Marriage - Talk about it!

What many couples never realize when there marriage is going down the tubes faster than Super Man on a skateboard in a drain pipe is that a simple conversation might actually prove worthwhile. During those first few heady years, or hours before a cleric with a skirt on or an Elvis Presley look-alike made them utter those infamous words "I do", conversations were many and deep. Heady rushes of philosophical meanderings, deep and dark expeditions of the soul and giggly school tales were uninhibitedly sprouted forth. Talking late into the night souls are bared, the world is laid out and sorted right there and then and anything from immigration policies to Fidel Castro are discussed in heated debate whilst hands are held tightly. The sky is the limit!

Then one day as the glossy front page that disguises the rest of their lives is flipped over conversations dwindle. Once often discussed work colleagues are no longer interesting, in fact they are downright boring! Political debate ends up with "what do you know anyway" and souls and thoughts are wrapped up and buried deep in places that the other will never dare look!

It soon reaches the stage were a man and his wife's sole means of communication exist through a series of grunts and nods of the heads, quick eye movements and hand gestures that do not allow for the spoken word. Days and even months can pass in this monosyllabic style, the only time the voice box actually playing a part is when anger and hatred need to be exercised. It is though the action of talking that will possibly drag a failing marriage out of the slimy depths of the swamp that it now resides in. By remaining silent no marriage will see a breath of fresh air flowing in so conversely a simple conversation might actually be a step in the right direction.

Lets sit down and talk about it love!

It is blatantly obvious that, for any conversation to remain on a plateau of decency when held by the participants of a failing marriage, it must not revolve around personalities or be used to blame and hurt each other. Any conversation must be an exchange of views and thoughts on something that neither party is in any way connected to and must be conducted in an open and amicable manner. There must be no rushed statements, no use of off-the-cuff utterances like "get a grip on life" or "utter garbage" and answers must be considered and said with complete deference to the other! In fact this might be a very good time to start issuing out a few white lies, just like the ones first used during those heady romance years or days, they certainly will not do any harm at this stage and might actually build some of the slats of wood of the rickety fence that has all but completely rotted away!

It could be time to tell the wife that she looks pretty, or to tell the husband that his recent excursions into Home Improvements are without doubt superb!

By regaining a foothold on the human side of the mammal species through talking a very positive start has been made. By openly listening to the wife's endless mumbled garbage about her boss that would send any decent person to seek medical help and giving the occasional nod and smile at some equally unfunny and deadly boring tale might put her in a good mood. By listening to the husbands lies and fabrications about how he won the football match and by pretending that it is all extremely interesting might just make him feel a little bit more worthwhile than he felt the day before!

Talking is in fact the major tool that marriage guidance councilor’s use to attempt reconciliation. By promoting verbal exchange instead of animal like grunts with no eye contact a bridge is being built and a foundation is erected upon which understanding can be nailed onto.

It has to be mentioned that due to a variety of human natures the sole use of talking as a means to regaining that marital bliss is not possible. The idea behind talking as the first step is to promote the recognition by both parties that there is in actual fact a human inside of that slob who sits on the couch or that the battle axe who screams like a banshee is after all made of flesh and blood! It can also be mentioned that by managing to talk anything else and all that lies ahead on the rocky road of married life is easy in comparison.