2004 - Reclaiming Happiness One Life at a Time

The dawn of a New Year has already brought with it a pile of corpses - known more commonly as ‘resolutions’ prior to January 1 - which are burning on the funeral pyre of good intentions. Next year will be different.

No. It won’t and it’s time to stop worrying about it.

2004 is the year to reclaim our lives. We should refrain from buying books designed to improve us in any way. Let’s search instead for books with titles like "Stay the course" or "You’re just fine as you are - have another bag of chips."

There are any number of titles designed to lift us up from whatever present state of wretchedness we supposedly live in. We should be richer and thinner. We should be better parents and mates. For good measure, apparently if we’re not speed reading by now, we're barely functional.

I am reminded of the catatonic hours watching late night TV in college. The programs largely consisted of people screaming at you about how - with two quarters and a dime - they managed to become real-estate tycoons. I had enough money to pay my rent - barely - so what was wrong with me that I couldn’t turn the spare change left over in my pocket into a mini-empire of condos and foreclosures?

The healthiest person I ever met was in college. He held no aspirations to conquer Wall Street and simply wanted to maintain the status quo. He had a girlfriend whom he loved, a comfortable apartment, a recliner and a big screen TV. He said to me one day that all he hoped for was to keep what he already had because it was enough.

Gasp.

When was the last time we met someone who thought they had enough?

Being the richest and best-looking person in the graveyard is the goal most of us set for ourselves. "Did you see the body in that coffin? Abs of steel!" Now, we shouldn’t adopt any affectation that there is nobility in poverty. But, until a higher power informs us that we have more than a single life to live, I think a reassessment of priorities might be in order.

Think back to when we were in school. Mornings spent abusing the snooze alarm were usually reserved for those times when we had a particularly gruesome subject (i.e. math) awaiting us at 8 am. We also can’t forget that a cold winter demands an especially sharpened motivation to draw us out of the snuggly warmth of a bed to venture out in a dark and frigid morning. Yet, when we had a subject we loved, up out of bed we hopped.

Life is like that. So many hours are spent in activities which do not bring us any pleasure. Much of that is self-inflicted. What will others think of me if I don’t do X? In 2004, the healthiest answer to that might be "who cares!"

I am impressed by those who change career mid-stream for reasons that have nothing to do with maximizing wealth or opportunity but everything to do with the pursuit of happiness. I am reminded of the artists who lived in squalor in an attempt to continue their work. I am sure Van Gogh heard more than once, "when are you going to get a real job, Vincent?’ He may not have had a "real job" but he created lasting beauty.

After all, how much money do we really need to live comfortably? I liken it to being shot - once the first bullet has done its trick, it’s not strictly necessary to fire four more shots. We live in one house and drive one car at a time. Does the accumulation of more add one day to our lives?

We want to set a good example for our children. Working until you drop at an unfulfilling job is not the best we can leave them with. It might be better to instill in them the self-confidence to pursue that which they love, to find work that provides meaning to their lives and which holds within it the potential to contribute to the human experience.

We are strange creatures. No one chooses a pair of pants without first trying them on. Yet when we choose careers -presumably our life’s work - we often grab the first ‘life’ on offer based on opportunity and a fear that there may never be another knock on our door. We forget that life - as John Lennon wrote - is "what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans." We wake up one day with more behind us than ahead and we wonder how it all happened.

So let’s make 2004 the year of choice - the year to do that which gives us pleasure and ask ourselves where we are going and if the destination is really worth the trip. Actually, the final destination is the same for all of us and that might be a good thing to keep in mind when making choices.

One last question: Would you like fries with that?