| Name |
Views and Comments | Date |
| Carrie |
i believe that the Family Medallion concept is a very good idea for couples getting married with children. As the article stated, over half of married couples have been divorced and have kids. The medallion makes the kids feel welcome and part of the family. The medallion concept is widely accepted and is easy to receive from the internet. Even though the wedding is supposed to be all about the couple, the kids need to feel like they are a part too. |
1/25/2008 |
| Perry50 |
(Marriage.)
Marry someone elses former spouse and you will soon find out why thay were available. |
10/2/2007 |
| elthel |
put some wedding dresses on this site |
6/27/2007 |
| Tinks |
Hi I was moved so much by the above story. That made me realise that I have been doing something so right for my husband's two children, that I didn't really realise. And that everything that I have done has been solely for their benifit, that one day when they are old enough I hope that the can she through all of the grey that their mother has painted to them of me. I just keep doing what I feel is best for myself and my new family. Even through it can get really tuff some days just not to put her in her place and sink her just a couple of pegs, I realise that if I ever did this I was just be hurting the relationship that I built together with my husband and his two beautiful children.
My husband and I were married two years ago. I was working over seas and he back in our home country. When I was planning our wedding I was travelling backwards and forward, from where I was living abroad to home. (I was so hard, trust me do ever plan a wedding from overseas.) I was writing up our wedding invitations when it dawned on me that it wasn't just a wedding about my future husband and myself , it was about creating a live for the two of us that also included these two beautiful children that I loved so much.
That I decided to change all of my wording for our invites to we are creating our family so please join us with all of our names included for our special day. I was making frequent calls back home and talking to the kids heaps and asking them questions for what they would like to have included in the wedding, because it was their day too. Our daughter asked me when I took the brides maids for their fittings if she could have a dress the same colour as mine as she didn't want to look like the other girls. I sat with her for a while as we talked about it, I decided that it was ok. She was so happy, she said to the other girls this is really my new families day. Lots of different things happened along the way as they do. When we were making the final payment on the reception the kids asked if we could have goldfish on the table, my husband and I just looked at one another, while the manager was saying that's enough kids, it will be to hard, my husband and I said that we would like that. Please put goldfish on the table. (It did look awesome on the day). On my last trip abroad before the up and coming nupitals I was talking to one on my friends (who was from a divorced family) when I said to her I really want the kids to feel that this is there day too, I wish that their was some sort of certificate that you could buy. She said lets have a look we searched everywhere to no avail. I was up late one night look at my mum and dads wedding certificate when it dawned on me that I could scan my mum and dads wedding certificate into my computer and create my very one family wedding certificate. When I finally got home two days before my wedding, I showed my husband what I had come up with, he was so happy he had tears of joy when we went and saw our marriage celebrant that was also a family friend I asked him if he would sign it off for us and he said that he would gladly too. On the day of our wedding our daughter came to me asked if she could walk down the isle with my dad and I, that she always wanted to do that but she was too scared to asked eariler, because she had asked at her mother's wedding and her mum told her NO! When had a little talk about it, and at the last minute I decide to go with it, I will say I think it was one of the best decisions that I have ever made, because her face lights up all the time when she talks about this been the highlight off our family wedding day for her and gasp from all of our friends and family when she walked down the isle with us I will never forget, and then looking down at their father, the man that I am about marry with tears running down his face, I new it was the correct thing to do. As for her brother he gets so excited when 'he tells all of his friends that he was his dad's best man!!!
All I can say is that no matter how hard a time the ex wife will give you it just comes back to sheer jealiously because the kids appricate all of things that you do for them, the only reason why they like to shot us down in flames is because they didn't think of it themsleves. And maybe because the father has finally moved on with his life and has replaced her I know that this is fact in my case because she stated to me that she loves my husband more then she loves her new one...... |
5/13/2007 |
| Denise Burks |
Kazoodle this: When is it appropriate to have a family wedding ring?
Almost ten years ago I moved to the suburbs of Chicago with my sparkling new husband. By design, we’ve made our home a couple of blocks from his ex-wife and their three children. We are responsible for the kids half of the time but we see our kids nearly every day for one reason or another.
Last spring my husband’s ex-wife got remarried. The day after the wedding one of our boys, age 14, wandered over to our house and showed me his new family wedding ring. Made of titanium and light as a feather, it has a wide band with the inscription "One Family One Love". I oohed and ahhed and told him that I thought the ring was very stylish.
