Catastrophic Calamity Curtailed, Cat-sitter Concedes Catnapping

Don’t you just love headlines, but seriously, we just overcame a serious cat calamity. Three cats missing and four kittens without a mother.

First of all let me describe the cat situation here on our farm. When I was a kid there were three common pest on most farms, mice, flies and cats. There were at least forty cats running around here at one time. Suffice it to say cats were, at best a useless commodity. Cat food was whatever they could find plus the dinner scraps which they, of course had first shot at. The three dogs, having never watched that first episode of Sylvester and Tweety, didn’t realize the pecking order should have been dogs, then cats. They had never seen the cartoon because they of course, were not allowed in the house.

Marriage changes lots of things and the cats around here were mighty happy to see my wife. Their status, along with that of the dogs, moved up a great deal. She even had the nerve to think I would allow pets in the house which, I am proud to say, I put my foot down against firmly. I nearly stepped on a dog, three kittens, and a cat while putting my foot down and was informed not to do that again. We eventually came to what I think is a fair agreement, Grace can keep all the pets in the house she wants and I can learn to live with it.

The situation began with a momma cat giving birth to three kittens in the tool shed. She then decided it was time for a vacation and left. Four screaming kittens orphaned and of course brought into the house. That night, two house cats and two porch kittens also disappeared without a trace.

The next day Grace went out searching for them all and found the porch kittens in fine shape but an older momma cat had been in a cat fight and came out on the wrong end of it. The other house cat, Grace’s favorite, was no where to be found but she did find the runaway mom and locked her in the bathroom with her babies. Three days later while walking to the barn at five o’clock in the morning I tripped over a ragged ball of fuzz which of course was the other house cat. It must have been a rough vacation because when I picked her up she spit, clawed, and bit at me all the way back to the house. Yes I said back into the house where everyone knows a cat belongs.

Catastrophe concluded, case closed. I have learned through many situations similar to this that I can put my foot down anytime I like but I have to watch it because odds are there will be a four legged fur ball somewhere nearby. Anybody who can put up with me as a husband for twenty two years needs a few well mannered beings in the house.