You Don't Know How It Feels When I Look At You - 22 B

Chapter 22 B

It was unbelievable, just like a fairytale.
A current of electricity ran through my whole body. I could not figure out what actually is happening around. Everything seemed to be lost in the zero dimension.

JUSTIN KISSED ME!
So not possible!
But then, who was I fooling.
All things were taking place right in front of me!

He pressed his lips against mine, softly. I closed my eyes. I was still, I did not move even a single bit. I know I should have kissed him back but I didn't. How could one possibly do that! How could one possibly move?

His lips, they were so soft, and even though I didn't kiss him back, he kissed me as if he really meant it and that's what made me weak in the knees more than ever.

He parted to breathe. I kept my eyes closed.

"I didn't kiss him back" I thought.
DAMN!!

How I hated myself for being that stupid. But things did not go the way I thought them to be.

He kissed me again. He locked his lips in mine as if satisfying his long-lasting thirst for me. I wondered if it was just my illusion.

I could hear the people scream at the top of their voices- "Woah," "Woooooohooo..." And some of them even said- "Once more!!!"

He placed his hands around my waist, giving me goose bumps, kissed me passionately this time, as if he longed for that kiss, as if it was the only thing he wanted really badly.

I couldn't resist myself. His touch made me weak in the knees and it was then when everything came rushing to the surface. I took the opportunity.

I kissed him back.
I wanted him so badly.
I brought him more closer to me and this time the people screamed with more power.
I could feel his heat in me.
I could feel his heartbeat, beating abnormally.

It was true.
It was real.
I rolled my hands around his neck. His hands reached for my neck. He again kissed me back. I couldn't believe it.

Even if I would have parted, he wouldn't have stopped himself but then again, in reality, I too wouldn't have stopped him.

Our kiss became more passionate and we parted to breathe. I rested my forehead on his.

I could easily feel the nervousness in his breath. It felt so great.

He cupped my cheeks with both of his palms, this time very softly and kissed me as if I were the most delicate thing of this earth, most delicate thing of his heart.

I kept my eyes closed. His touch made me feel very different, very unique, very special. He then kissed really softly on both of my eyes which made me feel, in true sense, alive.

He again rested his forehead on mine and took my hands in his softly.
I could feel the heat of his body. I could feel his breath on my face. I just wanted to melt in him.

I could hear the applauds of the people but I didn't care of any of it, cuz the thing that mattered the most to me, was right in front of me, holding my hands, telling me how much do I mean to him.

It was the best day of my life and I hoped it to remain the same forever. I never wanted any of it to change but that's not how life works.
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Looking through my shining eyes, I breath in slowly, feeling complete solitude. Yes, today I got up early. And moreover, we had to reach home, but that was not the reason that made me so complete, so myself.
For once, I did not regret the day because I knew that the day was way different from before, way different from it could ever be.

The love of my life loved me back. What else in the world can be better than that.

I sat on the bench near the garden thinking about the last night.

"What will I say to him in case he shows up?" I asked myself.

Justin was a Casanova whom, I bet, every girl next door wanted to taste.
But till now, he was my best friend too.
How will I react? What exactly I would say to him?
I can't just talk to him straight away about the last night!
And moreover if I would try to push away the fact, then it would make the situation more worse. I would stutter and stumble at my words and that is for sure.

As I was fighting with my expected thoughts which took place in my mind, I realized that my hands were trembling.

I smiled.
I was hell nervous!
I was so nervous that even thinking about the fact made me feel so scared, scared in a good way.

I looked around.
To see if someone was watching me.
Then again I smiled to myself.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME!

But then, out of the blues, a picture appeared in my mind.
Amanda and Justin kissing together.

What if-
What if Justin leaves me just like he left her.
What if I am just his time-pass?
But in that case why would he kiss me?
No! He won't do that to me.
Am his best friend.
Can he do this?

My mood changed in a fraction of seconds.
Every moment filled with love, lust, adventure got converted to confusion, anxiety and sorrow.

In the meanwhile, when I was thinking about this, Justin showed up.

GREAT! NOW WHAT!
I never knew he could get up so early.

"Hey..." He stuttered a bit.
"Hey," I said softly.

He then sat beside me. Silence filled the atmosphere.

My mood was still off. I know because my thoughts generally mark my facial expressions, except in some cases when I try to act cool and believe me, this time, not a single thing worked.

I thought Justin read my expressions.
"You okay?" He asked, finally.

"Yeah," was my answer.

"Do you mean it?" He asked again, trying to swoop in my thoughts and making me more nervous!