"What do you think Dad is going to say?" he asked. He quickly added, " I’m not going to wear it!"
I wanted to say, "We let you out of our sights for 24 hours and you go marry a New Daddy! Bad Boy!"
But what I actually said was, "Dad might feel a little funny at first. You should just show him."
I stood at the top of the steps and watched my husband hold the ring up to the light. He looked terribly un-hip to me at that moment. He perched his glasses on his nose and read the inscription out loud. When he spoke he sounded like somebody’s grandpa. "One Family One Love. Well. Now. Well, now. Well, now that’s not really true. Is it? I know it would be simpler if you had just one family. But, Son, you’ve got two families! Two big ole beautiful messy families! And obviously, we both love you, tons!"
Then he gave the ring back.
"I’m not going to wear it!"
"Oh, I don’t mind if you wear it. I’m just saying that it’s not true," my husband said.
A few weeks later we got a midnight voice mail message from the New Step Daddy. It seems that our son was not wearing his family wedding ring on their family vacation. The vacation-wine-induced message made it clear that we were going to be held accountable for encouraging such insolence.
For weeks, I kept a digital copy of that voice message in my itunes files. But I finally decided that I couldn’t be trusted not to forward it to the CEO of the New Step Daddy’s firm or post it on YouTube with a funny moving caricature or worse, play it for our kids. So I dumped the file.
Since that voice mail message last summer, things have simmered down. But I’ve noticed that our older son, age 18, has now taken to wearing his family wedding ring when he is home from college.
My husband hasn’t said a word although I’m certain he has noticed.
Even more surprising I haven’t said a word, but I have been thinking.
I’ve been thinking about treating the kids to tattoos that say, "I love my Dad and my Step Mom, too."
|
3/22/2007 |
| Denise |
Gosh.
My husband's ex-wife has lived with her boyfriend for several years. Recently they were married. After the wedding, they left for their honeymoon and the three children (boys age 18 and 14, girl age 16) came to our home with beautiful titanium band rings with the engraving "One Family One Love" on the inside. When I was shown the rings I was sad for my husband.
You see, for the past nine years we have dedicated our lives to raising our kids. We are physically responsible for the children for 50% of the time, however, since we live within 3 blocks of their mother's home, we see the kids (especially the boys) virtually every day. My husband works out of our home and is very, very involved in the day to day activities of the kids.
We are very happy that the children's mother has a partner and they are both very committed to the children, also.
The problem lies in that these kids are, in our opinion, part of two complicated families (don't even get me started on all of the half/step aunts/uncles/siblings/grandparents). If the birth parent is MIA, it is a wonderful gesture.
The minute our 14 year old son walked into the house he showed me the ring. I told him that I thought that it was really cool and very stylish (all very true, by the way). I also told him that the "One Family One Love" isn't technically true. I laughingly told him that he is part of a bunch of mixed-up families. I also said in a more serious tone, I'm not sure how Dad will feel about that line, either. I told him I thought it might hurt Dad's feelings. Your Dad has committed his entire life and life-style to you.
The minute our 18 year old mentioned the ring he said, "Don't worry, I'm not going to wear it." I told him that it might hurt his Mom's feelings if he doesn't wear the ring and that I'm sure that his Dad will be cool with it, he just doesn't agree that you are part of ONE family.
In a seperate conversation, which I was unaware, my husband told his sons that "you can wear the rings if you like, but I just don't agree that you are part of ONE family."
Honestly, we were kind of done with the topic at that point. (As a sidebar, notice that without conferring, my husband and I were nearly identical in our response to the ring.)
On a recent holiday with his mother and new step-father, the 14 year old (the only kid on the trip) was not wearing his ring. When they asked him "why not" and "where is it", he replied, "Dad and Denise (me) don't want me to wear it."
The new step-father called my husband at 10:30 that night . Thankfully voice mail intercepted. He left a several minute message (20% of the words in the message were F____, so just imagine the tone). He is very upset about our lack of support of the ring concept.
Since receiving the message we have yet to speak to anyone to help settle things down. I imagine we will need a professional mediator.
So, this is my point. I would recommend that any family contemplating this kind of symbol keep the focus on how this will make the child's life better. When we are in the midst of the passion and warm feelings of a new marriage what seems like a wonderful idea can backfire.
In our situation there is significant underlying hostility and ideally I want to do everything I can to keep things civil. I want to avoid any possible triggers going forward, if possible. This ring/symbol simply backfired on everyone.
|
7/5/2006 |
|
