Sadly Canadian

I like to consider myself a true Canadian.

To me, hockey is still the best sport on Earth, our beer definitely tastes better and the cold weather encourages certain "closeness" among our female citizenry.

However, there is at least one aspect of the sports' world, I'm sad to admit, that Americans have a decided and definite advantage.

I'm starting to figure out that Canadians don't know jack about football.

Eh?

Case in point was the fiasco that occurred last Monday during the critical CFL Eastern Division match up between the Toronto Argonauts and the Hamilton Tiger Cats.

Toronto punter Noel Prefontaine's 40-yard single in overtime capped a bizarre afternoon and earned the Argonauts a crucial 29-28 victory over the Tiger Cats on Thanksgiving Day. (See, we even have our holidays at different times!)

Argos head coach Mike "Pinball" Clemons instructed Prefontaine to punt the ball out of the end zone on Toronto's first possession of overtime for a 40-yard single that gave the Argonauts the win in front of 20,216 fans at Hamilton's Ivor Wynne Stadium.

"You can be as technical and analytical as you want about it, but the bottom line is that we have to score one more point than they do," Clemons joked earlier in the week in what proved to be a prophetic statement.

Toronto backup quarterback Jim Ballard guided the Argos 15 yards to the 20 to set up the winning single. Prefontaine jogged on to the field with his tee to attempt a field goal, but Clemons opted for the punt.

"We were concerned with the pressure they were getting up the middle on our field goal team so we decided to punt it," explained Clemons, who watched with crossed fingers as Prefontaine's kick barely made it out of the end zone.

This mind boggling and inane play is referred to in Canadian parlance as a "rouge." Rouge means red in French and has absolutely nothing to do with the outcome of the play. How typically Canadian.

Let me clarify further.

A rouge (also called a single) is awarded to a kicking or punting team (Team A) if an opposing player (Team B):

(a) catches or recovers a punt or a missed field goal in his own end zone, but is prevented by Team A from returning the ball back out onto the field of play, or

(b) elects to drop to one knee while still in the end zone before having returned the ball to the field of play, or

(c) elects to run with the ball from the end zone out of bounds rather than enter the field of play, or

(d) sends a ball, which is either kicked during a field goal or punting attempt, out of bounds from inside the end-zone either in the air or along the ground.

Thus, kicking and punting plays into an opponent's end zone are considered to be of much higher strategic value than in American football. The ball remains live until one of the above events is concluded, as well as if the Team B player successfully returns the ball out of his end zone onto the field of play.

On a field goal attempt, the defending team may return a missed field goal to the kicking team's end zone for three points.

On a convert attempt after a touchdown, the defending team may return a missed kick convert to the kicking team's end zone for one point, or if the convert was a rush or pass play may return a fumble or interception for two points.

So far, is all of this as clear as mud?

There are several other distinctively oddball Canadian rules in effect.

It's pretty obvious we play on a larger field. It's wider and the end zone is over twice as deep, which is supposed to put a premium on passing. The league would like you to believe that this forces defensive players, particularly in the linebacking corps, to be more agile and quick footed than their NFL counterparts.

Please. I think I'd take Ray Lewis over any CFL defensive player any day, at any time and in any weather condition. Oh yeah, with one arm tied behind his back.

And, no, the refs aren't missing the too many players on the field call. The CFL plays with 12 players on each side, and unlike the NFL, all the receivers and running backs can be in constant motion at the same time before the snap of the ball. This can make for some interesting TV commentary as players cross paths and generally swarm around like an upset hive of hornets.

The CFL allows for three downs to make 10 yards or score versus four downs in the NFL. Nothing like an excess of punting to add excitement to any game!

Up until a few years ago, in a nine-team league, there were two teams called Rough Riders. Except the other one was the Roughriders. Make sense?

The CFL also thinks it's pretty clever by focusing on using bigger balls as an advertising campaign. I'm not sure what demographic that was intended to attract or amuse, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to find out!

We do get the cooler trophy however. Let's be honest, who even cares that the Super Bowl trophy is named for Vince Lombardi or the fact that it's not even a bowl? A big football on top of a pedestal looks a little silly next to the Grey Cup. And just for the record, it's Grey because of the person who donated it and not due to its colour.

But, before my fellow Canucks line up to throw multitudes of snowballs at me for my purported sacrilege let me say this.

I like the Canadian Football League. I find it fun to watch and actually try to attend a couple games in person every year.

That is until September when the NFL season kicks off.