| Name |
Views and Comments | Date |
| Phoenix |
You are a brilliant author! I cried... |
11/11/2009 |
| india |
the end was so beautiful even when they died they was still together |
11/3/2009 |
| Bonne |
omg this story was awesome... only wish there more to read... |
10/2/2009 |
| Travis MIles |
yeah you should totally make this story into a book.
It is totally an awesome story line that shows Vampires in a different light.
Travis Miles |
10/2/2009 |
| Tres Disapointe |
im sorry this is appaling, not only is it dreadfully written but the story is unoriginal on several counts, the grammer is frightening and to be honest i only read the whole thing as a source of amusment and in the hope it would get better. unfortunatly it did not.
im sorry if youre hoping to have a career as a writer because i think it might be the wrong choice for you. |
9/30/2009 |
| maria |
i liked it , the plot was pretty good. the end was different , a bittersweet ending. |
9/18/2009 |
| Farida M |
i lovely story, i just wish it was longer x good job! |
8/15/2009 |
| imogen |
it's good but it could have been longer. |
8/7/2009 |
| cherie |
this is so cool. i wish i could find the damien of my life.not exactly a vampire though.hahahhaha. |
8/7/2009 |
| anna |
it is very sad. i thank you should change it like not having every vampire dead. |
7/16/2009 |
| Amrit |
I'm disappointed, but atleast it had a happy ending :) |
7/10/2009 |
| Sarah A C. |
I think that is absolutely beautiful. There were a few parts I was uncertain about, but it made into a wonderful short story. Keep writing and one day you too will be an author. Here is a tip,spell check helps. Keep writing! |
7/7/2009 |
| Ivy |
This story rocks its the best... |
6/21/2009 |
| Marishka |
theending was kinda boring, coulda had more bloodyness and maybe some more loveyness and maybe some love senes |
6/15/2009 |
| Rebekah |
It's a great story line and don't take this the wrong way, but you tend to show not tell. your characters are a bit scetchy and dthe ending was a bit rushed, but other than that it's realy good. keep working with it and it will get even better. i love it by the way. |
5/19/2009 |
| katie |
I loved it. |
4/29/2009 |
| Phedre Van H. |
when there is love...there is nothing and no one that can break such a bond...you are a wonderful writer, with a heart like no other. keep writing...your very good at it. |
4/25/2009 |
| Taylor elliot |
HI
i just love this it is a good story who published it? |
4/22/2009 |
| IRENE |
THAT WAS SO ROMANTIC! |
4/13/2009 |
| Flaka |
I thought it was very good and sad at the same time . Nice Job! |
4/13/2009 |
| cant tell |
what a great story |
4/13/2009 |
| JENNY |
DON'T GET DISCOURAGED BY THE NEGATIVE COMMENTS. USE THEM TO LEARN BY AND TRUST ME IT WILL HELP YOU IN THE LONG RUN. |
3/27/2009 |
| JENNY |
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH DESCRIPTION ABOUT THE CHARACTERS. I DON'T FEEL LIKE I KNOW THEM OR CAN EVEN RELATE TO THEM. THERE IS A LOT OF POTENTIAL WITH THIS STORY BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF BLANKS THAT NEED TO BE FILLED IN. SOME RESEARCH ON VAMPIRES WOULD PROBABLY HELP. THE END SNUCK UP ON ME AND I'M STILL NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED. AGAIN ALOT OF POTENTIAL KEEP WORKING ON IT I THINK YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO MAKE IT AN AWESOME STORY. |
3/27/2009 |
| Alex |
it was really goof and actually gave me a few ideas :) |
3/24/2009 |
| elsh |
luv the ending but parts of it sound like ' an interview with a vampire'
(funny thing is i watched it yesterday and i'm reading your story today)
please add more detail about the battle and how she met him. |
3/19/2009 |
| megan |
amazing i wish there was more! |
3/15/2009 |
| Lyric Alford |
Well to the rude comments that were left, is it not possible for you to respectfully criticize something? Give her pointers, dont discourage her. If she becomes a great writer one day, Im going to laugh at you soo hard.(: Nice story. Needed more detail. I liked it for the most part though.(: |
3/6/2009 |
| ashlee |
that was an awsome story i loved it u should write more |
3/2/2009 |
| abby |
i love this book it is so romaic and sad at the same time but in the end there still togather when they die it is so sweet |
2/27/2009 |
| Lorena |
awe I loved the ending great story |
2/13/2009 |
| MaDDy |
OMG!
