Five slices?

A few brainwaves stirred as I watched the Tampa Bay Buccaneer's defense stymie the vaunted Oakland Raider's offense in Super Bowl XXXVII this past Sunday.

The first thought that struck me was -- what kind of a difference does three tenths of a second make?

The Raiders played the game without their All-Pro center Barret Robbins due to some really mysterious circumstances. It has been reported that he was incoherent and didn't know where he was the night before the game.

According to teammates, he's the eyes of that line, calling out blocking schemes, handing out assignments and checking off with quarterback Rich Gannon on formations, blitzes and all kinds of minutiae that make a lineman truly pivotal.

I don't know if Robbins had played if it would have made a fundamental difference, but how many dropped passes, how many overthrown balls and how many interceptions might have been avoided if Gannon had had an extra half second or so to set and throw properly? I know his teammates are downplaying the effect his absence had on the game, but All-Pro centers don't play for every team.

In his absence Tampa's Warren Sapp, Simeon Rice and Co. were able to run rampant in the Raiders' backfield causing all kinds of havoc.

Robbins remains on a suicide watch in a San Diego area hospital apparently due to increased affects of depression caused by the cessation of his regular medication.

The second thought that struck me was that the old adage, "children should be seen and not heard," needs to be beaten into the heads of some parents like an overwhelmed Raider's offensive lineman. I mean come on... your kid is cute and all, but the blocks I want to see leave a defensive end pancaked on the ground, not a green wooden spheroid flying past my head.

And don't take your kids upstairs and send down five pieces of pizza for nine or 10 grown adults.

Morons.

Other thoughts came more readily.

John Gruden really does look like Chucky!

Bucs running back Michael Pittman was easily the games MVP. I know the defense scored a lot of points, but their Oakland counterparts weren't exactly made up of stiffs. Pittman's 124 yards on 29 carries easily kept the defense from keying on the pass or setting up any exotic blitz packages. He didn't put any points on the board but he was a game breaker and I think the voters unfairly overlooked him.

John Madden has to be confirmed as the absolute Master of Stating the Obvious. (Or is that whole sentence rather self evident?)

I can't believe that the NFL breaks up officiating crews and assigns individual members, who've never had the opportunity to work together, to call the biggest game of the season.

I won't document all the calls but I'm sorry, they were just terrible. They were an embarrassment to the league and luckily, but only thanks to the Bucs' defense, didn't affect the outcome of the game.

They need to be fired faster than an embattled NHL coach.

Raiders' fans are truly a weird looking bunch!

I have to admit I'm not the world's biggest Keyshawn Johnson fan, but on Sunday he put his money where his mouth is. They got him "the damn ball" and he made big plays. I think his good pal Sapp probably even had to admit Johnson had a good game.

And speaking of Sapp, why would you put a mic on John Lynch when the big man is on the field? Other than the fact every third word would probably have to be edited for content it would have been a whole lot more entertaining.

The game itself went on far too late. I bet a lot of kids on the East Coast didn't get to see the second half and that's just not fair. There's no reason this game can't start at 4:00 p.m. on the East and 1:00 p.m. in the West. Somehow I think one or two (billion) people might still tune in.

Although I guess you'd only get $1.9 million per 30-second spot instead of the $2.3 they reportedly charged this year!

Canadian TV sucks. Is it too much to ask to see some new commercials? Next year I'm either getting a dish or moving closer to Detroit and sticking up some good old fashioned rabbit ears!

Thankfully the game wasn't a total wash. We saw some great defense, some fun special teams play and, after all, it's still football and the beer's cold!

Added to that was the fact my brain didn't have to work too hard!