You and You Only: Chapter 5 - Oh Baby

Picture is of Nia.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I brushed my lips against the soft skin of Cam's forehead. He was a precious little boy and the way his mouth trembled slightly as he snored made him even more so. I hummed a song I didn't know the words too as I kissed his eyelids gently, the right one first and then the left one. He was so beautiful and angelic looking. His little body in my arms felt so...so...so...comforting and my heart filled with joy at his ease with me.

He should've been my baby.

"What?" someone sputtered.

I raised my head and blinked at Nick. His brows had wrinkled into a deep frown and his mouth pulled apart into a pseudo smile....

'What did I say?'

"Yeah, you know WHAT!" I taunted even though I had forgotten what the "WHAT" was.

"Who told you that?"

I stared at him calmly while taking in his breathing which had rapidly accelerated. He wore the mask of surprise on his face, but I knew him all too well to fall for his façade. I took into view his dress too, his beige cargo pants and rumpled graphic tee, he didn't get those wrinkles just from walking around. If I leaned in close I could probably smell the scent of a woman on him and yet he wanted me to keep his baby?? He eyed me as well, his composure slowly shaking and his mouth forming into a thin line as he kept up his bluff.

I shook my head at him and recalled the earlier event as I made my way to the couch and sat down with little Cam still in my arms. He stirred in my arms and a soft mewl drifted from his lips as he drifted back into slumber land.

"It doesn't matter Nick." He made his way to the couch as well and took a seat on my armrest. I waved my left arm at him to get up and almost cried out 'get off before you break it thick ass'.

He did as I motioned and slid down on the couch with me and the baby.

"Its nothing...just messing around. Nothing serious."

He was close to me again and I didn't like it this time. I inched away slightly so that he would not notice it, but he did and when I looked up his eyes met mines. We exchanged a pained expression and I looked away to concentrate on Cam's face again.

He had a baby...a baby.

"I told you it didn't matter."

"So we're doing this again..."

"Doing what Nick?"

"Lying Nia...how long are you going to play this lie game....what is it now...Oh I got it."

I scowled at him and he returned my scowl with a glare...a glare that then transformed into a sadistic smile.

"Let's see are we playing the blame game? Kanye West can sing it better than I can. I don't know what you want me to say."

His tone had changed from light to serious and his voice had begun to raise too. Too loud for the baby to stay awake.

"Shhh!" I hissed.

Those grey eyes became slits and he continued, "Are you going to blame me for something else now?" He whispered.

"I'm...." I paused to control the shaking in my voice, "I'm not doing anything."

"Lies...all of them. You're always blaming me for something...and I blamed you for nothing."

"That's because I didn't do anything!" I exclaimed.

Cam moved again, his little eyes opening for just a few seconds and then closing again. I breathed out in relief and started rocking him again.

"So everything is my fault right?"

I squeezed my eyes shut and pushed at the mental pounding in my ears. Shut up, shut up, shut up!

"Just go...and do whatever you have to do. I'll watch Cam."

"So that's it?"

"What now Nick....what now????"

His changing emotions were throwing me off and I had no way to find my balance without him giving me something to stand on.

"You want my baby, but you don't want me?"

"YES!" I declared.

"YES! Do you want to know why? Because he's not doing anything right now! He's content to lay in my arms and sleep...but you...you are being a complete ASS. Why can't I want him and not you? Is that a crime! Is it written down in Nick's Gotdamn Ten Commandments that everyone has to want NICK? Why can't I want your baby?"

Wetness had begun to form in my eyes, but I blinked away the hot tears that threatened to come. I was so close to saying what I really want to say.

'Why didn't I have your baby instead of her?'

His lips pressed into a thin line and he sunk into the cousins of my couch eying Cameron. His face was distant and perplexing, I had never seen his facial expressions change so much in my life and I didn't want to. What I was feeling at that moment, I was sure he was feeling the same thing, confusion, rejection, loss..... I could feel the tension in the air, unspoken words dancing around our heads, rain ready to fall in heavy droplets all around us.

We had known each other for eight years and four out of those eight years we hadn't see each other at all....so did we really deserve to tell other people that we had known each other?

