"Straight From A Movie"

The metal clasp on the schoolyard flagpole clanged against the white steel rod in the soft breeze. My flip flops preformed their namesake through the wet grass. The sky was calm, the rain, soft and cleansing. I didn’t know what to say. What exactly do you say to someone who’s heart your broke into a million pieces? Nothing. There’s nothing that you can say. Nothing you can do. Just sit there.

It was the perfect day for this, just like the last time. It was Monday. Ever since we met Monday’s were always our time to spend together, and forget the world. Usually we did nothing, just sat there and watched stupid movies while cuddling on those stupid beanbag chairs, or went out into the garage, where he would teach me how to fight. Not anymore. I ruined it. He would never trust me again. And there he was, as I rounded the corner of the school, to the playground. Just as I had left him, for what felt like so long ago. Taller, a bit less shaven, but still him. Sitting on top of the monkey bars.

"Your late" he said.

"I know, I took the long way on purpose. Your are always are supposed to be late at meetings like these in the movies." I replied.

"We’re not in the movies, and you know that." He said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah well, you would know right?" I replied.

There was a long, dead, uncomfortable silence. He stared at me as I sat down on the wet cement, and took out a cigarette.

"Still didn’t quit, huh?" he asked.

"Nope."

"You know it hurt right? You know that you were my best friend in the whole world, the best friend that I EVER had. You know that it hurt me so bad to see the only person I ever trusted stab me in the back like you did, right?"

I just nodded. I knew he was right and I was wrong. And as much as the truth hurt, I damn well was not going to reply to anything. I made up my mind at that very moment that in order to gain any sense forgiveness, I was not going to defend my self. So there I sat, in the soft, gentle rain. Smoking a cigarette. I took a long drag. Held it for a second and exhaled, a weak, "I missed you". .

"I never imagined that I could be hurt by anyone as much as you hurt me. You killed me, twice." It was almost as if his words brought on the rain. Kenny Wayne Shepard’s "My Last Good-bye" echoed though my head as the rain poured down. It was heavier than before. Like something straight from a movie. It was beautiful. I stood up, tossed my cigarette, and he opened his arms. "This is wonderful. I just got home form my cross country trip, and I was in the desert for a while. It never rained there."

I looked at him, arms spread open, face up towards the rain. He stayed like that for a while. Not saying anything. Just taking in the warm, heavy rain. When the rain died down, he looked at me for a second, his brown eyes sparkled, and he stepped towards me. He looked as if he was about to hug me. Make it all go away. It was like nothing ever happened. We were at the playground, he was doing flips on the monkey bars, it started raining, he jumped down, looked up at the rain, and then went to give me a hug. Just like he always did. And then it hit.

"This is the first time you ever shut up and not defend your self. Here I am barraging you with character insults, and you haven’t even flinched. Not even moved a muscle." He said, snapping her back into reality.

"Have you checked your Email?" I replied.

"No, my computer blew and I had to use my brother’s to talk to you last night."

"The explanation to everything is in there."

"Yeah well, how do you know I even WANT to forgive you? How do you know that this isn’t a sick form of entertainment, used to my advantage because I had nothing better to do?"

"I don’t."

"Maybe you should think about it," he said, as he turned away from me, "But that’s the problem. You don’t think. If you had thought about how you would feel a month after you decided to leave me to my own devices, then you wouldn’t be here, begging me to forgive you. Would you?"

"I guess not," I replied.

"Think about it the next time you decide to break some one’s heart." He said as he walked away. I watched him walk to the car, with every footstep moving further and further out of my life.