Two Women

"Dan wants another baby," Sharron said, staring ruefully at her son who was at that very moment digging up the last living plant she owned. "Michael! MICHAEL! LEAVE THAT ALONE! Now, where was I?"

"Another baby."

"Oh yes. Well, I told him, how can we afford it? I don't get hardly any sleep now as it is and Michael, well, he's just on the go all the time - I SAID PUT THAT DOWN! - it's hard enough working and taking care of the house and those two too, I mean - MICHAEL!" She paused. "Do you want another coffee?"

Elise nodded yes and lit a cigarette. "So what are you going to do?" she called to her friend in the kitchen.

"I don't know," was the reply.

"Well, you've got lots of time to think about it, you're young. You don't have to have one right now." Sharron placed the mugs on the coffee table, spilling a drop. "Here, I'll get that," Elise offered, but Sharron just waved her away.

"Don't bother," she said, "the table's filthy anyway."

Elise laughed. "Do you remember how finicky you used to be? My God, if I dropped a sock on the floor or left a dirty glass in the sink you'd be all over me! I can't get over what's happened to you."

"Da joose, mummy. Da joose!" Michael whined, pulling his mother's hand.

"Michael happened to me," Sharron stated. "Come on honey, I'll get you some juice. Want a cookie?"

"Cookie!" Came his excited reply. "I guess that's a yes," Elise chuckled. While the two were out in the kitchen, she glanced around the room, noting the stains on the carpet from spilt somethings, toys littering the floor, Disney movie playing on the t.v. A yearning stabbed at her. How she envied her poor frazzled friend. What she wouldn't give to have this mayhem herself. And then she shook that thought off. It's not going to happen, Elise, she told herself, so don't even consider it.

With Michael happily ensconced in front of the t.v., a cookie in one chubby hand, juice in the other, Sharron flopped down on the couch to finish her coffee. She held her mug with both hands wrapped around it as though she needed the warmth. "It's just I get so tired sometimes," she said quietly, "all this takes so much out of me. There are days I think I've disappeared behind all the clutter and noise and responsibility. It's like everyone wants a piece of me and when I've given it to them, there's nothing left anymore. And Dan wants me to give more? Where is he? I mean, he's never here, he never has to give, give, give. He's always on the road and when he isn't, he's watching his goddamn baseball. Or fixing the car. He doesn't have time for me, let alone Michael. And he wants another one?" She took a sip of coffee, then reached for a cigarette. "You don't mind if I steal one do you?" "Have one if you want," Elise said, "but you'll get hooked again if you do." She passed her the lighter, then lit one herself.

"That feels better." Sharron leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "Marriage isn't what I thought it would be."

Michael was dancing to the video, his little body driven by the music. Elise smiled, seeing him so unselfconsciously enjoying life. She wondered then, when does that stop? When do we get so worried about things? And why? "I think you're just tired," she said, "you need to get out and do something on your own. Go see a play or out for a drink with the girls. You haven't had any time to yourself lately."

"I think I made a mistake getting married so young." Elise slammed her mug down. Two plastic batmen on the table jumped in unison. "Sharron, that's enough. Look around you. Take a good look. You know what I see? I see a life. I see love. I see a family. So what if the livingroom's dirty or the laundry's never done? Who cares? At least you have a husband who's there for you, a wonderful son who's full of life and it's so amazing watching him become a person. And to think you're the one who brought him into this world! Look at Andrea. She has a husband who thinks sex is a chore and hasn't slept with her in ten months. She feels he's repulsed by her and is beginning to believe that she is repulsive. Look at Helen. Ever since her husband got himself fixed, as she calls it, he won't leave her alone. The problem is, she wanted children. Now she'll never have them. And Jenny. Her husband buggered off leaving her with two little girls and she can't get a job because she married the idiot before she finished high school. Look at me. I'm thirty, Sharron. I want all this. I want to be tired, and I want to feel needed. I'd even take being ignored if it meant I never had to eat alone. My life is my job, and what kind of a life is that? I hate my job. I hate the cretins I work with. I spend my days on the phone, listening to people complain about the crappy products these cretins produce. Those people don't care if I live or die, they'd just replace me. That's all." "What's gotten into you?" Sharron shot her a quizzical glance.

