You, Me, Death and All His Friends Equals Love - 11

Sweeny- Yes, the suspense is really something. Especially since there are so many twists. This chapter might be confusing but just stick with it. Well you read back on everything, I guess you can say something is up. Maybe Jude didn't kill himself so just read this chapter and you'll see what I mean. The shooting won't be discussed until afterwards.

Naveah- =D I am glad you do. I have been working hard on it.

Chally- True, then Alexis would be some messed up girl. With the two best men in her life gone but just read to find out what happens.

Ruby :D- No it is not the end.

Katniss- Intense yes. I always love to have my readers waiting.

Amber- Yeah, so that is why I am posting this chapter up.
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Chapter 11 - Me

I felt something strong and I backed into a corner. I closed my eyes and so many things raced through my mind. I shouldn't have run back.

"But if you didn't then you wouldn't have been able to see what happened? My sister would have been unhappy. You'd keep lying to yourself. Look who really killed me." I opened my eyes. This is some dream because there is no way my brother is standing in front of me.

"What is the sun like in Heaven?" I asked, standing up weakly.

"Just how you described it." He grinned, reaching for my hand.

"You're wearing the same clothes from the day you died." I squeezed his hand.

"You're missing the point. There are so many people that killed me. Let's start with Devin. Did he do it?"

"No," I bit on my bottom lip. "Because I left him there sleeping. He wouldn't have, couldn't have. He loved you!"

"What is Junie?"

"Why her? You weren't the reason to take away the boy she liked."

"Tracy?"

"To hurt me, I doubt it. We were friends but she was leaving me for Junie!"

"Was it you? Did you want mom to stop suffering? The fact that your brother was scum to your mother?"

"NO! I never felt that way! Never! I loved you the way you were. I loved your smell."

"Was it dad?"

"Why do I have to guess? Just tell me!" I was crying. I already knew what happened but I was trying to forget.

"Because you already know. I'll replay it for you."

He disappeared and I leaned down on the floor. Images raced through my head. Of course I remember that day. I try to repress it because I thought it wasn't true but it was. It will forever be on my mind that day.
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"Hey, where are you going?" Devin smiled at me. "Running of, are you?"

I giggled and kissed him. "I have something for you. I'll be right back!"

"Fine but I am going to count the minutes that I will see your beautiful face again. For Juliet is the sun!"

I ran all the way home. Even though I almost tripped and busted my lip open, I kept running. I had bought this really neat sweater for him when my mother wasn't looking. I sneaked up the stairs and into my room. I grabbed the bag from inside of my closet. My heart bumped against my chest. I panted and sat down on my bed. That's when I heard something break. I looked up and Mick ran out of the room. He glanced me and waved quickly. I think I have been sitting here too long. Maybe I should get back to...

"You are an awful child." I heard. I sneak up to the door. I peaked in. What are they fighting about now?

"But it's not my fault! I was born this way."

"Not only do you be one, you bring one in my house. Into my life."

"Would you just listen to me for a second."

"Jude, we have to work out some agreement."

"No we can't! Come on, stop it, mom! You are scaring me."

"No, I am only trying to protect you from evil thoughts."

I heard a long slap. Jude made a mistake. Hitting mom made her turn into a fury rage. I heard her shove him. I opened the door wider to go in and stopped them. That's when I heard that loud bang. The same one from that time Linden shot Devin. That is why it was familiar. Because I was there. I watched my mother kill my brother. I watched with wide eyes. The present slipped from hands. I ran over to Jude and held his body.

"Wake up! Wake up! You aren't supposed to see the sun without me! You're supposed to wait with me."

"Alexis, this is what it-"

"No!" I made a run for the living room. "We have to call the police!"

But my mother pushed me down the stairs. Luckily I only bang my head and I grabbed the banister in time. My heart banged in fear and I swear it felt like I peed myself. I ran down the stairs forgetting about that precious gift. I ran back to Devin who was fully dressed now. As soon as I saw him, I ran into his arms.

"What's wrong?" He asked, rubbing my head.

"Nothing!" I took deep breaths. How do I tell him without hurting him?

"Yuck," He stepped back. I only grabbed for him again. "Hey I'll take you home and-"

"No!" I ran again. I don't know where to go. Devin ran after me.

