You, Me, Death and All His Friends Equals Love - 12 (Final Chapter)

I am so sorry for not posting... :l
I needed a break plus school started in a such rush. Plus a lot of stuff has happened. :) But I have really missed reading your comments and writing stories for this website. S please enjoy this final chapter...I tried my best to really make it worth such a very long wait.
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Chapter 12-Kerry's Wish

It's scary how much we choose to love someone. Alexis had her secret and I had mine. Kerry was my big brother. He would tell me anything. Especially after I noticed how much he would stare at Jude. Jude was a cute boy. He had many hair colors but the one he looked best with, was his beautiful orange hair. He was in loved with Alexis at first sight. He said, that's my sister. He would always be cuddling her. Every time I look at the picture, it makes me cry because he had fifty freckles that we counted together one day in the summer. Kerry would always want to play with us. Sometimes, it is best to lie because we don't want other people know the truth yet. My parents didn't like homosexuals. They thought it was an act against all moral justice or something like that. So I can see why Kerry ran away that day. He was scared that Jude's mom would call home. He ran so fast, I bet. He didn't know what was going down. They had this secret relationship where Jude would always be with other boys. Kerry never got jealous but he feared that Jude would find someone with confidence. One he could take to the beach and make out with past curfew. Invite over to dinner, parties and sleepovers with the ability to kiss among others. So yes, Kerry chose to hide his love.

As I look at Alexis' small frame hiding under my blue green bed sheets, I sigh. She is beautiful. No doubt about it. Have you ever loved someone so much that even when they're angry at you or if they're having a bad day, you can just look at them say, "I love you." A smile crept its way upon my face. It scared me because I wasn't supposed to be gloating about the love one next to me. I shouldn't be rubbing it in Kerry's face that his lover's sister is my girlfriend. I pulled Alexis over to me. I don't want her far away from me. The way I pulled her over should have woken her up but nope, she snored lightly with a straight face. I wonder if she is dreaming. I wonder if I am turning crazy. I don't know what I am doing but I find myself shaking her awake. It's too late to stop shaking her and yo think about what I am about to do. She groaned and turned around to face me.

"It's so dark in here." She yawns and turns back over. She is probably trying to fall back asleep but that's when I see her rise from the bed. I watch her disappear into the hall.

"Hey, Devin, let the girl get some sleep." My mom laughed from behind my door. "I know her sleeping must be forever to you but she is tired."

"Where did she go?" I sat up.

"Bathroom. Anyway, I am going to bed. Work in the morning." She closed the door for me and left. I could hear double footsteps against the floor. I watched as Alexis moved back into the bed.

"Have fun?" I smiled at her as she made her way back into my arms. She felt cold.

"It's snowing." She has a sad smile on. "I wonder what my parents are doing right now."

"Do you want to go home?" I asked her, fearing the answer.

"I don't know. I am too scared to go back and face what is going to happen."

"Well, I think you should go home and face what lays ahead. But let me just hold you some more before the morning comes." I held her tighter than I have ever done before. Next thing I know Kerry opens the bedroom. I can tell because I smell him dressed in those over cologne shirts of his.

"Can we go to see Jude's grave?" He whispers to us in the dark.

"Why?"

"I'll explain everything in the car." Kerry looks at me with haunting eyes. I nod my head and get up.

"Come on, Alexis." I smiled at her to reassure her and then she got up.

~Alexis' POV~

I am sitting here in Kerry's car watching the snow fall. My life has gotten so confusing. One moment, I am reliving death. Next, I am in a hospital bed. I don't know where to turn to. Now we're on a mission to mend Kerry's heart. I watch as the car stops in front of my house. I am scared as I see the light coming from the living room and my bedroom windows.

"Devin and I need to be alone. Think you can handle your situation?"

