LeBron Fever!

I was there. I saw the "first regular season game LeBron James played on a Saturday night."

On November 1, 2003, I was at a National Basketball Association Game between the Portland Trailblazers and LeBron James' Cleveland Cavaliers, at the Rose Garden Arena, Portland, Oregon. I experienced LeBron Fever firsthand.

I will tell my grandchildren about this game. In 20 years, at least 500,000 other Portlanders will claim they were there, but only a few of us will have the ticket to prove it.

Fortunately for you, I kept a diary of the evening's events.

6:20 p.m.: In newspaper ads, the Blazers marketed this game as "LeBron James versus Bonzi Wells." Not exactly a marquee matchup, but "Michael Jordan versus J.R. Rider" was not an option.

6:37 p.m.: I just took my temperature, and I am LeBron Fever-free. Grade school cheerleaders run onto the court to pump up the crowd. That's right: grade school cheerleaders.

6:43 p.m.: A teenager walks by wearing a LeBron James jersey. He has LeBron Fever! I must stay away. Cleveland's new uniforms are an improvement, although the team mascot and the color scheme remain difficult to describe.

6:52 p.m.: Both teams run onto the floor for warmups. LeBron James looks like just another basketball player. A member of the "Blazers Stunt Team" waves a flag bearing the team's new second-string logo, which consists of a black basketball with red and silver wings. Or are they flames? If Portland added some blue to that logo, it would be virtually indistinguishable from the logos recently adopted by the Dallas Mavericks and the Minnesota Timberwolves.

6:56 p.m.: The P.A. announcer mentions the availability of LeBron James jerseys at the arena souvenir store. References to souvenirs for Portland and other NBA teams are noticeably absent. LeBron Fever now controls the NBA's marketing strategy.

7:02 p.m.: Someone sampled Steppenwolf's "Magic Carpet Ride" and turned it into a hip-hop song. I know this because the song is blaring on the P.A. system. My ears bleed. Sadly, it is only a matter of time before classic songs of the last two decades meet a similar fate. Perhaps ear pain is an early sign of LeBron Fever.

7:10 p.m.: LeBron James is introduced, and he receives rousing ovation. The Rose Garden crowd has its first brief exposure to LeBron Fever. With all due respect to Larry Johnson, LeBron James will become the new "L.J.," a nickname that deserves to come out of retirement.

7:13 p.m.: Because this is Portland's first home game, the Blazers have put together a Very Special Introduction. I watch a video montage of various Portlanders, both famous and unknown, who declare, "We are Trailblazers." It sounds like some of these people are speaking other languages, but maybe that has to do with the extremely loud volume. Then the Trailblazers are introduced. The crowd greets Rasheed Wallace with an emphatic cascade of boos and cheers, followed by a tepid round of boos and cheers for Damon Stoudamire. Even in a state that issues "Medical Marijuana" licenses to people with chronic illnesses, fans cannot forgive those who get busted for marijuana possession by: 1) trying to carry tinfoil-wrapped marijuana through an airport metal detector (Stoudamire), and 2) lighting up while driving your Hummer from Seattle to Portland after a basketball game (Stoudamire and Wallace).

7:17 p.m.: The game begins. Finally.

7:18 p.m.: L.J. dribbles at the top of the key, leaps as if shooting a jumper, and feeds forward Carlos Boozer for a dunk. Cleveland 2, Portland 0. L.J. has one assist. Impressive play, although many in the crowd have performed similar moves in video games.

7:20 p.m.: Only three Blazer starters are wearing headbands: Wallace, Zach Randolph, and Wells. Fascinating. Does this mean Stoudamire and Dale Davis are not part of their team's "In" crowd?

7:27 p.m.: After Cleveland's Ricky Davis scores on an uncontested drive to the hoop, Portland calls timeout. Something called "Blaze, the Trailcat" hands out candy in the stands. Watch out, kids! That candy is laced with LeBron Fever!

