Terror In Small Town Pennsylvania

Comments on article "Terror In Small Town Pennsylvania"
Name Views and CommentsDate
Maria Guerrero This was a very well written story, & I throughy enjoyed reading it. The charecters were presented in rich details, it made me feel the full impact of what you were conveying in your story! Please keep on sharing your wonderful gift of writing & story telling with us! 10/12/2011
Mrudula The start is intersting and this makes the expectation of the reader that the climax should be thrilling however the climax does'nt match the readers exception... 8/27/2010
The Librarian Really good story. Kept me on the edge of my seat. Liked how you also wrote the thoughts of the killer. 8/5/2010
Linda Brilliant! 9/15/2009
Yami The ending is too abrupt. It would have been better if you allowed the climax to build up a bit further. Nevertheless, it was a rather good story. 3/20/2009
Doe Hey, I read this, I'm not an author, however, I am a accomplished reader "LOL"
I've read many murder mystery author's and your's jumped out when I was looking for 1 to read on the site.
1st i'd like to say it was good. 2nd i'd like to say you remind me somewhat of an author named Catherine Coulter that I read. 3rdly, I'd have to say you need to learn to imbellish more naturally.
It sounds forced to me. It sounds as if your having to really work your brain to dig for details. Be natural, let it flow naturally and imbelish naturally and it will be so much better.
But all in all it was an excellnt short story.		 12/9/2007
Lauren I thought the story was well written, I wasn't pleased by the ending though. It's hard to explain, but if i had to rate the story, based on its horrific ending, I would say a 3, at most. 9/12/2007
lineker great thrilling stories


 5/23/2007
vic fortezza First, thanks for your kind words about my story, His Destiny. Sorry it took me so long to respond. I liked your story. I especially liked your use of the second person for the killer. Your grammar is not consistent, however. You often put a period or comma after a quotation mark. That's easily fixed. I think the story has way too much information, such as street names and apt. numbers. As an exercise, try rewriting it and reducing the word count by 500. Look more closer for errors such as run on sentences and misspellings. I know that when I started out I was always concerned about losing word count. It probably won't be easy.
I'll try to get to the other story. If I don't, best of luck. And thanks again for your praise. I hope this helped.		 5/19/2007
Kallydietz! I think that my step-dad is awesome for being able to publish another story and that i'm hoping I can do the same as him except with my poems! 2/22/2007
Don D. Very good, Bert! Thanks for emailing me the link. 2/20/2007
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Short Stories & Fiction » Suspense & Mystery Stories