This is really good! |
2/13/2009 |
| DeadOfNite |
Awws. I loved it. Read all 5 parts. Awesome story line you have going there. |
2/12/2009 |
| sydney |
i liked it a lot a few more details would be nice tho |
2/11/2009 |
| bubbly |
dat was actually really cool, for a short vampire story it was sad but lovng and kool ,, i loved it tbh lol. |
2/5/2009 |
| Sea |
IT WAS BURTIFUL! |
1/29/2009 |
| tahlia |
wow, that made me cry,
grate job |
1/18/2009 |
| luna |
wow,that's a great story |
1/9/2009 |
| kateee |
lol that made me cry |
1/3/2009 |
| Rattle-Can |
I read all 5 chapters and wow. It's ridiculous. Your characters were weak. The dialogue is forced. The storyline is absolutely crazy. And also, vampires dont exist. |
12/29/2008 |
| The Clock Maker |
That was absolutely terrible. At one point, I stopped reading and threw up. Then for some ridiculous reason, I kept on reading. Long story short, I threw up 8 times. You should burn your computer, go outside, and take up volleyball or something. |
12/29/2008 |
| Gab |
Amazing story! And great climax and ending! Really good. |
12/5/2008 |
| cathy |
this is good :) |
11/26/2008 |
| Ashleigh |
This is really good. |
11/21/2008 |
| Sarah |
this is so beautiful marshalla |
11/19/2008 |
| HerOfTheTormntd |
hmmm...i agree that this story is good but i also agree that it should be more thought out. try to think of more conversations and more scenes. u are almost repetitive and there needs to be like a cliff hanger to keep ur readers thirty for more. B- |
11/18/2008 |
| DominiqueB. |
this story was...alright. i wouldn't say that it was good (no offense) but it wasn't bad neither. i think you should practice you're writing technique more and use more detail. you aren't a bad writer you just seem a little to ameture and that kind of kills the story a little. when some one reads a story they want to feel like they're actually there but with this i was kind of ...bored. not only was the writing not that good i felt like i read that story before. Next time when you write a story try to make it less like someone else's story and more like a you. don't try to play it safe. take risk. other than that it was okay. |
11/15/2008 |
| Frankie |
You need to write a novel! |
10/25/2008 |
| lola |
you are good |
10/25/2008 |
| Jade |
Oh wow, this is brilliant, I loved chapter 1 the best, not sure why. |
10/20/2008 |
| ella |
the story was ok. |
10/8/2008 |
| Emozabeth |
i thought it was alright. u couldve build the characters more and i thought damien died to fast..when u hear about vampires, usually theyre stronger than humans. and if they lived 200 yrs, yes their death wouldnt be that easy..overall you had a good plot. |
8/16/2008 |
| Amber K |
this is the most romantic and sad story i have ever read about 2 vampires and how much they love eachother...this story will remain in my heart forever... |
7/10/2008 |
| maria |
so sad! i love it though. it's a really good story |
5/24/2008 |
| angelicvamp |
oh too sweet |
5/2/2008 |
| Vix |
amazing writing this made my day in science my freind and i read in amusment and exitment waiting for the blood and carniverious plessure when tshe finaly turns and he chuckles "u dont want to kill me do u dear" my hurt filled with emotions this was perfect |
4/16/2008 |
| Kerilyn |
Hey, don't listen to that creeb "BJ.." I love your story and there's nothing wrong about it. |
4/10/2008 |
| Spencer |
That was an absolutely beautiful story. its was intriguing. being the darkling in the family who insists she's a vampress, it was inevitabley amzing in my opinion. i think that you, darling, should keep writing. start publishing more vampire romance. i'd buy them. |
3/15/2008 |
| bj |
ive heard lots of your story in other books its as if u jus changed a few books into one story |
2/29/2008 |
| Shervana |
I Love that story... its perfect!!! |
12/28/2007 |
| Savannah |
I trully love this story, but It seems as though it is missing something. I think it is missing more into the life of their kind. I think it would be good to write out more conversations between them, and to inlongate some of the events. I think that would make it a trully exellent story on my behalf! :) Good Luck, your an exellent writer |
12/25/2007 |
| tanya |
this story is very short and has an abrupt end!!
I liked the chapter 1 but this is soo....
