The Vampire's Love - Chapter 1

My story begins in a little suburban town, outside of Glenn Cove. It was a nice little town where everyone was friendly. Of course no one would suspect the horror that was hidden under the streets, the horror that only surfaced at night.
Comments on article "The Vampire's Love - Chapter 1"
Name Views and CommentsDate
shorty awsome stories 11/12/2009
Joyce Bryant Love it ur a really good writer i am a vampire lover good wook cant wait 2 read more!:) 11/6/2009
india you need to write more i can not keep my eyes off 11/3/2009
india IT WAS CRAZY HOT I FELT LIKE I WAS HER JUST WANT TO BE LOVE BY A GUY WHO CARE FOR ME BUT THIS IS THE REAL WORLD AND THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO ME EVEN WHEN I DREAMED SAD FOR ME. 11/1/2009
lilcc i lov this storie so much! 11/1/2009
margaret omg. LOVE IT

I LOVE YOU
9/30/2009
Mickey very good be sure to write more 9/16/2009
tyra amazing you should become an author girl u rock 9/4/2009
jenny totall rubbish! if u want a vampire story read twilight not this crap 8/25/2009
chelsie its not good. simple as that. its too unrealistic something my 9year ols niece would come up with. its written really badly and has no sese of adventure or romance or nething! 8/25/2009
pandora its...welll...urgh! i mean come on if sum1 sed im a vampire staying in a homeless vampire shelter ud laugh at them. im sorry but maybe u shud think more about it being realistic 8/25/2009
abbey this is good i liked it 8/20/2009
Sea-Breeze REALLY GOOD! 8/6/2009
Anali I LOVED THIS STORY! its is my second fav vampire story next to the twilight saga. Have youever thought about making it longer and publishing it? YOU SHOULD! :) 7/2/2009
Kaitlin I think it was awesome! I love it. Most of the time when i read vampire books i think they're over the top, but this is just the best! 6/18/2009
vampyra i love vampire stories i haven't read this one but i would like to it looks good 6/2/2009
maichi thias is a vety googd charter 5/21/2009
abe it was a good chapter... but i need the book to know the holl thing 4/4/2009
jenny this chapter is awesome and i think it gives alot of detial and thats a good thing. 4/1/2009
Tina000 I Think It Is A Lovely Story. I Just Wish You Gave A Better Story About Her Life Before She Met Him. 3/19/2009
Jessica Twilght is much better 3/3/2009
Sylw wow, nice!
now if only you'd develop this a bit more, you'd be on your way to a book length story!
3/2/2009
stacey nice story 2/25/2009
tiffany soo coo0l 2/16/2009
sierra wow that was really good

got any more stories?
2/16/2009
louise omg thats so good, there may be heaps of vampire stories but urs is by far the best 2/11/2009
Sadlinia I think its awesome but dont forget to put much feelings in that story TAKE CARE NOW BYE BYE THEN `.` 1/11/2009
mem i loved it!my b day is in 3 more das (dec 28 1992)i'll be 17 teen! 12/25/2008
Lulu I think that if you added more details about your characters especially, than it would be better. When her mother dies, ofr instance, make us see her with her mother on the deathbed. Make him meet her right after that. Make us care about you characters. That's the most important piece. We have to care about the people and right now we've got a list of events, which are interesting, but would be even more so if you gave it a lot of emotion. 12/6/2008
Charlotte I Like This A Lot. It Is Interesting. I Have Always Been Interested In Vampires But I Never Knew That There Was Someone Out There That Liked Vampires As Much As Me. I Want To Become A Vampire But Everytime I Tell Someone This They Look At Me And Laugh And Say 'There Is No Such Thing Charlotte' And Shake There Head ANd Walk Away. But I WILL Find A Way To Prove Them Wrong And I WILL Become A Princess Of The Darkness! 12/4/2008
Tianna i like this story it is good it reminds me a little of twightlight but way differnet a love story thou! =D 11/4/2008
Rose This is just not good writing. You need to lay down more descriptive dialogue and make it less difficult to read- also, talk about WHY he thinks your character is worthy of being a vampire queen. Instead of saying "pun for sex", try substituting the word "euphamism". Him calling himself a "prince of darkness" sounds ridiculous, and work on using better grammar. (ie- the sentence about him getting you punch). Also, make your foreshadowing less obvious.

