You Are My Future

Even as she sat on the stone steps of the mansion, she knew that they were not hers to keep. The children, once playing havoc, were now far from fledglings. They had grown, they had flown. They would come back to her but only once a year, like the swallow flies south. But, she didn't mind. She kept saying...."You, are my future".

Now, Paulina felt that all of 40 was time enough to ask the woman what she meant. She did not dispute that the woman had painstakingly raised them, never for once claiming their inheritance in return for her services as a nanny. So, while the children danced and shouted and deliberated mayhem, she sat down beside old Bess.

"Bessy", that's what she and Benjamin called her, was not her real self today. She hardly even noticed Paulina by her side. She was staring at the children in solemn play, so pure, so involved. But, the warm hand upon her cold one broke the silence. "Yes, Paula?, need something baby?". That was it. Did it always have to be something to be tended to when Bessy was called out to?

Didn't Benji scream her name in glee, when he beat the living daylights out of Mark, or win a game of 'I Spy'? Of course, he did and so did Paulina, every time she met a new interesting 'gentleman' by Bessy's standards! Oh, God! Bessy was a stickler for that. He had to know to tip his hat and seat the lady before he seated himself. For God's sake, Bessy, this is the 21st Century! Grow up!

But, Bessy never really did. And, now too, she imagined a task off her frail self. "Bessy, why do you keep quacking - You are my future! Please don't hand this down like a family heirloom to the kids... for God's sake!". Bessy smiled. How long back had Paulina seen that one. Quite a while, especially since she and Benjamin now lived miles away and adamant Bessy stayed right back. Was Bessy going to talk finally? Paula would have something to share with Benji this Passover.

Bess turned and faced Paula. "Baby", she said. It was going to be a cherishing moment, Paula could bet on it. With the crimson of the sky dancing the jig on Bessy's silver locks, nothing in the world would take this moment away from Paulina. She soaked in, while Bess revealed a secret.

"I never really had a life of my own. Well, while my Jim was around, things were fine, but he decided to dig daisies rather than share a life with me. After that, all of my 24 years found full expression in dancing around with you kids, literally, and to your every whim and fancy. You became an extension of me. I lived in you, through you. You and Benji were living for me after mom and dad met that cruel fate. And, boy o boy, didn't we have fun!"

"Paula, baby, I found full expression in you especially. Fighting off Mark and Ricard and that joker Twiddle, and I insist that name suits him best, and helping you discover my dear, dear Reese... was quite something, huh? Well, I lived through you. Benji, you and I. We hardly needed anyone else. And then the kids came along. Paula, don't you see...I find more joy out of my time with you and keeping watch on the home till spring each year, than rocking the living daylights out of myself tucked away and pampered by you in Seattle. You were my future then and continue to be so now."

I am happy and content in seeing you each spring and Benji's rackabites every fall. And then there's Christmas and all the fluff and bother that rattles my old bones. All through my youth and the trying years thereafter, you and Benji fulfilled every dream I ever did have. I was crafted to mold and conquer through you!"

Paula felt silly that she didn't see it coming. Bessy had cracked. Not out of a rendezvous with time or fatigue, but out of fulfillment. It didn't really matter if she and Benji didn't come home to the hills anymore. The kids were enough for Bessy to live again!