"Hold on!" He huffed, grabbing my wrist. "Fine, we won't go home but don't run away from me. I am guessing your mom and Jude are fighting again? You can just go to my place. My mom has been dying to see you again."

"Fine."
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"Then you when you guys got back, you were even more tramuztisted. You thought it was a dream."

"He'll hate me." I rubbed my face.

"He'll hate himself for not figuring it out. You had blood on your shirt."

"Did Mick know?"

"Nope. Though now that you know, I can rest peacefully." He smiled and I reached for him. He held me and for a moment, I knew it wasn't real. "Now, run back to him like you did that day!"

When I ran out, I heard the door close. I just kept running until I got back to that place we were before. I watched as they carried him into the bus. I waved slightly but I don't think he saw. Instead of all this running, I took the bus. When I reached his house, I knocked on the door. His mother opened the door. She looked at the blood on my dress and she knew everything. She grabbed her car keys and me and raced out to the car. I would have started explaining but she talked first.

"It's called Spirit Calling." She whispered.

"Huh?"

"You have this look in your eye. You saw Jude didn't you? You went to confront the problem."

"Yeah."

"Well, it's called Spirit Calling. Meaning you brought Jude to your dreams. You closed your mind and wished for him. In your head, your problem was solved. Does your head hurt?"

"Yeah and my arm too."

"Yep. Trust me, most people think it is just remembering but from where I come from, we call it Spirit Watching. Now what trouble has this boy gotten into?"

"You seem so calm while I am here about to cry." I took deep breaths and cradled my throbbing arm.

"It's probably broken and because if I am crying and beating on the doctors, how will my son ever get better?"

"You're an amazing mom, better than mine."

"You didn't have to stick up for her but she threatened you. Kept you away from here. I don't think Devin remembers that part. That was until school started and you two saw each other. I guess that thingly feeling came back and everything resurfaced. Maybe now, you two can move on."

"After I tell him the truth? What if he hates me afterwards?"

"If he really loves you, he'll accept the truth."

I could hear a smile behind those words. I let a smile slip.

I never liked hospitals. They are too open and loud. They smell like death and dry tears. They had taken Jude here for one of those exams. I forgot what they are called but I'll make sure to ask someone before we leave. That is if Devin gets sent to one.

"Hey you!" I have never heard the most brightest voice in my life.

Devin smiled at his mom and waved at me. This dude that was sitting on the floor complaining about how much it hurts, is just laying there with a sloppy grin on his face. I forced myself not to run into his arms. I decided to leave the room. A nurse sees me and takes me to an examination room.

"Well it is broken? What did someone throw you up a wall?" I want to look her in the eye and say, "Yeah, you can say that."

She wiped the scratches with some kind of medicine that stung. I watched as she gave me something to swallow and then she wrapped my arm. I never did her answer her question. She gave a form and said to give that to front desk on my way out. I was going to go home but Devin mom's came out looking for me. She rubbed my arm and smiled at me.

"Don't be afraid. He's fine. Just a few stitches. He'll be back to normal within a few days. The bullet barely touched him."

I nodded and she watched me to see if I were going down the hall. When I went past his room, he was trying to sit up.

"Maybe you shouldn't do that. It looks painful." I leaned in the doorway, playing with roughness of my cast. She never did say when I could come back.

"Cause it is." He tried to laugh but decided against it. "So why are you hiding? Come here. You took forever to come back. It hurt so much. My mom is being modest. She says it's just a few stitches when in reality it is like more than that. I had a little procedure to get those stiches. I was about to ask to see the bullet. That would have been cool." He chuckled softly and looked up at me. "How come you're crying? I am not dead yet. And would you just come here or I'll have to hurt myself trying to get you here."

I had not know I was crying. I quickly reached for my face as I walked over to him. I never knew until know how tired I really am. He pulled me into his lap and kissed my face.

"What's wrong?" He whispered. "You gonna have to tell me sooner or later. And I am not letting you leave until you tell me."

"Remember..." I bit my tongue.

"Fine, don't talk about it now. But are you okay? Your arm..."

"Oh, it doesn't hurt. I am not sure how I broke it."

"Kind of like that when you ran back to me and you had that bump on your head." He laughed. "What was your excuse again?"

"My mother pushed me down the stairs." I played with his fingers.

"Hmm, I am pretty sure that's not what you said. Why would she push down the stairs?" He made me look at him.

"I don't know." I buried my face into his neck.

