Your Teenager's First Date: How Should You Deal With It?

What parent doesn’t eventually hear their teenager say; "I’m going to be going on a date Friday evening." At some point, everybody’s child grows old enough to start showing interest in the opposite sex, and that inevitably leads up to the first date. Plenty of parents see this as an exciting and happy moment, making sure to take plenty of pictures and shower their child in almost embarrassing excitement, but many others see this as a scary or worrisome experience. – Of course, the latter is sad, because the first date does not have to be a bad thing at all. So how far exactly do you get yourself involved into your teen’s dating life and what action do you take in regard to their first date? There are plenty of different opinion on this, but I think we can all agree that we should never hide our children away from living, and when the world of dating finally comes around to your child, we must to a certain extent, embrace it.

The most usual dilemma for a parent is feeling unsure as of what role they should take in the dating life of their teenager. You have two choices – you can be the "best friend," supporting their exploration into the world of dating, or you can take a stance of being protective, enforcing your own rules to ensure their safety. Which is the right answer? Actually, both are needed. Teenagers need both of these roles due to their unique circumstances, and as a parent, it is going to be up to you to play this balancing game. Since they are still young, teens do not yet have the ability to completely utilize reasoning. They aren’t on par with the adult ability to think in terms of their future, and this is completely natural. On the other hand, their increased chances of making mistakes is partially because of their limited life experience, and the only way to solve this is for them to actually have experiences form which to draw wisdom.

The fact is that all teenagers make mistakes. As a parent, you must allow your child to have enough room to learn on their own. You see, teenagers are at a time where they are learning about the world around them at an incredible rate. Some lessons, however, can only be learned by doing things wrong, and making mistakes is a very valuable way for teenagers to learn and grow up into more mature, well-adapted adults. If you are over-protective of your child during these years, they will have a hard time coping once they leave your protection. They will have to make mistakes to learn, but won’t have your protection to make it easier. So you need to allow them to really live life while they are still under your guardianship, ensuring that the mistakes they do make, you will be able to control and steer back toward the right path.

Does this mean that you should give them free reign and no rules? Of course not! We have already established that a teenager does not have the logical mind or mental capacity for reasoning that an adult has, meaning that if they are left to their own devices completely, you can almost guarantee that they will probably get in over their head. The key is to find the perfect balance between maintaining an active and positive role in your teen’s dating life, and staying out of it enough to not be overbearing or overprotective. Make sure you meet whomever they are planning to go out with, and even go out of your way to ask about them and what they might be up to. – By showing an active interest in the people your teenager cares about, you are showing that you are not looking down on them and are interested yourself in the people that have such a huge influence on them.

Teenage dating does not have to be something big or scary, and is actually an exciting new adventure for you and your child! Ask your child questions about their date, fun questions, like what they find most attractive about them, or what their favorite hobbies are. – Questions that will instill a sense of bonding and trust in your teen that you aren’t there to be the parental police unit. Of course, make sure not to take this too far, and let your child know that you’re still the parent and still in control. – By striking this perfect balance, you are ensuring that your child will have the safe and enjoyable dating experience growing up that we all should be able to look back fondly upon.