| Name |
Views and Comments | Date |
| Danielle |
Dear Esther,
I read your email and felt a burden for your precious soul. If this is still how you truly feel about life - and yourself, I hope to bring you some encouragement. As I read, I saw myself - a few years ago- thinking and feeling everything - and I mean everything - that you describe. I hated life. I hated myself. I hated that I felt trapped within my dysfunctional thoughts and wanted to "get out of myself" - but didn't know how. I envied everyone around me who seemed to have it all together - who seemed to have friends - and a great personality -and knew how to fit into this world - unlike me. Why didn't I fit in? What made me so different from everyone else. What was God thinking to make me so ... awkward, backward, unacceptable to "the world"? Why did He bother? Did I have a purpose and I just wasn't getting it? And even in all these feelings, I was/am a Christian - who believes that Jesus Christ died on a cross for my sinfulness, who loves me more than i'll truly ever know, who says in His Word - the Bible - that I matter because of Him. But, I was listening to lies - lies from the Enemy - from Satan the devil - who got into my Mind - where every thought, behavior, and feeling first begins, to tell me that I don't matter, that God doesn't love me, need me, that I am a waste of His time - which only brought confusion, discouragement, despair and deception. It is when I gave back my thought process to God, He illuminated the darkest part of my mind and heart and reminded me that I was listening to lies. And He then replaced those lies with HIs truth. And He told me that I am no different at all from "the world" - we all feel these thoughts - of discouragement, insecurity, lonliness, etc. - some more than others - but again, Satan wants us to feel we are alone and noone else can possibly understand or feel what we feel. But I want to tell you, precious Esther - which, by the way, your name means "hidden" - you are not alone and there is a God - the only God, who sees you and knows you intimately, and loves you enough to send His Son, Jesus, to die for you - so you could live forever - not just in Heaven someday, but now - really live, now on this earth, with the Holy Spirit dwelling inside your heart - illuminating your soul with joy, peace, truth, love, and hope - I know, beacuse I used to be where you are - and I am living the abundant life now. I will pray for you, Esther, that you can read the Bible and find His truth - written for you, just as much as for anyone else in this world! Read Psalm 139, John 3:16, Jeremiah 31:3-4, Zephaniah 3:17 - and feel the love that Jesus and God have for you! And find a pastor to talk with - because there is sooo much for you than this "life" you are trying to live. Noone can live it without Jesus - that's the bottom line - whether you choose to believe it or not, that is the Truth! And by the way, your name Esther, which means hidden, doesn't mean hidden from God - He sees you! Every minute of every day! And the Esther of the Bible was a young Jewish girl who thought she wasn't much of anything - until one day God used her - to save her Jewish people - His people! She had purpose - and so do you - I promise!
Be blessed - hang in there - God will answer if you call His name - because He loves you and came to give you abundant life! |
6/27/2008 |
| Rene'e |
i love it / would like to chat with her / i share the same feelings but am quite older so i'm a little taken aback by her age (17 yrs) so young to feel life is meaningless...hasnt experienced much of life i'm sure ....God Bless You |
10/11/2006 |
|
