| Name |
Views and Comments | Date |
| Wife and Mom |
This helped me tremendously! I was able to compare myself to your story and realize this was true about myself! Thank you! |
7/29/2009 |
| Allah's servant |
Thank you for sharing you story. The more I think about it, the more I realize how many people are in pain because of their emotional and mental approach to things, people, and feelings. It is encouraging to see/know of courageous individuals who defeat the victim mentality and are able to finaly be (as this is the original purpose for our existence)
may blessings and prayers to you and your love ones, also for those who are struggling to come out of their prison and be free |
5/23/2009 |
| Herth |
this real life experience and wisdom that was gained from it has opened my eyes to things in my own life. Not so much in my life at home in the real world which is great. But opened my eyes to those arounds me in the virtual world. |
3/16/2009 |
| Catherine |
I like your article but I disagree about your definition of empathy. Empathy is the ability to look at another person objectively and understand or relate to them. Sympathy is when you feel sorry for someone else. When you empathize you are able to emotionally relate to others. |
3/12/2009 |
| debbie |
I agree with a lot of this article, except for the part on empathy. I tried for many years to deal with my captivity and rape that lasted 8 years by myself. I thought seeking help from my friends and understanding, or "empathy" was the hallmark of a victim mentality. I struggled with drugs and alcohol, to make my symptoms so I could appear "normal" to those around me and strong. However, when I met friends that truly cared and showed sympathy, it was like a wall had been lifted and I could finally face my demons. Empathy plays a major role in recovery for a lot of people. Maybe some play the victim card as you say, but showing empathy towards someone who truly needs it can help them tremendously on their path to recovery. |
2/19/2009 |
| Ichimonji10 |
Utterly awesome. Thank you.
I know a friend who has the perfect victim mentality, and this really gives me a way to help her out. I've been listening to her complain about all her problems for about 3 months now, all the while giving her tidbits of advice, sympathy, and hugs.
I finally realized what was wrong today, and I'm tired of feeding into her self-destructive mentality. This has helped me understand her, and I'm going to do my best with this new understanding. Maybe I can be that "wise old woman"... |
1/9/2009 |
| Alexis |
Thank you for sharing your story Heidrun. The things you are saying mean a lot to me, and im sure they will help me to get out the victim mode myself. Wish you all the best on your journey. |
3/23/2008 |
| Lindy |
Thank You so much for this post you speak from the heart and so much of this rings so true I am now on my way to be a much better person,again thank you so much! |
3/19/2008 |
| Mary |
Good luck for the future, Heidrun. Thank you for sharing your story. Very positive. |
1/22/2008 |
| Elizabethann Ly |
Thank you so much for sharing this - wow - what insight - Thank you. |
1/16/2008 |
| Matt Hoyle |
Heidrun,
I'm so glad you have reached the place you have in your life. I've struggled with depression over my life, and a few years ago I (fortunately) reached many of the conclusions that you have. (That the problem was ME. MY thinking, MY perceptions--not the outside world.)
It's about the most empowering feeling and realization I know of. And yes--self-pity is the path to darkness and victimhood.
Thanks for sharing your story. |
11/18/2007 |
| SueK |
Great article - very relatable to people. would of love to know about the tools she used to overcome this. |
8/31/2007 |
| Joe |
Excellent article. |
8/19/2007 |
| Scott |
thanks Heidrun , an interesting read :O) |
7/26/2007 |
| Donna |
Thank you for writing so y about yourself I really appreciate it. |
7/4/2007 |
| Joe Rousseau |
Dear Heidrun,
Thanks for your article on Victim Mentality and self pity. I was seeking help to better understand my wife who seems to have this kind of thinking. I'm realizing that I have it too to an extent. I really appreciate your insights and transparency. They've been very helpful. |
1/31/2007 |
| lynda |
well done- a good positive message and about the most helpful about 'victim mentality' -thanks |
9/11/2006 |
| Pat |
Thanks for the story. I hope I can use it as a springboard to cure my own victim mentality. |
8/16/2006 |
| Heidrun |
I can understand what your going through. There is no bigger poison for ones soul then to be surrounded (or living with) people that have a negative attitude towards life. I really dont have any advice that I am sure would work for you, but I think you could make things more easier for yourself by thinking positive 24/7. That is when your mother is negative and you feel it get to you, then cover it up in your mind with your own positive view. If you counter every negative thing your mother says or does with your own positive thought in your mind, then I am sure things will automatically be easier to you. There is a positive side on EVERYTHING if look hard enough, and that should be the basis of your own positive thoughts, to see always the positive side on everything, no matter how insignificant it seems. Positivity is negativitys arch enemy. |
8/16/2006 |
| Dotti |
Very good article. Thanks.
I was google searching for "victim mentality...how to live with someone who has that way of thought (my mother), and I ran into your site.
Any suggestions on how to handle living with someone who has a strong victim mentality, 24/7, without having it influence you in a toxic way?
I am normally the top list of what you wrote, but lately I find myself becoming more negative, being surrounded by that behavior.
Mother is 85, has degenerative eye seeing problems, lost father eight years ago. I essentially take care of her, although I live in her home. I pray and hope to be out by next year.
Seems I've turned into her grumbling angry sound board.
Any suggestions would be helpful.
Thanks,
|
8/16/2006 |
| T |
Thank you for sharing your experience. It made me realise what I was really doing, not only to myself, but also to the people I love. Your article helped me give myself a second chance in life. |
8/12/2006 |