Elise sighed. She ran her hands through her hair, rubbing her temples. "I think I'm getting headache. Do you have a Tylenol?"

"Sure, in the bathroom. Want some more coffee?"

"Why not?" She replied.

Michael, who until now had been playing with his truck, came over and sat beside Elise. He studied her for a moment, his blue eyes the picture of concern. "Essie sick?" he asked, giving her a hug.

Elise hugged him back, stroking his soft blond hair. "No, sweetie, just a little sad I think." Then she kissed the top of his head.

"Why?"

"We all get a little sad sometimes." "I kiss better." He prescribed, and kissed her. Elise smiled.

"All better now, honey. Thank you. You go help your mommy." And with that she went to the bathroom and took a Tylenol.

When she came back, Michael was in front on the t.v. and two new cups of coffee were steaming on the table. "We're great company today, eh?" Sharron said.

Elise giggled. "No kidding. What a bunch of grumps. No wonder your husband's always travelling and men cringe at sight of me."

"I'd cringe too if I were a man." Sharron said with a laugh.

"I'd send you packing, you dumb blonde."

"Blondes have more fun."

"No they don't. They just get more opportunity to have fun."

"Kiss my - MICHAEL! LEAVE THAT CAT ALONE!"

"Well, okay. What was that you said about Andrea?" Sharron said. "Oh, nothing, I shouldn't have said it. Listen, why don't we go out this week. Go somewhere. Have some fun."

"I'd like that. And you know what? I'm going to find you a husband." Sharron pronounced.

"Oh, now don't go doing that. You know that never works."

"You never know. Couldn't hurt to try."

"Okay, Sharron," Elise turned to her friend, studied her for a moment. "On one condition. I'll go out with whoever you dig up, if you do one thing for me."

"I don't like the sound of this," Sharron said, throwing her hands in front of her face in mock horror.

Elise laughed and grabbed Sharron's hand, holding it. "I want you to write songs again. I need to hear you sing. When we were room mates it was all I could do to stop you from playing guitar until dawn. Now you never play it anymore and there are days I really wish we were in our little apartment, you singing love songs to the cat. Will you do that for me?" Sharron squeezed Elise's hand, then hugged her. "We had some good times back then. I miss them too. You know, I never finished writing that song for Michael; if I have another one, maybe I'll write one for the both of them." She let her go, sat back and contemplated her friend. "You know, my guitar's in the basement. I could just tune it up. Why not?"

Michael, like many two year olds, has an ear for music. That afternoon he sat enraptured as his mother played her guitar, singing soulfully. She played Itsy-Bitsy spider for her son, and for her best friend she sang The Rose, because she remembered the lines that always gave two young women comfort and hope.

"When the night has been too lonely/And the road/Has been too long/And you think that love is only/For the lucky/And the strong/Just remember/In the winter/Far beneath/The bitter snow/Lies the seed/That with the sun's love/In the spring/Becomes/The Rose" Michael lay napping, curled up in an armchair, when Dan finally came home. He was greeted not with the usual scream of "Daddy!" but with the sound of his wife singing, "Cat's In the Cradle". He let himself in quietly, pausing in the hallway, sure she hadn't heard him come in. He'd forgotten how beautifully she could play the guitar, and he listened to her singing the song as though it were the first time he'd ever heard it.

When the song was finished, he walked into the living room to see the two women gazing at each other and smiling, fondly remembering their yesterday together. An orange spear of sunset illuminated the cups on the table. Sharron, seeing him standing there, put down her guitar. "Hi there," she said, "you're home early."

And with that Elise rose and stretched. "Well, I'd better be going, time for dinner." She gave her friend a quick hug. "Call me," she said, "see ya Dan."

"Yah, see ya." He replied.

Sharron walked Elise out to the door, helping her with her fall coat. "Nippy out isn't it?" "Yes. Winter's coming." Elise turned to Sharron, holding open the door. "Don't forget your promise."

"I won't," she grinned, "and don't you forget yours. I'll find you a husband yet, and then you too can have all this," gesturing to the mess in the hall.

"I better!" Elise laughed, and headed down the walk. "I better," she whispered to herself as she started the car, "Oh Lord, I better."