I dug out my keys. Once I closed my house door behind me, Kerry's car disappeared into the dark. I looked at the sofa. I saw the top of my dad's head. The ruffs of his thin hair. I lightly drop my bag by the sofa. My dad looks up at me. I see the photo album he is holding in his lap. I look down at him and then the photos. There are so many of them cramped into one album. It is mostly of Jude and me when we were young. I sit next to my father. I didn't know what to say expect nothing.

"Jude loved to dance." My father points at Jude in a leotard. "He had upper body strength so he worked on all the beams. Your mother and I always knew something was different about Jude. Maybe not that he was like that but that he had more spirit in him. He had the body for dancing not for basketball. He was short and when your mother signed him up for basketball, he sat on the bench for most of the season. Until he met Devin. Devin showed us that Jude could play basketball. Really good for a kid of his height. He dribbled the ball better than anyone. His jump shots were as high as the taller kids. Though, was it really what Jude wanted? Did he want to finish school to go on to college to just play basketball?"

"Life is full of good choices and bad choices. Mom made a bad choice. In that moment, she was selfish. She wanted him to be perfect and right. She wanted him to be more like Devin. Tall, cute and a boy who liked girls. There are a lot of people in the world who would have been just as upset like mom but they wouldn't kill their son because of it."

"Your mom turned herself in after explaining everything to me. There is going to be a trial and such. She could get life in jail without any chances of getting out." He looked me in the eye. "Alexis, I love you so much. I really do. I never wanted any of this to happen. I miss when you two were young and use to run around this big house. I feel that the best thing to do is to move out this house. Too much bad memories. It would do Jude some justice if we didn't live in here and constantly remember all the things that went wrong."

"You're right." I smiled. "It is what Jude would want. He was such a great kid."

~ A Few Months Later~

My father decided to move away from the water. He decided to move into a more populated family area of town. My new room was better than my old room. For one, I got say what colors to paint it and what stuff I wanted in it. My father was home more and the kids on the block love him. He helps out with the three single moms. He shows their sons and daughters a father figure. I would admire them from my bedroom room. Only tonight Johnny was throwing a party. Amy raced up the stairs and barged into my room. She had her radio and a bunch of clothes.

"I am so going to doll myself up for Johnny tonight!" She smiled and blew her hair from her face. "I heard Linden went to jail over what he did to Devin. Unlike Jude's murder, no one seems to care that Linden went to jail. I think it's very funny."

"Jude's death turned people sour." I shrugged and sat on my bed. "What's the radio for?" I didn't feel like talking about Jude right now.

"For entertainment purposes." Amy presses play and the room begins to fill with music. She begins to dance. "I think I am going to rock some jeans tonight. How about you?"

"I found a pair of ripped jeans that I haven't worn in over a year. They have this nice design to it. Also, I have this off-shoulder top that I haven't worn in ages. I am in the mood for something out of wack."

"Either way, Devin will just drool all over you." Amy winks and laughs. "Alright, let's hurry up before Johnny gets here and has a tantrum. He is really excited for this party."

We quickly fixed ourselves into our outfits and we helped each other apply some light makeup. I smiled as I slipped on my jacket and linked my arm with Amy's.

"If Jude were here, he would say, you girls look like models." Amy giggled.

"And then he would take millions of pictures of us as if we're going to prom or graduation." I shook my head and smiled.

"But he meant well. He always did. That's why tonight we're going to get drunk and party so hard just for him."

"I agree with you but just not on the getting drunk part." I winked. "I rather like for you and Johnny to keep the few brain cells you both have." I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Whatever." She smiled and began tugging me down the stairs. "Let's hurry up. I need to party like no tomorrow right now or else!"

I shouted out a goodbye to my dad as we passed him and his friends in the living room. When we made out to the car, Johnny ran up to both us and picked us up. He hugged us tightly and swung us around. Then he placed us back on the ground and smiled at us.

"Don't you two just look so sexy tonight." Devin grins at us.

"Well, we aren't even sexy anymore. Not even as much as gorgeous because this idiot messed our hair up!"

