Nerves Unsheathed
A poem reflecting what MS feels like... at times. ©Copyright 2003 Bonita M Quesinberry, R.C. 121003
Nerves unsheathed,
two-by-four slams into my back,
waist, grimace on my face paste;
suddenly legs I lack:
arms reach out, bedpost, door,
moan escapes, I hit the floor—
karate chop, shoulder: O dear Lord!
Satan's wicked kiss upon my flesh:
shoulder dislocate, my spine twist and mesh?
Nerves unsheathed,
he stole away my breath,
groan alone, unable to move, think atone.
Intense spasms squeezing death;
struggle to breathe:
whimper, Dear Lord help me from this gripping sea;
grant strength and legs to me.
Remove Lucifer's deadly kiss:
what did I do, what did I miss?
Nerves unsheathed,
Multiple Sclerosis, not my spine:
electrical feelers, helter-skelter, Devil's peeler.
El didn't say Beelzebub is kind;
and God I do not curse:
grind teeth, stand, grace not reversed;
Praise the Lord, mercy versed.
Then Satan moves a short distance away:
though I continue to pray.
Nerves unsheathed,
time, a year to overcome:
cane, painfully move, speak, my gain.
Clever Lucifer, yet so dumb;
today, spasms come and go:
rejoice, I praise the Lord, don't you know.
Satan can't catch me in his undertow.
Yet, he comes back with evil talk:
still, without cane, I walk!
* * *
This happened to me in January 2002: those metaphors exactly what it felt like. Many times over the years, I have tweaked my back doing things women simply weren't designed to do; strained muscles and pinched nerves: but, I never had experienced anything like this. The resulting spasms were so acute that, when they struck, they tightly gripped from my waist to my neck: front and back, rendering me unable to move or even draw a breath, my ribs feeling as though they were about to be crushed.
Albeit, they truly are not spasms. The muscles, ligaments and tendons draw into tight knots; like sudden and severe atrophy: which no medication, no exercise and no position will help to release, not even a Chiropractor. They release when they release.
Especially confusing, until I was x-rayed, was in knowing I had done nothing strenuous: except rise from my bed and start from the room early that morning. Film revealed absolutely no spinal compressions or collapsed disks or even pinched nerves and neither was my shoulder dislocated. In fact, that area of my spine has exceptionally good spacing. Yet, I barely could move muchless walk and virtually had no range of motion in my right shoulder: without intense, mind-bending, blinding pain. And, I thought migraines were bad. Well, I really rather would endure anything than a migraine.
Multiple Sclerosis strips away the protective sheathing covering our nerves. Much like stripping away the insulating cover from a live electrical wire, current suddenly no longer is directed to a specific outlet. Instead, it shoots off in every direction at once, short circuiting everything. It is quite interesting the affect it has on the overall body as various nerves become affected. Usually, the first remarkable thing we MSers notice is an overall numbing sensation that doesn't go away: the worst comes later and gradually— at least if drugs are not introduced. Otherwise, it can come on quite quickly.
God is so awesome. Despite Lucifer's persistent attempts to put me down in like manner since then, as he did the first time, have been painful but milder. Like Job, I passed that test, now Satan simply torments— as he has been the last few days— but God won't allow him to put me down again or for very long with each episode of MS and/or Lupus or the migraines.
I sometimes wonder how anyone deals with disease, disability, relentless physical pain, and even loss of loved ones without having Yeshua. He makes it all much easier to endured without poisonous drugs: note, I didn't say pleasant, for it certainly is not. Hear my laughter! The Father's mercy is how Christ allowed Himself to be hung on the cross and the reason Paul had no fear of death: proceeding right into Jerusalem even though warned against it. I pray my experiences help others to find and revel in our awesome Father/Creator until Jesus returns to end all of Beelzebub's utter nonsense!
two-by-four slams into my back,
waist, grimace on my face paste;
suddenly legs I lack:
arms reach out, bedpost, door,
moan escapes, I hit the floor—
karate chop, shoulder: O dear Lord!
Satan's wicked kiss upon my flesh:
shoulder dislocate, my spine twist and mesh?
Nerves unsheathed,
he stole away my breath,
groan alone, unable to move, think atone.
Intense spasms squeezing death;
struggle to breathe:
whimper, Dear Lord help me from this gripping sea;
grant strength and legs to me.
Remove Lucifer's deadly kiss:
what did I do, what did I miss?
Nerves unsheathed,
Multiple Sclerosis, not my spine:
electrical feelers, helter-skelter, Devil's peeler.
El didn't say Beelzebub is kind;
and God I do not curse:
grind teeth, stand, grace not reversed;
Praise the Lord, mercy versed.
Then Satan moves a short distance away:
though I continue to pray.
Nerves unsheathed,
time, a year to overcome:
cane, painfully move, speak, my gain.
Clever Lucifer, yet so dumb;
today, spasms come and go:
rejoice, I praise the Lord, don't you know.
Satan can't catch me in his undertow.
Yet, he comes back with evil talk:
still, without cane, I walk!
* * *
This happened to me in January 2002: those metaphors exactly what it felt like. Many times over the years, I have tweaked my back doing things women simply weren't designed to do; strained muscles and pinched nerves: but, I never had experienced anything like this. The resulting spasms were so acute that, when they struck, they tightly gripped from my waist to my neck: front and back, rendering me unable to move or even draw a breath, my ribs feeling as though they were about to be crushed.
Albeit, they truly are not spasms. The muscles, ligaments and tendons draw into tight knots; like sudden and severe atrophy: which no medication, no exercise and no position will help to release, not even a Chiropractor. They release when they release.
Especially confusing, until I was x-rayed, was in knowing I had done nothing strenuous: except rise from my bed and start from the room early that morning. Film revealed absolutely no spinal compressions or collapsed disks or even pinched nerves and neither was my shoulder dislocated. In fact, that area of my spine has exceptionally good spacing. Yet, I barely could move muchless walk and virtually had no range of motion in my right shoulder: without intense, mind-bending, blinding pain. And, I thought migraines were bad. Well, I really rather would endure anything than a migraine.
Multiple Sclerosis strips away the protective sheathing covering our nerves. Much like stripping away the insulating cover from a live electrical wire, current suddenly no longer is directed to a specific outlet. Instead, it shoots off in every direction at once, short circuiting everything. It is quite interesting the affect it has on the overall body as various nerves become affected. Usually, the first remarkable thing we MSers notice is an overall numbing sensation that doesn't go away: the worst comes later and gradually— at least if drugs are not introduced. Otherwise, it can come on quite quickly.
God is so awesome. Despite Lucifer's persistent attempts to put me down in like manner since then, as he did the first time, have been painful but milder. Like Job, I passed that test, now Satan simply torments— as he has been the last few days— but God won't allow him to put me down again or for very long with each episode of MS and/or Lupus or the migraines.
I sometimes wonder how anyone deals with disease, disability, relentless physical pain, and even loss of loved ones without having Yeshua. He makes it all much easier to endured without poisonous drugs: note, I didn't say pleasant, for it certainly is not. Hear my laughter! The Father's mercy is how Christ allowed Himself to be hung on the cross and the reason Paul had no fear of death: proceeding right into Jerusalem even though warned against it. I pray my experiences help others to find and revel in our awesome Father/Creator until Jesus returns to end all of Beelzebub's utter nonsense!
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Learn about MS, read great writings by some of its victims
Learn about MS, read great writings by some of its victims
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