Or you could just do us all a favor and drop the keyboard, back away from the computer, and take up knitting instead. ;)
10/31/2008
flap61 ew 10/22/2008
Isabella Not bed but you could probably add more detail in you story. Not that i don't like it. Like you could describe how he looked and how his skin felt on yours they way his lips pressed agents your neck. How he smelt. But if you like Vampire love stories you should check out the books Twilight,New Moon,Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. by Stephenie Meyer. 10/16/2008
sharan Laws I liked it. you need to keep writting and know you are good 10/10/2008
Lisa cool 9/26/2008
MusicHottie wow, that was real good! 9/23/2008
gith maybe she call fall in love with one of his clan mates instead of him... 9/23/2008
vmpgrl god i luv this!
:)!
im probalby going to put MY book on this buzzz website type thing, or whatever it is!
hope you read it!
i mean its not hardly as good as yours, but i hope you read it anyways.
by the way,
its called forbidden kisses.
:)
9/6/2008
XoXo its...way to predictable, too much cheese. maybe you should try to base it what YOU would do in that situation. it really makes stories more realistic. 7/14/2008
kaiitlyn is this a realll book? 6/4/2008
Jameia D. Nice, I love Vampire romances, but it seems pretty stereotypical to me, no offense intended I am just saying what I think. 5/28/2008
VAMPIRA ehh..it souned like u took it from "Interveiw With A Vampire" i think u could do better.. 5/18/2008
vampirica Very well planned out, a truely meraculouse story, there are very few like it, but if you don't mind I would like to suggest to you out of my sencere like of this story, if you would put more detail into it. I can not tell you what to detail more on, because it is your story not mine, so I will leave it of by telling you that it was such a good read for me. 5/10/2008
Hidden way too awesome 5/2/2008
bella it was..... interesting. very dark slightly cisturbing but i liked it :) 4/21/2008
lakesha that was really good im also writing a story also entitled the vampire's love except that it is like totally different 4/19/2008
victoria awsome 4/12/2008
BooBoo It was weird 2/24/2008
filmgirl101 wow I really liked that! 2/12/2008
cal wow this is amazing its jsut great writing it gives me chilld 2 read but I just couldnt stop i had 2 c how it ended. whitch means it is writen by an amazing author! 2/9/2008
DeathIsEternal Vampire's dont have Fangs , but I actully did enjoy reading this short chapter , Thank you
Xx
12/26/2007
love vampires i liked it alot but dont worrie ur not the only one who has fell in love with a vampier im in love with one now and he is my world 12/12/2007
Jalisa What a very sweet, dark story i really enjoyed i've always searched for a dark and yet sweet story. 10/25/2007
Boredperson=( Though i dont read vampire love stories or anything gothic (i'm not a goth or a emo) it was very interesting and well written. GREAT JOB!=)
7/4/2007
sabrina this is so cool 5/29/2007
kirsten it was interesting 4/30/2007
Climclop there wasn't much suspense at the end, but i really liked it anyway. It's not the best I've read, but it's definitely up there, keep writing ^_^ 4/20/2007
M it sounds interesting 3/29/2007
Miranda OH MY GOD! i love vampire lov eit is like, the best story ever! 3/13/2007
adrena i love read about vampires because it is good 3/10/2007
jac wow! this is really good 3/4/2007
Act Not too bad for a begining of a story. 2/20/2007
Hannah Cute, but a bit predictable... Seems rather rehearsed also, but I shall read on before I make anymore assumptions. 12/21/2006
Bec wow...so nice...the story is so...real... 10/4/2006
Maharani Vampires are so cool.