"Amy, it's going to get even more messed by the end of the night away, if you know what I mean." Johnny winked. Amy slapped his arm really hard and made her way into the front seat.

"If you don't act right, her hair might just stay the same way it is right now, if you know what I mean." Devin mocked.

Johnny shook his head and said, "It was just a joke. But let's go before I get murdered before we even get back to my place."

Devin hold the door open for me and smiled. Once I moved over and put my seat belt on, Devin joined me in the back. I smiled shyly at him and he blushed.

"Your new house is really nice. Someday, you have to give me a tour." He reached for my hand. I played with his thumb. "You're wearing red."

"Yes, your favorite color." I played with the buttons on his shirt. "And you're wearing blue."

"This is the shirt Jude gave to me for my birthday. He said it would look good on me."

"Well, he was right." I smirked. "It looks very good on you."

When we pulled up to Johnny's house, people were already in one section of the house drinking and dancing amongst everything. Johnny was so proud of himself. He had snacks out and cold beverages. People who hasn't really talked to me or Devin came up to us. A girl asked Devin to dance and I said it was okay. He smiled at me as he was pulled away by the girl. I walked off a bit to the side. I watched as Amy and Johnny danced and everyone else around them cheering and dancing as well. Some girls were stuffing their mouths with pretzels and chips by the snack tables. They were talking and were obviously trying to avoid looking at the beers in the cooler. Though the group of guys that they had come to party with were chugging beer after beer. I began to wonder who was driving all these guys home as well as the girls since the boys wouldn't even be allowed to drive. I didn't know my hand had even grasped a cold beer from the cooler. I opened the top and began to chug it down. It felt cold but as went to my stomach it stung. I coughed a bit and licked my lips. I like the feeling of it.

"That's nothing." Some dude sneaks up behind me. "Here try this." His face is covered by his hood and before I can decline he pours a white liquid into one of the plastic cups. He shoves into my hands.

When I sipped it, it didn't taste as bad as the beer. It was warm but it went down easy. The dude smiles at me and offers me more. We go out to the back porch and he keeps offering. When I burp, he laughs instead of getting grossed out.

"You're Jude's sister right?" He asked, his eyebrows raised. "Did you know he use to drink this stuff?"

"He did?" I began to drink more from my cup. "He never did much bad stuff. I know he did like to drink at parties just because it was there."

"Yeah," the guy nodded, "only he was special. He could hold his liquor. He never once got drunk. It was amazing. Too bad he killed himself."

"He didn't really kill himself." I rubbed my head and giggled. "He didn't kill himself."

"I know that already." Kerry pulls his hood off. "I loved Jude. It angers me that I didn't get the chance to say that sooner. You have to show Devin that you love him. Or at least tell him."

"We're a party..."I began to chug more. "How am I supposed to tell him? He's so busy with basketball games and making new friends."

"Yeah but you're still his girlfriend. He treats you different from everyone else. And I know for a fact that he loves you just as much as you love him. Make up an excuse for him to take you home." Kerry grins and gets up. "I am going out to get more beer. It's a beautiful night and I think I might just have found someone new. Remember, moving on is what Jude would want."

I walk back into the party and find Johnny and Devin talking. I walk up to them and smile.

"Johnny, your party is really great and everyone is going to be talking about it for years to come but I don't really feel good." I frowned. "I am so sorry. Tell Amy I will talk to her tomorrow!"

"Yeah Johnny, she's right. This party was great. I am going to take her home. Alright?" Devin waved bye to Johnny and to few other people in the tight crowd.

When we get far away from the party, the quietness of streets burned my ears. The soft wind blowing in from the crack of my window. I felt so happy to have Devin's fingers linked with mine. At almost every red light, he would smile at me and give me this sloppy boy girn of his. I'd smile back and that's when a beautiful song began to fill the car.

