Blind Date

Tammi Lyn…

We met on a blind date on a warm September evening in 2003, and you later said that from the moment you saw me you knew you were going to love me. You didn't know if that meant marriage and children, but you knew you were going to love me. Soon there after you did. I knew it when you cried. You didn't come out and say it but you did tell me that you didn't expect to let someone in that close. I didn't need an explanation; I didn't want to push you. I just held you tight and said," it’s ok."

I had no intention of falling in love, I had never been in love before, there have been those who have been in love with me but I could not let go, and who did you think you were, that you were different, that you could touch something that no one else could, that you could touch my heart. I had never felt love before for anyone other than family or friends. But to surrender my self. I kept that part of myself under lock and key, not even friends or family could touch that part of me. Then you just did something different. You didn't try to make me feel something that I wasn't feeling. You just kept being you. You were Tammi. You appreciated the small things. You enjoyed letting me do what I do.

You took a genuine interest in me. You didn't ask for anything in return. I found myself feeling something for you, it wasn’t unlike what I had felt in the past, but still it was different. I found myself wanting to do for you before myself. I found myself wanting to open the car door for you, wanting to ask how your day was. Wanting to hold you just to hold you. Then came that day when I found you in the last place I thought I would ever find you.....in my heart. I found for the first time, love. I also found what love will do to a grown man. I found that love will change a man. Love will bring a grown man to tears when he thinks about how lucky he is to have found that person who has made him realize what the future can really hold. But in the grand scheme of things men are not the smartest creatures on this green earth, and woman can be just as impatient as any man. I am a man who was afraid of his own shadow. Afraid to fail. When you are afraid to fail you are afraid to try. When you are afraid to try you fail to do. This is where I failed, and this is where I failed you without even trying.