| Name |
Views and Comments | Date |
| Terri Stanford |
You could not be more spot on. I was the wife of such a person. Thank you, you described my entire 10 year marriage. Fortunately I got out, but after 11 years of divorce, he is still trying to control and manipulate me. |
11/17/2009 |
| debra g |
so what is your opinion or best guess on how to get a friend away from one of these monsters? and how do you figure this jerk became such a severe case of nc? i have watched this cycle with my girlfriend and this psycho for nearly 10 years and the only thing i see happening is her turning into him and loosing herself by the second. sad but i think it is a loosing battle too help her get away, they feed off each other. any words of encouragement? |
11/2/2009 |
| J |
I've been in a turbulent two year relationship with a narcissist. I've tried to commit suicide, been threatened with murder, been used and abused, and terrified. I wanted to be dead rather than live like this. Recently it ended (again) and I will not go back. If he kills me, then he kills me but living life like this is much worse. Its an insane, destructive, hellish life which I have never deserved. I just hope he moves on to his next victim fast and leaves me alone. |
9/25/2009 |
| S |
I find this to be very helpful and, I don't feel so "crazy" after reading it. I believe my partner has a lot of these things going on. We've been together for 12 years and over that time, he has left me many many times. He tells me that I have issues to work through and I have to be alone to do it. He told me that I have NPD once. I am the center of his world when we first get back together and, then I feel that I am treated like nothing later. I've never felt good enough for him. I feel defective. |
9/22/2009 |
| Susan |
You must know my husband. You described him perfectly. |
9/22/2009 |
| fee |
He use to walk in the apartment driving me crazy then wanting to make up talk about it. it was like i had no freedom until i went to work . he reminded me of my ex husband on he this was 10 years older than me he a clean freak and thought knew everything it really got on my nerves I just pray one he grows up and gets some major help soon . I need to do a better job listening to voice that say's something just not right my pastor say's it the holy spirit try to guide into the truth and it happen to be right he was was a controlling abusuive 40 year never been married man |
9/8/2009 |
| fee |
i think this is very helpful because i dated a abusive man for almost a year |
9/8/2009 |
| RITA |
Now I UNDERSTAND WHY I REMAINED ATTRACTED TO HIM EVEN THOUGH I WAS IN EMOTIONAL CONFUSION, CONFLICTED, MANIPULATED AND COERCED. THANK YOU FOR THIS AMAZING ARTICLE. |
8/6/2009 |
| RITA JAMES |
This article so amazingly described my life with my narcissistic spouse, whom I'M so grateful to be free of and divorced from. Now I KNOW why I always felt out of balance with him. And emotionally starved, completely manipulated yet afraid to rock the boat for fear that he would leave me. I started doing major work on my self and discovered that I have attatchment issues, which I'M working on so that I won't be so needy in my future relationships. |
8/6/2009 |
| Monda |
I would like a online support group to join. Please suggest a couple.
Thank you. |
7/13/2009 |
| WT |
Holy crap I think you might have just changed my life. I am a victim, its not me... |
4/22/2009 |
| beth |
My father is a paranoid narcissist & I only figured it out last year thanks to this website. It was absolutely devastating to realize all the wasted years I spent trying to "fix" myself so that he wouldn't be so nasty to me. I suppose its better last than never, but all the same, it is hard knowing that nothing I tried to do had any chance of success.
Reading the description of a narcissist finally explained everything, all the crazy things he would accuse me of doing; his need to start fights with me over imagined offenses, his refusal to quit yelling obscenities at me even if I was in hysterical tears, etc.
On the plus side, at least I understand there is no point in continuing to try to have a relationship with someone who will never change. I am so glad that I finally know why my father is the way that he is. |
3/4/2009 |
| M |
Absolutley chilling to read as I'm in a break-up with one of these guys right now. I'm in that coercive post break-up post-mortem stage and I think that reading this, and being more aware of my own maladaptive urges will help me to stay strong and not get pulled back in. it's totally like an addiction for the partner - sometimes its so hard not to focus on the hit, but the costs are awful. Thanks so much for this article. Think I'll be reading it daily until I recover! |
12/30/2008 |
| Christina |
Great article. Very helpful and informative. I live with a narcissist and it really opened up a lot of things for me. A better understanding. I knew them all but just didn't know how to explain it. For instance I can't seem to get anyone around me to believe that he is the problem and not me. He is so charming in the short term but when you are around him for the long term his true self comes out. He has told our neighbors and his entire community that I am evil and a witch as well as many other things. He has convinced even the police that I have assaulted him and he had me arrested. It was the other way around. He had the cop say the marks all over me were already there even when I recorded the entire incident. That is what I have to do to. I wanted to have proof of all of our conversations. That way I thought people would believe me. It didn't work. He is so skilled at convincing even the police that I believe he could get away with murder. I thank you for putting this information out there. The only reason I haven't left him is because he has told me that he would subject my children to the cruelties of his family. The whole lot is dysfunctional. I am waiting until my children get old enough to be able to communicate things to me. We do not co-exist as it stands now. He is so messed up and evil,I cannot stand to look at him. I hate that he is the Father of my children. I had no idea. He was through with me the minute I figured it out. I no longer served a purpose to his image. I honestly couldn't believe that there were really people like this. He is sick. But what a pro.
This helps me a lot. I now have something to give to our former marriage counselor that told me that I was borderline. That I was the problem. I plan on sending him a copy. I have been treated badly by his community and his family as well as neighbor's,friends and his outside world. It is like living in a Nightmare. I cannot wait to wake up. Although when I wake up I just wonder if I will still be here. I think not. He has destroyed all of my friendships. He ran everyone away. He expected me to conform to his ways and only associate with his friends and his world. |
1/5/2008 |
| ChrisM |
Has anybody out there found any specific information regarding relationships with female narcissists? |
10/31/2006 |
| Mandy |
this article helped me answer alot of questions. i just got out of a 5 year relationship with a narcissist and it ended very badly. he said that if couldn't have me then no one could. i was severely hurt by him and i ended up with several broken ribs, a fractured collarbone and hip, a cheekbone fracture, and many bruises. i had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks due to surgeries and what not. he is currently in jail because i pressed charges. things were fine between us because we grew up together and our families are really close. i have known him since i was 4 years old. he was my everything and then last year when i came to college he went crazy because i was not with him 24/7. i guess he couldn't handle the distance because he constanly accused me of cheating on him when i wasn't. i loved him with all my heart and he just wouldn't grasp that. i guess he had to have me in his sight all the time. i now know that some things just cannot be changed. thank you for your article. |
9/13/2006 |
| Renee |
Wow. this is scary...... I may be in a relationship with someone like this. Its the beginning stages..... but feel scared to break up. |
9/7/2006 |
| annmarie |
sorry, Dr. VAKNIN. |
8/31/2006 |
| annmarie |
dr. vanikin, i'm sure you realize that you "control" most of the page 1 google entries for "narcissistic personality"? thus only your views are available (for the most part). you sneaky NPD, you!! |
8/31/2006 |
| Norma |
I found this article to be very informative..... would be interested in ideas to break away from the narcissist. As stated, clinging to this person, for reasons only known of by each victim, is difficult to understand, but it is a strong, strong hold and one not at all easy to break free from...... even years later |
8/20/2006 |
| katy |
remarkable |
5/12/2006 |
