| Name |
Views and Comments | Date |
| wee wee |
what if you get married and your husband leaves you in less than a week do you still report it to the socialsecurity office or do the clerk do it for you. |
6/8/2008 |
| Kelsa |
This was an AWESOME article! I'm getting married in a couple of months, and I've been angsting over the whole name change thing for years! Now that the time to make a decision is iminent, I'm even more confused than ever. Reading this article really made me feel better. I'm still not sure what I will do, but it helped me to realize that being a strong, independent, progressive women is about much more than whether or not I choose to take my husbands last name. |
6/3/2008 |
| sabina K |
i think this name is wonderful and so pretty! Im happy that this is my name. |
5/10/2008 |
| Cheryl Knight |
I thoroughly enjoyed your article.
I find myself in a bit of a conundrum. I am 46 years old, divorced for 13 years. My children from my first (and only, so far) marriage are grown and on their own.
I've met a gentleman whom I can easily see spending the rest of my days with him by my side. We can talk about anything and even agree to disagree on certain subjects, except the name thing... before I go further, understand we live 150 miles apart.
I find our relationship at a stand-still, both of us eager to take it to the next step. But he being from a proud Italian/Catholic family, steeped in tradition, feels I should take his name when the time comes. I, having taken a man's name in my past, and gone thru the necessary red tape to reclaim my own identity, feel it entirely ludicrous for me to once again discard my heritage, my identity to suddenly take the name of a family with whom I have no history.
He can't seem to grasp how important this is to me, and that I'm already giving up so much if I am to leave a job of 11+ years, one of which I am building a sizeable pension for retirement. He's been at his job 1 1/2 years. Also, I would be giving up being near my 20 yr old son. Not to mention leaving daily contacts with friends I love. I own a house, he rents. See my frustration?
He lives in my hometown, I've been 150 miles away from there since 1993.
He wants to compromise by my hyphenating my name. But that's still changing it. He doesn't get it. By changing my name, my heritage....my history as a Teutonic people, whether it be hyphenated or altogether dismissed is devastating to me. I tried to tell him that I'm already giving up so much, and he's given up absolutley nothing. He would simply be compromising to allow me my name, not giving anything up since he didn't have it to give in the first place. However, to change or modify my name would indeed be the death of Cheryl "Knight" as we know it.
It has nothing to do with feminism, or what others may think. It has everything to do with my own psychological aversion I have to this 'ownership' idea. The couverture that this ideal was based upon. I am a Knight. I've built my integrity and good character on this name. I am not an Italian/Catholic.
In a nutshell, we may never marry because of this issue. I don't know why if he fell in love with me as Cheryl Knight, why he thinks it would be any different once we're married.
Ugh. Marriage..... That's a whole other show, Oprah.
|
4/22/2008 |
| Sherrill Flood |
Just take the new name. It's called being married. All these poor children with hyphenated names is just confusing to everyone. Thats why there are so many baby- mommas. When you get married yoy now share the same last name. If you want your children to have the wifes maiden name use it as their middle name. |
12/18/2007 |
| Josh Smith |
I think that all women should go by their Married Name because of Suffering From Identity Crisis?
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5/17/2007 |
| A |
if you do take his name a reminder that if you do get a divorce and want to return to your former last name make sure you get the official copy of the divorce decree in order to change your name this may be required, and just the page with the name change please ;-) |
2/15/2007 |
| Cindy |
Very informative, covered all of the bases. |
10/12/2006 |
| Shino |
I am asian female who did not take my husband's last name (american last name). Before we got married, I've gave him opportunity to convince me to take his last name. He said it wasn’t important for me to take his last name. Last name was our history and identity. As an equal partner, we were together and committed to one another and that was a lot more importance than last names in our partnerships.
I am very lucky to have husband like mine, but we haven’t yet faced the ultimate issue. Children. I believe in maternal naming, but I don’t want to dismiss the one I love even though men have been dismissing women for a long time. I don’t want to punish my love because of history how men behaved and society allowed it.
Your article is a great article to start discussions. It will be good to know how we can go about talking these issues without offending 90% who decided to take husband’s last name. Offending men? They get offended anything women have to say anyway when their ego is on the line.
Thank you for writing the article. I enjoyed it very much.
BTW, why there aren’t much Kathy Jr. or Laura Jr? Why always Joe Jr or Bill Jr? In dictionary, junior means young people. Why can’t it be young people of female names? |
6/8/2006 |
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