Happiness of Married Life

Marriage!

Who says what about marriage?

Arabian: "It is better for a woman to marry a man who loves her more than the man she loves."
Czech: "Do not choose your wife at a dance, but in the filed among the harvesters."
Dutch: "To marry once is a duty, twice a folly and thrice is madness."
Danish: "A deaf husband and blind wife is always a happy couple".
French: "Love is the dawn of the marriage and marriage is the sunset of love."
German: "Weeping bride, laughing wife; laughing bride, weeping husband."
Polish: "The woman cries before the wedding, the man afterwards."

It is said, "Marriages are made in heaven." Love, romance, togetherness, partnership, happiness, pride, pain, understanding, mutuality, crises, conflicts, trust, angels, devils and life are indissoluble terms from one word ‘Marriage’. It is very difficult to decide to put marriage as – luck or bad luck. But ultimate suggestion is as said by ‘Marriage is a mistake every man should make."

Every one of us wishes to fall in love with someone and later have it forever. To marry a person whom you love or who loves you is fortune. If love is the quest, marriage is the conquest. Probably after marriage, you need to search for love for what you proudly said ‘Love Marriage’.

Any way, discussion is not regarding whether marriage is good or bad. All we know - we do. Reason may be what ever. Being full of joy, love and friendly should not make other so harsh to create problem in married life. Soren said "If you marry, you will regret it; if you do not marry, you will also regret it." Thus important is to manage it.

"When two people marry, they are combining their problems" said John Jess. Take the opportunity to share problems. Sharing reduces them where as firing doubles them. Even if you are not in mistake, accept it. Enjoy complains of your wife. She will cool down. Complaining is very common. Do not avoid responsibility for problems by blaming someone else. Admit faux pas and own up to part of the problem. Schopenhauer said "To marry is to have your rights and double your duties."

Good wins over bad. Hope for the best – is tantra for happy married life. Desire and belief may not be as practical if life as it should be. Control own emotions which do not play any role. ‘Married life is intended to promote mutual good both here after’ said Gandhi. Why do you need to worry for something bad in partner? No one is so perfect. Promoting good will alive hope for worthy relation in between.

Friendrich says "It is not lack of love but lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriage." Love forgets to see other things, which are real in the world. And that’s why love is not always practical. Friendship is just like a relation of one soul in two bodies. It builds trust and confidence. It is more practical. In other word – it is not blind. Mix up of friendship and love in married life is what needed.

Marriage is a partnership. In every situation, try to fit your foot in your partner’s shoes. Doing this solves maximum problems of your married life. Understanding and mutuality builds successful trust worthy partnership. In married life, there is a company and two is none. Said Oscar Wilde.

Vicki points out "Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the insincerity possible between two human beings."

Understanding is the term. "Pease forgive me!" should be sweetest word in married life. Receiving and giving forgiveness are strong basis of long way run married life. There is a single mantra for any relationship especially for marriage:

TIME + POSITIVE INTERACTION + ENERGY = RELATIONSHIP

McGinley has rightly said "In a successful marriage, there is no such thing as one’s way. There is only the way of both, only the bumpy, dusty, difficult, but always mutual path.

Promise and commitment are the heartbeats of living married life. Follow up your promises. Commitment includes constraint and dedication. J Addison said " Those marriages generally abound most with love and constancy are preceded by long courtship."

In a wonderful book called "Finding the Love of Your Life" Neil Clark Warren calls this friendship companionate love. It's the love that endures. The love that sustains after the passionate love wins. It comes down to continuing to be interested in that other person.

Now keep your hand on your heart and ask yourself "Do we do this?" Our understanding differs from our actions. That causes break in relationship. Until we understand one another, it is like following traditions and saying ‘marriage is so bad!’

Good marriage allows for change and growth in individuals and in the way they express their love. And as Swami Sivananda says "The happiness of married life cannot be described in words." Marriage is civilizer of the world.

Rather thinking much on issues, marry with you match!! If anytime you find break in relationship, try to fall in love with each other again.