A Long Flight Home (Chapter 1)
umm... this is my first story on here so please leave comments and tell me what you think, if people seem to like it i will keep going, thanks.
| Comments on article "A Long Flight Home (Chapter 1)" |
| Name |
Views and Comments | Date |
| P |
Y R U NOT WRITING! |
7/10/2009 |
| j |
i think andrew and melissa developed too fast. |
7/1/2009 |
| Cheye |
I think this story has the potential to be great. It has a nice story line/plot. If you really work with it and put your mind to it, people will love it.
But as the others have said before me, try slowing it down. For me, characters are one of the top things that are important. Describe each a little more and let the characters just come out more with dialogue and actions, I guess.
But all in all, I really like this story. Please keep writing. It would make an lovely addition to this site. |
7/1/2009 |
| Phoebe:D |
p.s. but for your first story not bad |
7/1/2009 |
| Phoebe:D |
i agree with james and latoya it was a bit much. and kind of confusing. i think you should rewrite it and make it a bit more... idk. just don't have it like that. too much. make it a bit more... INTERESTING. let us get to know the character. please. |
7/1/2009 |
| Latoya |
I agree with James
But it's really good
Keep writing it =] |
7/1/2009 |
| James Byrne |
A little... much. you seem quick to tie up every loose end and leave little too read on for. However I liked it and you should keep writing.
Just leave a little mystery |
7/1/2009 |
| meeth |
great going:) me waiting for more:) |
7/1/2009 | |
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