Your Knee-Jerk Reaction Can Cause Stress

Don’t live your life in De-Stress Default. "De-Stress Default" is our normal, knee-jerk reaction when things go wrong. When a child spills milk, our knee-jerk reaction is to become angry. When the boss yells at us, our knee-jerk reaction is to respond negatively or think negatively. When something stressful happens, we tend to become more stressed. Stress is contagious.
With our already hectic lifestyles, there are simple ways to avoid the de-stress default trap. We don’t have to allow our stress thermostat to simmer or come to a boil when we come into contact with stressful people or events. We can respond positively.

Here are two simple steps to avoid the de-stress default trap:

One: Breathe

Every time you encounter a stressful person or event, take five deep breaths before you respond. Breathe deeply; exhale slowly. Taking five deep breaths provides us time to prepare a thoughtful response to replace a knee-jerk reaction. Taking five deep breaths calms us and provides our brains with oxygen to think clearly and creatively.

Be proactive. Take five deep breaths when you first wake up, and take five deep breaths before you fall asleep. Take five deep breaths before you answer a telephone call from a stress-instigating family member or co-worker.

Two: Cultivate Your Emotional Intelligence

Dozens of studies find that negative emotions can be contagious, at home or in the workplace. Negatives can be a chief instigator of De- Stress Default.

Don’t look at an unhappy or stressful event or person as a negative, but as a positive in terms of the "emotional intelligence" you can learn to use to stave off de-stress default. Emotional intelligence defines your ability to gauge and act on another person’s emotional reactions.

If you recognize that your boss usually is in a bad mood on Monday mornings, you have equipped yourself with the emotional intelligence to pro-actively avoid meetings (or better navigate your way through conversations that you can’t avoid) with that person during those time periods.

If your children are accident-prone (and most children are accident-prone), use your emotional intelligence to accept and anticipate that accidents will happen. You’ll be less inclined to become angry.

Instead, you can pro-actively plan to be a role model for patience and a helpful teacher in showing how your children can how to avoid accidents. You can also become a role model for forgiveness.

If you tend to panic on deadline, use your emotional intelligence about yourself to create more time to start your projects well in advance of deadlines.

Use and cultivate your emotional intelligence. It can be a powerful tool to help you avoid the De-Stress Default trap, trim down your fast-paced lifestyle, and add some reasonableness to your coping mechanisms.