7:28 p.m.: Wallace drains a three-pointer, reminding Portland fans for the millionth time that he is not a power forward and that keeping Jermaine O'Neal and/or Brian Grant would have been a good idea. Then L.J. scores on an easy layup. Portland is barely playing defense, thanks to LeBron Fever.

7:30 p.m.: Stoudamire, who is ten inches shorter than L.J., scores on him. Stoudamire is doing a pretty good Muggsy Bogues impression so far, earning him the nickname, "The LeBron Stopper."

7:35 p.m.: Ruben "The Kobe Stopper" Patterson enters the game for Portland.

7:38 p.m.: With Ricky Davis, L.J., and Darius Miles, Cleveland has three players capable of high-flying antics. Unfortunately, their high-flying antics often involve throwing the ball out of bounds.

7:41 p.m.: The first quarter ends with the score knotted at 23. L.J. still has two points and one assist. LeBron Fever is fading fast. Surprisingly, Carlos Boozer has eight points and three rebounds. "Boozer Fever" starts to spread, delighting the alcoholics in the building.

7:43 p.m.: Patterson guards L.J. for a few plays, raising the possibility that the Blazers have two "LeBron Stoppers."

7:44 p.m.: Cleveland calls timeout after Blazer Qyntel Woods hits a three-pointer. Patterson waves his arms, trying -- but failing -- to pump up the crowd. Sorry Ruben, Portland's fans do not trust you.

7:48 p.m.: With 9:46 left in the second quarter, Jason Kapono enters the game, replacing L.J., who still has two points and one assist. Kapono immediately fouls a nearby Blazer.

7:56 p.m.: This is ugly. Does anyone have a decent backup center? Portland features Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje and Vladimir Stepania. Cleveland has Desagana Diop, Michael Stewart, and Chris Mihm. Note to NBA general managers: if someone offers you any combination of the above five players in a trade, reject the deal.

7:57 p.m.: LeBron Fever Alert! L.J. replaces J.R. Bremer in the lineup and moves from point guard to shooting guard. Portland is ahead 36-30, and 6:51 remains in the first half.

8:02 p.m.: L.J. picks up his second assist, feeding center Zydrunas Ilgauskas for a bucket.

8:04 p.m.: Ilgauskas, whose post dominance leads me to christen him "Unstoppable Z," commits his third foul. Portland has its own "Unstoppable Z," forward Zach "Z-Bo" Randolph. He is a monster in the paint, and he belongs on your fantasy basketball team.

8:08 p.m.: Boozer would also be a good choice for someone's fantasy team, but right now he belongs on the bench after charging his way to foul number three. Jelani McCoy replaces him. The secret to beating Cleveland is to make their bench play significant minutes. The starting five is young and talented. However, a bench with Bremer, Diop, Stewart, Kapono, McCoy, Mihm, and Kevin Ollie scares no one.

8:12 p.m.: LeBron Fever is virtually nonexistent. After a Cleveland turnover, the guy behind me declares, "Damon shut down LeBron." With less than three minutes to go in the half, L.J. has two points and two assists.

8:14 p.m.: Although L.J. is nowhere near a triple double, teammate Ricky Davis is almost halfway there, with seven points, six rebounds, and four assists.

8:16 p.m.: Late in the first half, LeBron Fever makes a slight comeback as L.J. picks up his third assist. The child behind me screams, "Boo-yah!" Then McCoy fouls Portland guard Jeff McInnis for the second time in two minutes. On the ensuing possession, McCoy travels. The half mercifully ends with Portland on top 54-39.

8:26 p.m.: L.J.'s face is nowhere to be found on the Rose Garden's indoor blimp. How can LeBron Fever spread if the NBA refuses to plaster his face everywhere?

8:36 p.m.: Cleveland starts the second half with a novel zone defense. This zone leads to double teams in the post and on the wing, while Stoudamire stands wide open at the three-point line. This is a bad defensive strategy. LeBron Fever tries to make a comeback, as L.J. drains a 20-foot jumper. But the kid wearing the L.J. jersey remains quiet.

