NFL: Cleveland To Honor Art Modell

By The IceMan

Cleveland To Honor Modell

The City of Cleveland Chamber of Commerce has announced that it will be naming Art Modell its "Sportsman Of The Year" receipient. The Chamber said that "it is time to bury the hatchet, this man gave us 35 years of glorius football and it is time for us to celebrate with him, his Super Bowl triumph in Baltimore." The banquet honoring Modell will be held in a secret location so as not to endanger Modell's life.

A source close to The Chamber said they are awaiting word from The U.S. National Weather Service as to the exact date of the event, "We plan to schedule the banquet on the same day that hell freezes over." Ravens' Linebacker, Ray Lewis has agreed to do the Invocation.

Shaq sits in protest

sportsrumor.com has learned that Shaquille O'Neil sat out Sunday's game with the Knicks to protest the fines and the treatment that team mate J.R. Isiah Rider has been receiving at the hands of the NBA and Lakers Coach and ZEN MASTER, Phil Jackson. The protest comes on the heels of Rider missing his plane to New York for the game and having to fly to The Apple at his own expense.

Sources close to Shaq say that the big guy thinks it is very unfair to continue to harass his gentle team mate. "Look, the guy's only making $800,000 this year. Between the fines that Phil keeps giving him for being late and the fines the League gives him for not taking his drug tests, the poor guy is already down to $650,000. Anyway, last year he made 5 mil at Atlanta and they didn't make him show up all the time so he thinks that the 800 grand must be for a part time gig."

Rider was supposed to join the protest but he overslept and missed the meeting set up to plan it.

Wells Signs Endorsement Deal in Chicago

Recently acquired pitcher, David Wells has signed a big endorsement contract with weight loss guru Richard Simmons. Wells, who complained about the lack of commercial opportunity in Toronto while playing for the Blue Jays, inked a multi-million dollar deal while the sprightly Simmons jumped up and down singing, "he's my new boyfriend, he's my new boyfriend."

Terms of the deal were not disclosed but Wells did not deny that he was appearing in one of Simmons' "Sweating With The Oldies" videos in speedos and a form fitting tube top.

There could be trouble brewing in the Pale Hose locker room. New team mate, Frank Thomas, was reportedly ready to sign on with Simmons before Wells aced him out of the lucrative deal.

Article courtesy of SportsRumor.com