Terror In Small Town Pennsylvania

A small town in southwestern Pennsylvania is suddenly fear stricken as a killer walks among them.
Comments on article "Terror In Small Town Pennsylvania"
Name Views and CommentsDate
Linda Brilliant! 9/15/2009
Yami The ending is too abrupt. It would have been better if you allowed the climax to build up a bit further. Nevertheless, it was a rather good story. 3/20/2009
Doe Hey, I read this, I'm not an author, however, I am a accomplished reader "LOL"
I've read many murder mystery author's and your's jumped out when I was looking for 1 to read on the site.
1st i'd like to say it was good. 2nd i'd like to say you remind me somewhat of an author named Catherine Coulter that I read. 3rdly, I'd have to say you need to learn to imbellish more naturally.
It sounds forced to me. It sounds as if your having to really work your brain to dig for details. Be natural, let it flow naturally and imbelish naturally and it will be so much better.
But all in all it was an excellnt short story.		 12/9/2007
Lauren I thought the story was well written, I wasn't pleased by the ending though. It's hard to explain, but if i had to rate the story, based on its horrific ending, I would say a 3, at most. 9/12/2007
lineker great thrilling stories


 5/23/2007
vic fortezza First, thanks for your kind words about my story, His Destiny. Sorry it took me so long to respond. I liked your story. I especially liked your use of the second person for the killer. Your grammar is not consistent, however. You often put a period or comma after a quotation mark. That's easily fixed. I think the story has way too much information, such as street names and apt. numbers. As an exercise, try rewriting it and reducing the word count by 500. Look more closer for errors such as run on sentences and misspellings. I know that when I started out I was always concerned about losing word count. It probably won't be easy.
I'll try to get to the other story. If I don't, best of luck. And thanks again for your praise. I hope this helped.		 5/19/2007
Kallydietz! I think that my step-dad is awesome for being able to publish another story and that i'm hoping I can do the same as him except with my poems! 2/22/2007
Don D. Very good, Bert! Thanks for emailing me the link. 2/20/2007
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