8:39 p.m.: L.J. grabs a rebound, his first of the game. Portland's lead is 59-45 with 9:10 left in the quarter.

8:41 p.m.: "Blaze, the Trailcat" does something mildly amusing during a timeout. Does he do office parties? Wedding receptions?

8:46 p.m.: Perhaps Cleveland's zone is slowing down Portland's inside game, but Stoudamire is still getting open jumpers. Ricky Davis has eleven points, seven boards, and seven assists for the Cavs, who trail by 13 with 5:47 left in the third.

8:48 p.m.: L.J. just got another assist. I missed it completely, but the stat board says he has four assists.

8:50 p.m.: L.J.'s second rebound leads to his fifth assist, a dunk for Unstoppable Z, who now has 16 points.

8:54 p.m.: I feel a sore throat coming on, and the first signs of a fever are present. With 2:24 left in the quarter, L.J. brings the ball upcourt, spins down the lane past everyone, and feeds Unstoppable Z, who dunks and is fouled. I will tell my grandchildren about this play. One play does not make a superstar, but only a select few have the court vision to do what he just did. For one shining moment, LeBron James is Young Magic Johnson.

8:57 p.m.: L.J.'s play has sparked a Cleveland run. At the end of the third quarter, Portland leads 76-67. L.J. has six points, four rebounds, and six assists. Cleveland trails despite a 42-26 scoring advantage in the paint.

9:03 p.m.: Diop commits his fourth foul. Frustrated Cleveland coach Paul Silas picks up a technical foul, allowing Portland to increase its lead to twelve. I guess Silas never read the "A Foul Called on a Backup Center is Never Worth a Technical" section of the NBA coaching manual.

9:08 p.m.: L.J., who is now guarding Qyntel Woods, picks up three fouls in the first 2:39 of the fourth quarter. L.J. should be a college freshman right now, and Woods should be a college sophomore. Nothing like watching as a veteran schools a rookie in the harsh realities of the NBA.

9:09 p.m.: With 8:56 left, L.J. drives down the lane, is fouled, and makes his first two free throws of the night. Do I have LeBron Fever, or a mild cold? I vote for the latter.

9:12 p.m.: Portland is on a 9-2 run. Coach Silas stands, hands folded across his chest, as his team commits an ugly 24-second clock violation.

9:18 p.m.: Duck! It's T-shirt Gun/Slingshot time! I want to catch one, if only to see whether L.J.'s face is on it. Ollie enters the game with 5:55 left, replacing L.J., who finishes with eight points, four rebounds, and six assists. Portland coach Maurice Cheeks acknowledges Cleveland's capitulation by returning Vladimir Stepania to the lineup.

9:22 p.m.: Portland leads by 20. LeBron Fever is dead. Long live Chalupa Fever! Yes, the sad spectacle of fans cheering their team to 100 points and free chalupas for everyone has begun. Can the Blazers score six points in 4:52? I hope so, solely because any other result would mean five minutes of incomprehensibly bad basketball.

9:23 p.m.: With 3:41 left, delirious Portland fans are excited for the first time tonight. Everyone in the arena is chanting, "Chalupa!" in unison. Stepania nails a 19-footer, making the score 100-77. Bedlam ensues. Stepania should order a set of business cards reading, "Vladimir Stepania, Chalupa Hero."

9:28 p.m.: I miss LeBron Fever. Stepania makes an awkward pass to Blazer backup Boumtje-Boumtje, who fumbles the ball but is fouled. That is easily the ugliest pass of the night, far worse than earlier passes Cleveland threw directly out of bounds.

9:30 p.m.: Diop hits a jumper with 17 seconds left. Portland ekes out a 104-85 win.

9:40 p.m.: I exit the Rose Garden, glad that I survived my brush with LeBron Fever. L.J. showed flashes of brilliance tonight, but he seemed tired. Wait a minute. All of a sudden, my mind reels. A strange thought pops into my head... is LeBron James suffering from LeBron Fever?