Part Two Gangs: The Hard Facts

Gangs are a frightening aspect of American society. Drive by shootings are common events in gang held neighborhoods. Narcotics, prostitution, extortion and murder are part of the very fabric of gang culture. Who joins a gang? And more to the point-why? What’s involved in joining a gang? How do parents help our children avoid the pitfalls?

The Crips, Bloods and other gangs have their roots in poverty. Many of these people come from broken homes, live in environments of despair and anger. Lacking a strong sense of self worth and individual identity, the gang becomes their family. The group nurtures and supports them. The group has money, prestige and power, strong attractants to those who have never possessed these things on their own. Many of these kids, lacking parental guidance and motivation, are early school dropouts.

Their neighborhood is usually dominated by one group, wearing colors, using special hand signs, and tagging with unique graffiti. Many joined up out of mere survival. More, because the money was irresistible.

Initiations can run the gamut from beatings to having a member commit a murder, bringing back a specific trophy from the victim as proof. Girls often are put through a gang rape by all members. Even after jumping in, a member still has to prove himself. Acting as spotters, selling narcotics, doing a rival gang member in, or other criminal acts.

What does the member get out of this? A strong feeling of being cared for, of belonging. A sense of privilege and power. As long as a member is active and fully participates, this all seems worth it. Trying to leave however, can and does get members killed. They are no longer loyal or trusted. Harassment, beatings, threats and murder are the usual result of trying to break away from a gang.

How do parents help their children avoid gangs? It starts with a strong sense of identity and self worth. Affirming your child's unique individuality and value. But, above all, communication with them. If you listen to your child, and are sensitive to his school and neighborhood environment, then you know if your child is at risk. Keep your child occupied with healthy and positive activities. Take advantage of Community Centers, sports programs, and volunteer groups. If there isn’t a strong male presence in their lives, sign up with Big Brothers/Big Sisters, and the local Police Athletic League program in your area. If money is tight, ask your child what he would really like to have. Meet him halfway. Let him earn half, and you pick up the rest. If the school has a lot of gang activity, transfer him to a different school. Move if necessary. Nothing is worse then getting a call to come down and identify your dead child. Find a day care or sitter in a different area of town, so your child has some other resource for finding friends. This is what we owe our children. A chance to grow up without dying or going to jail before they are 18. No one said parenting is easy. It’s not, especially in today's world. Telling yourself this won’t happen to us, or pretending the problem doesn’t exist is abrogating our responsibilities as parents, and to society at large.

We need to be strong, caring parental models for our children. Teach your children values, show them you are proactive in helping them avoid the pitfalls in our increasingly complex and dangerous world. By reinforcing strong family values, and a work ethic, we give them the tools necessary to become responsible, productive, caring adults.