Peter Aveyard: What will they think of next?

Clonaid, a company which says it has successfully cloned two baby girls is backed by the Raelians, who believe aliens landed on Earth 25,000 years ago and started the human race through cloning. They also believe it is their destiny to leave planet Earth and begin a new colony on a far distant planet before our home world is engulfed by marzipan. What a bunch of fruit cakes!

Head of the Raelian movement's Dutch branch Bart Overvliet said on Saturday a second baby had been born to a Dutch lesbian. He added the "The baby is healthy and the mother too," with a bottle of Grolsch in one hand and a splif in the other he went on to say that the babies antennae was functioning correctly and it has already seen the new Start Trek movie.

The founder of the Raelian movement, Claude Vorilhon a French man, who calls himself Rael, was quoted as saying "Mai la force soit avec vous peu une" (May the force be with you little one). So it looks like the French have done it again. Over the centuries they have given us Napoleon the tyrannical French emperor, French Fries a weak and weedy version of the good old British chip and the 2CV a car so crap that it should have been described by What Car magazine as S***. Definitely the crapest thing on four wheels or any number of wheels for that matter.

Hat’s off to the French Only they could manage to come up with something so crap and totally stupid as the Raelian movement and get other nations to buy into it. They are masters are producing S*** and flogging it as cool, sophisticated and exclusive. What will they think of next?