"I remember this song." Devin chuckled. "Almost everyone knows this song."

"It's a stupid song to me. The chrous is just a repetition of the word hallelujah. It gets annoying." I shook my head.

"Oh please." He turned left and smiled. "Would you like to come over? My parents wouldn't mind. Plus, I don't think your dad is expecting you back anytime soon, right?"

"I don't think he would." I grinned. "But I can't stay too late. I actually have to go home tonight. No more disappearing into the night for me."

"Good," he nodded, "it's not good for such a pretty girl like you to be stalking the streets by yourself. Something bad could happen to you and I would end up jail."

"Oh Devin, shut up, and let's go inside!" We both laughed as we hopped out of the car.

We didn't really do much when we got up to his bedroom. I put on some soft music and sat down on his bed. I pushed off my shoes. First the left one and then the right. I lightly pull a purple scrunchie off my wrist and tie my hair back. I tug off my jacket and rest it next to my shoes. I pull the covers off the bed and Devin slips in next to me. I snap the covers in the air and let it go. I wiggle my toes as I wait for the warm blanket to hit us both. I began to close my eyes and think about all the times we have done this. As soon as the cover lands on us, Devin wraps his arms around me and pulls me close. He breathes in the smell of my shampoo. The one he especially likes to smell off me.

"We haven't really done this in a long time..." He whispers. The darkness begans to circle around us.

"I know exactly how you feel." When my mouth turned into a big teeth showing grin, my hand covered it.

"I don't want to tell you this or to kill this special moment but I wanted to make something clear." Devin's words are so serious.

"Well, what is this something?"

"You remember how we almost drowned in the water by the broadwalk?" He asks.

"Yes," I begin to playfully rub my feet against his.

"They put up a metal railing. The space between each bar is very narrow. No one can ever fall into that water unless the broadwalk suddenly collapses or if someone jumps into the water. Do you know why they built it? This boy named Zack was riding his bike one day. He was a beginner and his mother told him to be careful. She looked for away for a second. In that second, Zack lost his balance and he fell over. He rolled over without knowing that the water was right there. He tried to reach for the rope. But his tiny fingers couldn't hold himself. So he fell and hit his head. He fell into the cold water. His mother screamed for someone to help. But no one was brave enough. Zack drowned to death." I began to feel something wet hit my shirt. Tears? Devin's crying?

"How was he?" My voice quivered.

"He was six years old. He had just lost his daddy to a long battle of cancer. He wanted to show his daddy all the way up in heaven that he would learn to ride that bike even if it killed him." Devin begins to sob. "What am I trying to say is, why does it have to be death for a person to really realize how much they love a person?"

"I wonder the same thing..." Tears began to fall from my eyes. I am crying because Devin's crying and because of this sad story.

"Why do people wait until the person dies to feel this strong feeling called love? Why do we need death to finalize our feelings? I don't want to die and not let you know what I am feeling. And I don't want to die without at least hearing how you feel about me from your lips."

"Devin, I can't tell what it is. But I can tell you what it feels like. It feels like a big part of me revolves around you. When I am with you, I feel like there is nothing better in the world. You and me together is the best thing to ever come about." I turn around to face him. "I love you, Devin. And there is no way you're going to die any time soon."

"And you, Alexis, better not leave me anything time soon either!" He buries his face into my shoudler. He mumbles something into my neck. His warm breath tickles my skin and I giggle a bit.

"What did you just say?" I wipe my eyes. The makeup Amy had applied was getting mixed up with my light tears.

"I said," Se gulps and I know this is the real Devin. Shy and so very, very sweet. "I love you too, Alexis."

I search for his mouth in the dark and give him a kiss. He kisses me back. Then suddenly, it feels incredibly warm under the covers.

"You and me will last forever." I whisper in his ear. "Just believe in it."

"Death and all his stupid friends can go away." Devin kisses me again. "Thanks for being my first love..."

"No, thank you for being my first love."