Pain Filled Life

Never will I be the same
Not after all this pain
I have scars up and down my wrist
But the cutting still persist
I try to end my pain filled life
But it’s so hard with the knife
I push it down so the blade sinks in
Then I slide so it cuts the skin
No matter how hard I try
I can’t seem to fucking die
I can’t take this anymore
The pains so hard to ignore
I grab a rope and make it loose
So my head can fit through the noose
I grab the knot and make it tight
Hopefully I can die tonight
I kick and gag for some air
Then I stop as I’m hanging there
I think it worked I see the light
I hope this is my final night
Then I decided it can’t end this way
So I cut the rope so I can stay
Now when I sit and cry
I don’t wish that I may die
Only that I can ignore the pain
Knowing nothing can be the same
So instead of leaving without a fight
I will live another night
I think ill put the knife away
Hoping the pain wont forever stay
I want to tell you how much I care
But your leaving me it’s just not fair
I love you more and more each day
I hate the day you go away
I don’t know what I will do
Or if I can live without you
Never will I say goodbye
Not until the day I die
And in that day I hope your there
So I can tell you how much I care
My heart will never get a rest
Cause ill love you even after death
Ill sit in heaven and wait for you
That’s how I know my love is true
I hope someday it will be
I wake up and it’s you I see
To wake up to you by my side
Is a feeling I could never describe
I doubt my dreams will come true
But I will always love you
It’s the day I die
That ill say goodbye
When I lose you ill take out the knife
And wait for you in my after life