They fill my heart with lust and passion.
So good for you.
10/2/2006
Maharani That's cool.
You should make more.
Like a book or something.
10/2/2006
Lezia well that was great..i loved it.. 10/2/2006
amandalynn i thought that that was a great way of introducing people to what lies in the shadows of the night, not daring to come out without a proper introduction of fangs, blood, romance, and love. bravo! 8/23/2006
amandalynn i thought that that was a great of introducing people to what lies in the shadows of the night not daring to come out without a proper introduction of fangs, blood, romance, and love. bravo! 8/23/2006
nobody i always like Vampire's love story. because it mixed the evil feeling and a romance feeling together. all of this feelings can show the true love that every humen been seach for a long, long time. i very appreciate it. 8/18/2006
nette kahn I think that is the coolest story i've heard, I try to write a story like that but I perfer reading other peoples storys. IT ROCK'S!!! 8/15/2006
shelby I loved it. You should make a book or something; I know I would read it non-stop! I'd live for that kind of adventure. I to would say yes and with no regrets to. The life style seams so incredible, I always wanted a life like that. 8/2/2006
sarah that was a very touching story i wish i could be a vampire but i am only 12 so? I can only hope that when I grow i will get bitten! 6/20/2006
LilJuNeBuG This story is awesome, you are very talented. My friend and I are currently working on our own Vampire Story, at this point we have about 262 pages. It is a complex story of two teenage vampires that happen to meet two teenage girls, that are best friends. One girl loves day dreaming about the undead while the other hates even the idea of it. The story is full of different characters including a ghost, a warewolf, and a secret cult of vampire hunters that are soon to learn of the vampires, I should maybe see if I could find somewhere I could add a dragon, lol. Well, keep writing. 6/16/2006
Sarah W. This story is awesome, you are very talented. My friend and I are currently working on our own Vampire Story, at this point we have about 262 pages to the story. Keep writing. 6/16/2006
rachel 13 o god this is awesome im writing a vampire story too! mine is about a vampire prince thats looking for a queen and when he finds a human lover to be his queen,she turns him down.im not plagerizing! this is the first time ive been on this sight.your story is awesome. 5/31/2006
MIdge Maire WOW!!! That was WONDERFUL!!!! 4/29/2006
harriet i'm 12 and i wanted to know how it feels to have your period... Can someone please tell me? 4/15/2006
Bree ♥ well, i like my storys better but hey like yours. and at least you have the guts to let everyone read yours. 3/31/2006
me kewl. really kewl. yay for vampires 1/22/2006
darkmind i love it is wose very good 12/14/2005
emma it was awsome i love it its the stuff i love to read 11/30/2005
goth_rose_666 this is kelsey leonard im glad you enjoyed the 1st chapter of my book and want to continue reading it if anyone wants to put it on their website you have my permission as long as you use the whole book and my name as author 11/24/2005
harriet thanks
10/10/2005
harriet i think that it is great, i would love to add it to my website. the hole book that is. if you dont mind. 10/10/2005
harriet i think that it is great, can i copy it. im only 12 10/10/2005
vampress anis its very good. would love to post it on my site if ok with you. thanks
9/29/2005
Christie Oh my God that is going to such a SWEET book to read and i have read a lot of vamp books and this one sounds really goood 8/11/2005
amanda not bad 8/10/2005
Trinety that was great you should be a writer. the passion in the story it filled the empty ness in my heart. I am also writing a Vampire love story, I am having trouble with it. I cant seem to keep going. writer block go figure. My e-mail MoonFire_ AT MSN . COM 7/20/2005
Windra Awww, I like it nice. 6/7/2005
Elaine Parker The first chapter definitely hooked me. I"m eager to continue reading to see what happens next. 6/4/2005
Use the feedback form below to submit your comments.
Your Comments:
Your Name:
Use the form below to email this article to your friends.
Recipient Email Address:
 Separate multiple email addresses by ;
Your Name:
Your Email Address: