On Writing an Artist's Statement

I've been trying to write an artist's statement for quite sometime now; I haven't managed it yet. Artspeak is totally beyond me and I don't seem to have any intensely appropriate philosophy regarding art either - especially my own art. I analyzed my mind the other day and have come to the conclusion that whatever philosophy I do possess amounts to the same as that of Nike's - Just Do It. Unfortunately gallery owners and art connoisseurs would like to hear something distinctly more original and in-depth. I suspect they would prefer to hear something sensational like 'I paint because I'm angst-ridden and anti-social, with a peculiar view of the world, and the white surface of the canvas maddens, distracts, obsesses me to such an extent that I find myself moved by a powerful, hidden force to splatter it with paint' to the more prosaic truth of 'I paint because the materials were there and I thought, well, let's give old Van Gogh a run for his talent'. Of course that's not the whole prosaic truth either, there is some deep inner urge to want to create in the first place, but I haven't been able to pin it down exactly. I guess I'm just not intellectual or insightful enough - or maybe I have a deep hidden reason for not wanting to be. I'm dazzled by people who have no problem with it. I have a hard time understanding - and sometimes believing - their personal manifestoes, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate acrobatic brilliance when I see it. I'm impressed people can have such intense and complex emotions while they're working on something and moreover have the nerve to express them. I couldn't even if I could. It's all my mother's fault. She told me earlier in life to not wash the dirty linen in public and its stuck with me throughout. But even if that wasn't the case I would have to be artistically inspired by the dirty linen in the first place and so far it's been kept under wraps and I haven't had the slightest inclination to convert these into an Installation display.

Anyway, so I recently decided to seek assistance from some online articles on 'How to write an effective and insightful artistic statement'. One writer suggested collecting the viewpoints of friends and acquaintances - what do they feel/think when they look at your art? So I dragged one over and set him before one of my paintings for about twenty minutes. Okay, I said then, tell me exactly what you think. He tried his best to give him his due. Uh, he said, I think that's a representation of a human figure in color, on, uh, canvas? That's obvious, I said, tell me what you think about what's not obvious. That, he said, is too subtle for me. For both of us, I guess.

Another friend decided to be really insightful. A-hah, she said, all that red color you have used, that really says something about your personality! Everything I do, I informed her, says something about my personality, and I don't want to hear about it - I want to hear about this painting. Well, she said, it's a red representation of a human figure, isn't it? Okay, I said, trying to be patient, but what does it make you feel? Annoyed, she said, it makes me feel annoyed, I looked at your painting like you wanted, why do I have to answer all these questions when it's obvious you think I'm too much of an idiot to answer them anyway? Listen, I said, let's not get personal here, I'm just trying to get your opinion on my painting. Why should I have one, she said still miffed, you painted it and you don't have one!

Ouch!

I decided to leave friends alone and rope in the family. That wasn't such an enlightening experience either. What's there to say, said my mother, you're a genius, anyone can see that at a glance!

You can do anything you want, said my father, anything at all! Yes, I said, but what about my painting? Oh, he said, well, you know I'm a layman here, what do I know? What do you feel, I urged. Well, he said as usual, I feel that your mother is right.

So I decided to do it alone. I sat down and turned on the music and tried really hard to plumb mental depths hitherto unplumbed. Then it came to me - not from the mysterious deep, but from the shallow surface - the real and best reason for practicing art. It was the song that was playing that lit the bulb - 'I get a kick out of you'.

Yep, that's my manifesto.