A QUESTION OF IMPORTANCE!!

I looked at him. I wondered why he asked that.

"No," was the answer.
Then again silence.

"Ummm... about yesterday. I wanted to talk to you about yesterday." He said.

My heart started to beat as fast as it could. If he wouldn't have continued speaking, I would have got a heart attack.

"Livia, look I am sorry. I didn't mean to kiss you," he said.

CRASH! It felt like my car just got hit by huge rock! It felt like a suicide mission!

I stared at him.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING?" I wanted to rebuke at him but I didn't.

He was looking at the rising sun.
I was looking at him.
Surely, the surrounding felt romantic, but the conversation which was about to take place, it was miles away from what I imagined.

"I remember you once told me that your first kiss would be dedicated to the person you love. Am sorry, I screwed everything up. And to tell you truly, I never wanted to kiss you on the first place. And am sure that you also wanted the same thing. "

YOU REALLY THINK THAT!
ARE YOU EVEN HUMAN!
DO YOU EVEN THINK LIKE HUMAN!

Then again, staring at the rising sun, he continued-
"But then... I heard the crowd and I thought about my uncle and everything... and I don't know what happened to me after that, I just.... Livia, I don't know, am really very sorry. I never wanted to hurt your emotions. I would never do that."

"Oh yeah! Then tell me you idiot, what the hell are you doing right now."

"I just hope that whatever happened yesterday... I just hope that it doesn't change what we have between us... I hope it never changes our friendship."

I stopped looking at him, stared at the sun.
The sun was rising spreading its glowing light and lighting up everything wherever its light fell. But its light was not enough for the shadow which still existed in my heart, in my mind, in... me.

"It won't change anything Justin I promise." Was all I said before I went inside in the room which I was given for staying at night.
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When I opened up my eyes, I discovered that I was in my bed, in my home. I got up, and again the same old story followed.
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Flipping through the pages of my Physics book, I found myself wondering what exactly was I trying to do?
Homework?
Not an Issue!
I was thinking how many books like it are published in this world?
Question of importance!

I wanted to think anything apart from Justin and everything that made me think of him... so... Physics book.

What surprised me more was the question that followed after it, which was, how many souls on this very earth must be reading it.
Hardly few.
May be a lot!
The answer is either this side or that side but it doesn't really matter, not anymore!

I was so done with my work, so done with everything!
I need a break!
I mean, seriously, getting up at 5 O'clock in the morning, closing the alarm clock, again trenching myself to bed, coming to school, going back, having dinner, sleeping is seriously boring for any homosapien.
I looked around to see if Justin was there in the class.

NOWHERE IN THE SCENE!
NOT WHAT I EXPECTED!

Just as my mind, started thinking about him, yet again, I saw a face right in front of me.

"HEYA, oh don't, I know you missed me a lot. Don't be sensitive." He said.

I rolled my eyes but then looking at his cute face, I said, "How come you showed up before a week?"

"Oh don't joke around. I knew you were missing me and you were desperately wanting me to come back." He said.
Then taking a short pause, he again said-
"I can never let my admirers down. So, I came back. I know I have a big heart, no need to express it."

Just as I opened to speak up, the vibration of my cell phone made me have a look toward it. I haven't seen my cell phone since last night.
There were 979 missed calls of Justin which I ignored and only one text message.

It went like-
"Will b out of station for few days. Catch'ya later!"

"Go on! Enjoy ur lyf," this was my mind.
I was seriously angry at him.
I wanted to hit him hard on the face.
But right now, as it was impossible to do now, a taunting text message was the only alternative.

Just then the bell rang.

I looked at smiling Daniel.
"Who was that?" He asked.

"Nothing... Justin." I said while packing up my things.

I don't know if what I saw was true but I felt as if Daniel's smiling face changed to a firm and serious one.

"What happened?" I asked.
He looked at me and then said, "Nothing.. "

I stared at him.
He was staring GOD-KNOWS-WHAT.
"Are you okay," I asked again.

He looked at me.

"Yes I am," and he turned to walk out of the class.

I ran after him.

"Heyyyyyy... Daniel... seriously... what happened to you?" I asked while running after him.

He stopped.
As I was still trying to figure out the reason that was actually bugging him, he turned to look at me.

He then said-
"You don't know... anything."
And then he turned away to continue his walking.

I again ran after.
"Hey, wait, you can't just show me your back and walk away. What is that, that I don't know?" I screamed at him.

He turned to look at me.
Then looking straight in my eyes, he said something which made my heart skip a beat.