BORING |
12/8/2007 |
| Kara |
This has great potential for development into a novel. |
10/23/2007 |
| Tanya |
it was a good story
|
7/29/2007 |
| Boredperson=( |
WOW... it..was..GREAT! although i wish the part when Damien died and you went into a blind rage i wish that was alot longer....like you find the person who killed Damien and feed on them and then kill more people before you died but overall the story, plot, characters were superb. KEEP IT UP FOR CHRISTS SAKE PLEASE MAKE MORE STORIES. oh and im NOT over catholic i wish i was a buddist =( |
7/4/2007 |
| Cassondra |
Beautiful story, very beautiful. Many facts are involved, as well. Great job :) |
6/13/2007 |
| sabrina |
i love it its soo good i wish you could have wrote more |
5/29/2007 |
| Marice Portman |
OMG i loved this story it was so beautiful. Damien sounds just like my lover i could never be able to do that stuff oh well i shall continue to read and comment your stories so until then i shall say farewell.
|
5/4/2007 |
| heather |
i luv this story
|
4/26/2007 |
| Sindy |
I like it a lot I am a huge fan of vampire love stories and this is a really great short story one. Good Job!! keep writting!! |
4/25/2007 |
| Climclop |
Could've been better, could've been worse, I was fairly disappointed by the end, had a lot of potential =/ Brenda, emmie, be careful what you wish for. Seriously. |
4/20/2007 |
| Puppy (Act) |
Well, your story was okay, not bad, but not extremely good. Your story did have a nice plot to it, and i did enjoy some of it. But you may do some work/research on Vampires, and you may want to revise your story, maybe make it longer and more detailed with more to it. Your story seemed almost rehearsed, not in a bad way of course. Other than those few things, it was a good story. But like i said, research on Vampires, they don't simply die from being stabbed, and you never said what he was stabbed with. It was a good story thought.
|
3/19/2007 |
| K-Kay |
also you schould probably do more reserch on Vamps becasue could they really just die of being stabbed come on, they are immortal...something like holy water would be the only thing that could have stopped them...they are the undead they cant just die in like two secounds after fighting- peace |
1/23/2007 |
| K-Kay |
i really likeed your story i just don think it should ended that simply..Vamps are mythical creatures so maybe putting them in Limbo or at the gates of Hates or something strugling to forge a better life would have made a better ending and with your writing skills you could have tottaly pulled it off - Peace |
1/23/2007 |
| Ellen |
i've read all these chapters of your story. the beginning was actually probably the best. the first chapter had a lot of descripton and great detail. butthere was less and less in the rest. your a really great writer. the ending was very brief and short. kind of a disappointment. your should've added alot mre detail about the war and how Damien died. overall it was a very good story but it coud use a lt more detail in chapters 2, 3, 4, and 5. talk about why Dahmer was all messed up and how it all happened and talk more about Lothair more and how he came to you and how he found your lair. Very good tory though i really enjoyed reading it. |
12/13/2006 |
| cnn |
love your story. very compassionate.a real drawn to kind of story.keep writing girl,you just go somewhere with this.good luck. |
9/23/2006 |
| onetghlady] |
I ENJOYED READING EACH STORY,,,THEY WERE GOOD,,,I WOULD LIKE TO HEQR NORE OF THEIR ADVENTURES THOUGH..U TELL AN INTERETING STORY...THANK U ! |
9/18/2006 |
| Jacob |
great |
8/21/2006 |
| emmie (whawah) |
God this has made me wnat a vampire lover! I feel i am falling through some pit, seing as i have no LOVER YET... *cry cry* I feel the same as you Brenda... so unfair! I agree with everyone it should have been longer- or mde into a book! IT WAS THAT GD! |
6/28/2006 |
| emmie (again) |
if u read this that is. |
6/28/2006 |
| Emmie |
Amazing. I am so craving a but of Romance with a capital R. couldn't you right something about them in paradise? Pewtty please???? |
6/28/2006 |
| Ben |
You need more detail, it reads as though you skipped over some of the story. |
5/27/2006 |
| Tearz |
I LOVED IT SO MUCH...
I LOVED IT SOOO MUCH...
I'M SPEECHLESS AT HOW BEAUTIFUL IT WAS! |
3/5/2006 |
| Melinda |
i loved the meaning and everything its was a wonderful story the only thing is you could have been more detailed and you could have added more cause you didnt like tell the people what happened to the other vampires or anything but other then that keep on writing i loved it |
1/1/2006 |
| emma |
you still god it |
11/30/2005 |
| Tkeyah |
oh its magnificent!the ending of chapter 5 made me cry!!!lol love it |
11/4/2005 |
| Kendra |
This story is so cool. I love it. |
10/22/2005 |
| Brenda |
where can i find real vampires? i really need to know |
9/21/2005 |
| ((..XTC..)) |
For a short story, it's packed full of every emotion. I enjoyed reading the 5 short chapters and can only wish that it was longer. This is the type of reading I get addicted to. |
9/20/2005 |
| Zyra |
I want my friends to read all of this!!!!
|
9/12/2005 |
| angelofdarkness |
it is good......... exspecally the end |
5/21/2005 |
