Rocket Science

Government Rocket Science
US Laws
Performing a U-turn within 1000 feet of an intersection is illegal.
Horses may not be kept in bathtubs. (From my own state)
A permit must be obtained to fire a missile. (Sorry Sadaam)
It is illegal to beat your wife except on Sunday. (Charleston SC)
A person must be 18 to play a pinball machine. (How old was Tommy?)

International
No dolls may be burned that resemble prominent persons. Mexico (That voodoo that you do!)
A man may be arrested for wearing a skirt. Italy (No Scotsmen allowed!)
Anyone found breaking an egg on the sharp end will be put in stocks for 24 hours. England

Rocket Science on warning labels
Christmas lights: Warning! For indoor or outdoor use only. (Duh!)
Bic lighter: Ignite lighter away from face. (Sensible)
Energizer batteries: If swallowed promptly see doctor.
On a mattress: Warning! Do not attempt to swallow. (!)

O.K. Now do you get the idea? Here are a few jokes about our favorite Rocket Scientists: the Blonde.
Blonde Rocket Science

Why did the blonde climb the glass wall? To see over the other side.
Why was the blonde starring at the orange juice container? It said concentrate. (This is my favorite)
How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday? Tell her a joke on Monday.
Why does a blonde only change her baby’s diaper once a month? Because the label says, Good for up to 20 pounds.

With apologies to my friend Susan.

Rocket Science in the neighborhood
"I recently saw a young lady weeping by her car. ‘Do you need some help?’ I asked. She replied, ‘ I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote door locker.’
I took the key from her hand and manually opened the door. ‘Now you can drive to get
new batteries.’ "

Rocket Science in the News
Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in September, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, by a stick of dynamite that blew up in their car. While driving around at 2 a.m., the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but they failed to notice that the window was closed.

Finally, some dumb stuff about our poster boy Bill.

Clinton Rocket Science
Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrinch, and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car together when a tornado comes along and blows them to the Land of Oz. They decide to see the Wizard.
Dan says, "I’m going to ask him for a brain."
Newt says, "I’m going to ask the wizard for a heart."
Bill says, "Where’s Dorothy?"

Send me your Rocket Science!
charbookguy@yahoo.com