"You don't know how it feels when I look at you."
And after saying this, he went away and I, like a statue, stood standing there, wondering if he told the truth.
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Replies to comments of Chapter 21 A and 21 B:

Sorry if I missed anyone!
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There was a reader who told me that she was going to write her story and somehow the names of the characters in my story are related to her characters in her story in real life. Well, that was really unique.
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@SANJEEV: YES!I Do remember ya! And I prayed for you the day I read your comment. I hope you get her for the rest of your life and I hope she loves you more than you love her. And thank you so much! I hope I get the story published in a hard copy!

@ERICA: Okay, I deserve to get hit. M so very sorry. And seriously speaking, I can't really explain properly the real reason behind it. It has a very important and logical reason but I can't really explain that. Am so sorry, I hope you like the next chapter!

@ANAMIKA, XXDCXx, PRIYA: Well, Anamika, am continuing it now and I hope you really like it. You are always welcome to come up with your thoughts and criticism you feel for the story. And you are right, one should love the person only if HE/SHE understands the true meaning of love and if HE/She loves back. And yeah, Justin is surely a player boy for other girls but he almost stayed true to Livia.

XXDCXx and Oriya: No dear, I knew most of the people would have thought that they would meet Daniel in the party, but they don't actually meet there. There's no connection with the party and Daniel. Am sorry I made you all think the other way, but hey that's what is important for the story, RIGHT! And yes Priya it's not fair but who knows, the wrong thing may be right and the right thing may be wrong! Confused? Me Too! Well. Not really! Enjoy the next chapter!

@BIG Z, CHITH, SARA: You all like Daniel a lot! Don't ya! Haha that's nice! And BIG Z, don't worry! Daniel is your sweetheart, guy of your dreams right! So how can I make him confess his love for Livia?:D And am sooo soorrryyy, I posted after so long. I hope you forgive me.

@IREADALOT, LARA, MNH: MNH, oh am so sorry I didn't make them confess their love for each other! But hey! I made them Kiss! LARA, you really think any of them would be better! I do think like that! It's pretty hard to select the best one out of the two best things. It's like selecting a chocolate chip ice-cream with more chocolate out of two chocolate chip ice-creams. Ireadalot, I hope you like the next chapter.

@PAYAL, LEAH, ELISE. W, LAIDA, DEE, RAPINGURWALL, HAHA, AMY, DANDYLINE, AMIRA: I hope you all enjoy the next chapter and I know you all want Daniel and Livia to be together. And yes, of course you all hate Junstin!:D I wonder if Daniel would have existed in real life, would you still wish him to be with Livia?:D HAHA! Just kidding! Hope you all like the next chapter.

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Replies to comments of Chapter 22 A:

@ CHITH: Hey! Thanks a lot! And thank you yet again. I hope I do well in the next exam. And your second comment which went like 'I don't like Justin with livia'-it made me smile for a while cuz it felt like they exist in real life in your 'real life' and you hate Justin like anything:D Anyway, enjoy the next chapter.

@MJ: Umm... well hope you like this chapter.

@SARA K, SARA: Ahh! I'm so sorry dear! I will surely inform everybody in case I stop for a while. I don't know how to explain the things. They are so complicated. I know it would be better if I try to explain you all but, I don't know, I can't explain in words. And did you just say that you want Daniel and Livia together (well, I know most of the readers want that). Okay then, so be it! But before that, you need to wait a while. Things can't happen straight! Right!:D Anyway, enjoy the chapter!

@KATE: OH DEAR! Thanks a lot! I never thought I could be an inspiration to anyone. Thank you so much! And yes, I think criticism is equally important (makes us work wonders):D And thank you for admiring my work. I hope I write much better than that. Enjoy the next chapter!

@TIA: Aww! Don't feel sad for him honey! I assure you everything will get better and in case if it doesn't get, I assure you that at the end of the story, all the readers will be satisfied.

@KIMBERELY: Well, sorry I posted the next chapter after a week. Tell me what you felt about the chapter!

@DREI: Thank you so much! I really mean it and I'm sorry I made you miss it so much. Tell me what you feel about the next chapter. I really hope you like it.

@LUNA, LINCY, JESSICA T, EMMA, ELLIE, PAYAL: Aww! Thank you! That's sweet! I hope you all like the next chapter.
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You guys really make me feel special. You all are a great support, great inspiration I'm luck to have.
P.S.: Daniel and Livia will be together for a while! (Shhh! Don't reveal it to anyone! And read carefully the whole sentence because that's exactly which is going to happen!:D And am not lying!:D)