
Cds of Conrad's "Visions for Harp & Flute" & "Early Songs" are available on this site.
   By Laurie Conrad
Published: 12/16/2004
 
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