General: Sterno's Talkin' Smack -- Episode #76

Sterno's Talkin' Smack. No holding back here. It's all trash, all the time.

Welcome to another stupendous Tuesday edition of the gala. Today we rap about steroids, the BCS, and Alonzo Mourning.

Smack This: Steroids and MLB -- That's right folks. Sterno is here to chime in real quick on this whole steroid issue. First of all, we all know that almost every baseball player has used some kind of crap at some point in his career. Look at the bodies on some of these guys. Come on now, let's not be so naive.

Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa came into this league as leadoff hitters. Now, they are two of the most prolific homerun hitters of all time. Do we really think that the gym is the only reason for their increases in size? No, we aren't that stupid, are we? In all seriousness, if we are going to get on Sammy Sosa for corking his bat, then we need to get on these guys about the steroids. I don't want to hear about the bad pitching being the reason for all of the crazy power numbers. Mark McGwire could squash my entire body with one arm. I'm glad they are cracking down on this stuff. If it gives more 2-1 showdowns on the mound then so be it!

Steroids -- Smacked!!!

Smack This: BCS -- I have already joked many times about all of the different things we can say that "BCS" really stands for. I think it sucks. I want a playoff of some sort or a tournament perhaps. We all know that already. However, since we as college football die-hards are stuck with it, let's rap about what it means in 2003.

USC proved once again this weekend that they belong in the big dance against Oklahoma. In fact, nobody else does. If you weren't sure of that before this past Saturday, Michigan's beating of Ohio State gave you some evidence. If it wasn't for a holding call during an 87 yard pass to Braylon Edwards, Michigan would have won by thirty. The Buckeyes were outplayed by a better team. Point blank, if Lloyd Carr had prepared his team better in their road trip to Oregon earlier this year, the Wolverines would be on their way to the title game. It's that simple!

As for Oklahoma, I watched that game against Texas Tech. The Sooners are an absolute joke. They are so good, that they could hang in a game longer against an NFL team, than any other college team can with them. Have I confused you? Good, because I think I got myself on that one too! Look, the story is that the Sooners are just too good! That's all you need to know.

So, USC and Oklahoma should get their show. Although, that is what we "think" for now. LSU has a stronger schedule the rest of the way, and with a big win over Georgia in the SEC title game, they could somehow get a point or two that USC cannot. Then again, we have to throw in the strength of schedule in the conferences these teams play in and a whole lot more. I guess that's why they brought a computer to the party!

BCS -- Smacked!!!

One for the Road: Alonzo Mourning played his last game in the NBA as a New Jersey Net. We at the show wish "Zo" the best, despite the fact that I am a die hard Knicks fan and he nearly killed Jeff Van Gundy a few years back. In all seriousness, Mourning has a ton of heart and I hope he recovers fully from kidney disease. Isn't it ironic in somehow that Kenyon Martin, that idiot, blasted Mourning's illness just days before that same illness took his career? I thought so!

Hit me up with feedback at eSports (click the Write the Editor link) or on my homepage at http://www.suite101.com/myhome.cfm/theycallmethecloser. Come on and click that link already! You can't possibly agree with everything I say!

See ya' all next time folks! Until then, don't be the one who's smacked!