I don't know for how long I cried but I did. Nobody ever came in and Devin shifted a little so I was lying next to him. He played with my hair and whispered reassuring things to me. I did not want to sleep but I was exhausted. Before I closed my eyes, I kissed him. He was going to kiss me back but I guess I had fallen asleep because I never felt his lips.
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The sun shone on us when morning came. I sat up and I noticed Devin was already up. I kissed him on the cheek. He smiled at me but it slowly disappeared.

"Are you going to tell me about what happened yesterday?" He looked at me.

"You have to promise to not hate me. I was young and I was so scared."

"Fine, just tell me."

I began from the beginning. And when I told him, I did not cry. My mind was running with memories of people that said sorry to my mother. People who hated Devin when it was my mother's fault. She loved Jude so much, she could kill him and lie about it. She made our lives hell for being together when she committed the biggest crime yet. Before I knew it, my voice sounded a slight bit angry while sad. Devin kind of slumps on his pillow. When the last word leaves my mouth, I feel like he is going to hit me and tell me to leave.

"You lied to me." Is the first sentence that leaves his mouth. "But then you didn't because you stuck by my side. You never cried with your mother. You obviously don't talk to her. I should have seen it when at his funeral, I thought you would have stayed with your parents and stop talking to me. But no, you ignored your mother and stayed close to me. Were you trying to make me guess it? And then you left. Why?"

"I didn't think you did it, obviously. I just left because I thought it better for you if I wasn't in the way."

"That's why you didn't testify..."

"She threw me down some stairs, Devin! I wasn't about to get back up and say I'm calling the police. I ran back to you hoping you could make it all a dream."

He laughed. "Do you realized how angry I am?"

"Figures, eh?"

"No, I am not mad at you. I am mad at this whole situation. Things might not go back to normal but I promise you, from here on, we're moving on. I mean after I see Tracy, Junie, your mother and Linden all throw into the back of a police car, handcuffed and locked behind prison doors with no key." Then he laughed again. "Trust me, I find that image very amusing. Now for you, I don't hate you either. I just wish you had told me. But whatever happened to Mick?"

"Who knows. I am not sure if he left or if he was even there." I struggled to get up and off the bed. "See you later."

"Wait, don't leave me just yet." He traced the blue veins in the palm of my hand. "Did you know that no matter what your skin color is, we have blue veins and red veins?"

I smiled and nodded. "I guess I knew that already."

"Just that, I have seen so matter people with the same blue vein. Jude use to have a small one right here," He ran a finger along hip bone. "Only it would go away sometimes go away then reappear. It was pretty neat because it pulsed."

"That's disgusting, Devin!" I pulled my hand away. "I am going home now."

"Wait, that's not what I wanted to tell you. It's just that I want you to promise me that you'll come back. I mean you want just start avoiding me again or something?"

I smiled at him and nodded. "I promise."

After that, I walked away. It felt kind of like that day when Jude died. Right after they had taken him away, I took a cold shower and climbed into my bed. That is what exactly happened. With wet hair and an broken arm and heart, I cried myself to sleep. Maybe this is just me. Nothing I can do about it right now. It's just...me.

~Devin's POV~

My mother stayed with me forever. I kind of hope Alexis would take a shower and come back. In fact, she has not been here since that night. On top of the fact that her scent lingers on me and that small space on the pillow where she slept that night. I use to dream about all sorts of things but this was different. A part of me felt uneasy. That big secret she kept to herself and now she convinced herself it happened. Now a different part of me says I should get up and find her. As painful as it was, I tugged on my jeans and shirt. Some stuff my mother left. I can't remember what she said but I swear it was about being prepared to go home. I pulled cap over my head and left through one of the private exits. It hurts to walk but it is worth it. I would die for her if it came to that. Heck, I almost did just a couple of nights ago. I yawned as I realized I had finally reached her house. Of course, I wonder if her mother even cared. Alexis would always said she loved Jude more. But why would she kill him? That makes no sense. Surprisingly, it doesn't take much of struggle to climb up to her bedroom window. Okay, I am lying. It was so painful but it was worth it. She probably won't find this romantic. Gotta to remind her she needs a baloney from the Skakpearen times to really act this out. I stick one leg in and then bounce the other way to get my left leg in.

"What are you going?" I almost jumped when I saw Alexis sitting on her bed.

