General: Mulling it over -- Super Bowl edition

I know, I know. As far as Super Bowl predictions go, well, let's just say I'm not exactly lighting stogies with hundred dollar bills right now. But, hey, you should all have known better than to listen to me. After all, I'm a New York Mets' and Washington Redskins' fan, so what do I know about winning? As Sunday proved, absolutely nothing. But before I go on, I must give credit where credit is due. I picked the Raiders to win by more than a touchdown, but that was before I realized the Raiders aren't any good. Now I know better, so where is that Bucs' bandwagon? Seriously, I said Brad Johnson could never win a Super Bowl, and I was right. Brad rode the coattails of his more talented teammates and everyone is saying this is the next dynasty. Sorry, but I don't buy that. Michael Pittman (yes, former Arizona Cardinal Michael Pittman) had the game of his life, Dexter Jackson is the second coming of Larry Brown, and Rich Gannon played his college ball for Delaware (what was I thinking?).

Nothing about this Super Bowl was enjoyable. Nothing. But nonetheless, before I let this game go to sleep, I have a few observations I'd like to share in my Super Bowl version of Mulling it Over...

"Terry Tate: Office Linebacker" is the best Super Bowl commercial ever. The only way this could have been better is if it was "Ray Lewis: Office Linebacker" and the commercial featured Lewis stabbing various co-workers for taking too many coffee breaks or hanging around the water cooler too long...

There was a point in the game Sunday night where John Madden said Chartric Darby was doing a great job replacing the injured Booger McFarland. Chartric Darby? Booger McFarland? How come I've never heard of these guys? Booger and Chartric? These guys need their own 1970s-style cop drama and FOX is just the network to give it to them...

To be honest, I never thought I'd see another network come close to having as many shows that I never want to see as CBS does year-in, year-out. But after watching hours (and I mean hours upon hours) of ABC Sunday and seeing countless promos for ABC's primetime lineup, I'm beginning to waiver somewhat. I never want to see Jim Belushi again and how on earth did "Less Than Perfect" make it this long? I might not even watch the annual thrill-fest that is the Pro Bowl. I'm that upset...

On the subject of Barret Robbins, whatever he did to be sent home by the Raiders, could it possibly have been worse than suspended Raider Darrell Russell? Russell has been suspended twice for drugs and another time for drugging a woman and then sexually assaulting her. Robbins is sent home for missing practice (which is fine) but it's also been reported that he suffers from clinical depression. Yet there are his Raiders' teammates, saying they never want to see him again while these very same guys said nothing as Russell was repeatedly arrested, suspended, and everything else. Forget Robbins, if I was a Raider (and thank God I'm not) I'd be more inclined to say I never want to see the Bucs again...

I'm beginning my campaign now for David Allan Coe to be on next year's Super Bowl halftime show. Just picture if Coe was the third act instead of Sting for Sunday night's debacle. Seeing No Doubt dance around while performing a duet of "Longhaired Redneck" with Coe would have been pure television magic...

Watching Arnold Schwarzenegger in ABC's pre-game show instantly conjured up memories of "The Magic Hour." What made interviewing Arnold seem like a good idea? "Here's an ex-superstar athlete who can barely speak, let's ask him what he has to say." Thanks ABC...

Speaking of "The Magic Hour," "Jimmy Kimmel: Live" took a big first step towards reaching similar heights of awkwardness Sunday night during it's first show. With perhaps the best guests (Snoop Dogg, Warren Sapp, and an inebriated George Clooney along with his bottle of vodka) a talk show has ever seen, Kimmel was so nervous that I half-expected him to send it over to Sheila E. to take it to commercial break...

As angry as I was to see Keyshawn Johnson win a Super Bowl, he did provide one of the best post-game interviews of all time. Speaking directly to ESPN's Sterling Sharpe, Keyshawn said, "I have a ring, and I didn't have to get mine from my brother." The only thing better than a sore loser is an ungracious winner (I'm lookin' at you Romo). Well done Keyshawn...

Now that the Super Bowl is gone, the post-NFL lull that hits the world of sports has officially begun. A great time for all of us to reflect on the firing of Marty Mornhinweg. After all, if Marty's job wasn't safe, whose is?... Imagine if ABC was unable to coax FOX into letting John Madden out of his contract, leaving Al Michaels, Dan Fouts and Dennis Miller to call the Super Bowl? I can only dream about what it would have been like:

Fouts: Rich Gannon, despite the five interceptions, is really throwing a great ball right now. He is proving to us all that his MVP Award was no mistake.

Miller: Gannon looks like a cross between Dostoevsky, Tony Eason, and Vinnie Testaverde. Bop, bop, bop...

Michaels: That makes absolutely no sense.

Fouts: Dennis is great.

Damn you FOX...

One more thing on the whole Barret Robbins incident before I end my rant. I feel cheated that there probably will not be another Super Bowl mishap now for a few more years. It was 10 years between Stanley Wilson's infamous cocaine incident in 1989 and Eugene Robinson's purchasing of the services of a prostitute in 1999. But this one wasn't even entertaining (in fact, it was sad). The NFL, and more importantly yours truly, needs Michael Irvin back...

Since it is now a little over a year before next year's Super Bowl, why not give my prediction and, in so doing, ensure that neither team I choose will make it to the big game. It's J-E-T-S all the way! Jets 35, Eagles 31.