NHL: Random Thoughts from an Unarmed Writer

Larry King, in between marriages, has been writing a column for USA Today for years in which he comes up with journalistic genius like “For my money, the best thing about Neapolitan ice cream is the strawberry part!” Pretty silly stuff. But here I sit, still sluggish from all that holiday cheer, hard pressed to come up with a column idea, suddenly thinking a collection of random thoughts from around the hockey world is the way to go. Please enjoy, and join me in praying for Bobby Clarke to do something else crazy next week so I'll have something to write about.

Speaking of Kings, looks like L.A. finally pulled the trigger on that much-rumored Blake deal. O.K., it was Jason Blake going to the Islanders. Captain and all-star defenseman, Rob Blake is still in Los Angeles, despite being on the trading block since training camp. The soon to be free agent has been rumored to be headed to Toronto, New Jersey, the Rangers, and just about every team but the Manitoba Moose. The Leafs could use a Norris Trophy winner to make Curtis Joseph's job a lot easier before he gets so worn down he starts looking up at Mini-Me. The Devils are supposedly dangling last year's rookie sensation Scott Gomez, who after a stellar turn on General Hospital last summer, would surely welcome a chance to expand his acting horizons in Hollywood. And then there are the Rangers, who are obligated by law to be included every time a trade rumor comes up. At this writing, the Blueshirts are this close to dealing for Alexei Yashin, Keith Tkachuk, Pavel Bure, Valeri Bure, Valerie Bertinelli and that naked guy from 'Survivor.'

From the “Yeah, but can he negotiate a peace treaty in the Middle East?” department, how bout that Mario Lemieux, huh? It's just too bad he's too rusty, though. I mean, he's already played THREE whole games, and he's only eleventh on the team in scoring. Of course, the only thing keeping him from winning the scoring title is how many points he's helping Jaromir Jagr score. He came back just in time too. Jagr was so disconsolate he was thinking of growing his hair long again, and nobody wants to see that.

Then again, it's not all sunshine in Pittsburgh (as if you could ever see the sun with all those steel plants belting out toxic crap.) The always-personable Matthew Barnaby is demanding a trade. He was just suspended for four games after trying to fight a fan, and in his first game back, the Pens sat him on the bench for all 60 minutes. It was so boring and lonely; Barnaby actually agitated himself into a fight. Afterwards, Barnaby said that Barnaby had been asking for it, and Barnaby better watch it if he knew what was good for Barnaby. True story.

How 'bout a round of applause for the Minnesota Wild's recent seven-game unbeaten streak? Coach Jacques Lemaire's defense-first strategy may be a better cure for insomnia than a Kenny G concert, but the results speak for themselves. Of course, that's because they're the only ones awake, but you get my drift. And then you have the Atlanta Thrashers, flirting with the .500 mark in only their second season, led by December's player of the month Don Audette (not a typo.) And THEN you have the Montreal Canadiens, who've been around forever, since hockey pucks were nothing but frozen cow droppings, and they play like … frozen cow droppings. There's a lesson here somewhere. What's French for 'give up and start over' anyway?

Looks like that 20-game suspension for performing tonsillectomy with a hockey stick on Columbus' Steve Heinze hasn't softened Brad May up any. In his first game back for Phoenix, May racked up an instigating minor, a fighting major, and a ten-minute misconduct – all in the first five minutes. Can I recommend anger management classes, Bradley?

Finally, congrats once again to the Czech Republic. Friday morning, the Czechs won their second straight World Junior Hockey Championships, beating Finland 2-1 in the final. The first ever draft pick of the Columbus Blue Jackets, Rostislav Klesla, scored the opening goal for the winners. Rangers' prospect Pavl Brendl led the Czechs, and the tournament, with ten points. Future Oiler Jani Rita of Finland was the leading goal scorer with eight. Canada won the bronze medal by beating Sweden 2-1 in overtime; with the Islanders' first round pick Raffi Torres netting the winner. That's two straight junior championships for the Czech Republic, along with the last two World Championships and of course, the '98 Olympic gold medal. Maybe they should move the Hockey Hall of Fame from Toronto to Prague.