"Geez! You scared me! What is your deal? I thought you said you wouldn't just start avoiding me or something. I mean cause it feels like you are slipping through my fingers again!" I didn't mean to yell at her but I was so sad.

She laid back down and pat the space next to her. I didn't want to but I couldn't help myself. I buried my face into her sweet hair.

"I wasn't avoiding. I was just relaxing. I am just tired."

She rubbed her feet against mine. I have always been a bit darker than her. She always knew I was different. How difficult it was to fit in. To be half of something and half of another. She never judged me. She was always there. I doubt she'll leave me because she had not left me at all. Before I knew it, she was snoring lightly. Her shirt was too big on her and her shoulder peered out. I kissed it and she snuggled against me. It took all my will power from attacking her sweet body. I traced her collarbone and noticed the dark bags under her eyes. She looks more than tired. She's exhausted. So exhausted, it looked like it took her strength to just lie back down. I closed my eyes and rested my head over hers. I embraced her body into mine until I finally fell asleep. I know my mom will worry but right now, my girlfriend needs me.
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When I woke up, Alexis was still asleep. Her body still pressed against mine, I felt better. I dragged myself to her kitchen and began to make her some dinner. A simple plate of box pasta with a cup of juice. She needed something sweet. I carried it up the stairs as best I could. Then kissed her face. The first one didn't work so I kissed on the lips. From that, she opened one eye at me.

"Are you hungry?" I ask her, with a smile.

She blinks at me and then she sits up. She is acting strange.

"Yes," She smiled at me. Yeah, that is the Alexis I know.

"Are you always this slow in the morning?"

"Just with you." She shrugged. "Something to wake up for but now that you are here, I don't have to rush."

I pass her the plate and she eats slowly. That is when I felt her push the fork at me.

"I am not really hungry to be honest."

"Why not?"

I could not find a reasonable answer that she would accept so I just take the fork. She smiled at me, knowing that she won me over once again. I did not mind though. I was getting to spend all this time with her. To be honest, I am not sure what day it is or if my mother is looking for me. Though, knowing her, she is not scared of anyone.

"What are you thinking about?"

I noticed she finished everything. She must have been very hungry.

"My mother..."

"Oh," She nodded like she understood and she probably did. "I am sure she knows where you are but doesn't want to bother you."

I try to think of the last thing she said to me. That's right. She never did really say anything to me. I just dragged myself here.

"Remember that time Jude was playing by the harbor. Your parents went off to get some ice cream. They left you with him."

"Of course I remember." She laughed.

"Then I showed up with my brother and mom. My mom was always telling me to slow down. She was such a neat freak at the time after becoming a nurse. She tried to make sure I didn't cut myself or get skin cancer." I smirked and she encouraged me to go on. "Then Jude and I were trying to find ways to throw you into water. I mean the water was shallow because of the fishermen diving. We got you to go to the edge. Just as we were about to push you, you grabbed on to my waist."

"And we both fell in." She giggled

"Yes, my mother screamed her lungs out. While your parents came back, your mother slapped Jude so hard, his lip bled. Little did we both knew, you couldn't swim. So not only did I have to keep my head above the water, I had to dive down to get you back up. And when I brought you up, you stole my first kiss. Remember? You said, I was your hero. I guess your mom didn't like that. Our mothers got into this big fight."

Alexis laughed and laughed. "I know right! Jude with a bloody lip, both of us wet and exhausted, they are too busy fighting about that childish kiss."

"Now you own me one. You have to my hero from drowning in a black abyss."

"What is that?"

"You are coming home with me."

After finally getting her dressed and outside, we held hands and walked home. I feared the worst but it was okay. It felt good to be home. I limped inside and my mom attacked me with hard hug.

"We have been so scared because of..." She stares at Alexis who looks all drugged out.

"She is juust hungry and tired. Maybe after some real food, she'll be back to normal." I explained, going to sit down on the couch. "I'll explain everything later."

"You know what honey? You need a real good bath and some good mothering."

I watched as my mother pull Alexis up the stairs. I rest my head on my brother's lap and take in a big breath and close my eyes.

"You love her that much? You rather lose everything for her? All this pain? She almost got you killed." Kerry says, rubbing my head. "I don't want to lose you too."

"Just like you didn't want to lose Jude."

It is the last thing that leaves mouth before I fall asleep but I could feel the tear drop before I do fall asleep.