"You know..." I held my breath at the sound of those two words. I had come to associate them as the introduction of a heavy truth.

"I came here......not because of Cam..." I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. "...but because of you...it was an excuse...and I didn't expect you to know about Alexia..."

"Playboy." I whispered.

Wasn't that what he was trying to be? If he had come for anything related to friendship, it wouldn't have mattered. Maybe he would've told me happily that he had a play thing, and he would've wished that I had the same luck in finding one as well. He wanted me, I could sense it with his heavy breathing and pained drawl.

Me and someone else....at the same time.

"....never that..." He uttered.

"Nick." I squeezed my eyes shut for just a moment and opened them again. I looked around my apartment at something tranquil. There was my wall hangings of Peace,Love and Joy...oh if they could've given me the peace that I desired.

"I don't want to talk......about feelings." I pushed the last two words out of my mouth as if they were too painful to speak.

"I just want to go through life without talking about my feelings all the time. I get so sick of feelings."

I turned my head slightly to look at him leaning against the couch. His eyes were downcast focused on his hands intertwined in his lap.

"Can we...just be friends? If not all the time, can we just be friends for this moment?"

"Are you sure?"

"No." I answered truthfully, "I'm not sure....but what I am sure about is that...I'm too kind and loving and strong to be ignored for a skank like Alexia."

His facial expression didn't change a bit...I was sure it was because he knew that I was right.

"So if you want to have sex with her casually with not strings attached then do that. But don't come to me when you've looked me over for her. I don't play that Nick...never have and I never will."

"You're right."

Cam turned his head and opened his eyes. He blinked rapidly as he stared up at me and moved his hands to play with the chain dangling from my neck.

"Hey fella." I smiled at him and kissed his nose. He wrinkled up his face and laughed, I held his wrist as I watched him ball his fist around my chain. "Hey! Hey, yeah you! Yeah you! Watch it, I can hang myself thanks." I lifted up his shirt and blew a raspberry on his belly.

He pushed at my hands laughing and squealing for me to stop, I did stop but only to lightly grab at his nose and make him squeal louder.

"Cam you ready?" Nick asked.

Cam shook his head no, 'Hey mommy is waiting for you. You wanna see Mommy don't you?"

A smile appeared and Cam nodded his head eagerly, "Mama daddy?"

"Yeah." Nick sat up and leaned in my direction with his arms open, "Let's go see Mommy." I propped Cam up and Nick took him in his arms before standing up.

I stood up along with them and rubbed my hands up along the sides of my thighs nervously. Nick looked at me steadily breathing heavily. I wanted to know what he was thinking but at the same time I didn't....because then there would be more feelings...and I didn't want to think about emotions and those things.

"Bye...Nia."

I nodded at him and waved at Cam. Cam waved back over Nicks shoulder as he walked to the door and walked out closing it behind him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I started working the next week I was aware of all the other K teachers and other teachers as well. I knew what to teach my kids, and overall I was prepared. I was ecstatic to work with the little kids and hopefully they wouldn't give me any issues. All went well my first day and I was grateful for that. At the end of the day their parents showed up and I made sure I had every parents name by the time they were out the door.

When most of the children were gone a familiar figure walked though my classroom door. David...I hid my growing nausea and pasted a smile over my face, he did the same smiling at me in a professional manner.

"David." I nodded at him.

Why was he there? Dressed in a suit...as if...he teacher there.

He walked over to me until we were an arm's length apart and held his hand out for me to shake.

"I heard there was a new kindergartener teacher and I wanted to meet you....and make you feel welcome."

I shook his hand limply, "How nice of you to come."

I turned away from his smiling face and began putting toys and crayons away.

"I teach fourth grade across the hall, if you ever get lonely....or want to talk..."

'Ugh...teacherrrrrrrr'

"I'll keep that in mind" instead of turning around, I gathered the crayon boxes and put them away into their respective shelves.
Thinking that he was gone (because silence had stretched on for a good two minutes) I unpinned my curls and shook them free(the bobby pins had been bothering me all day)

"Ahem." A cough followed and I turned around to see him still standing there, "This gives me the perfect opportunity to apologize for my behavior. Will you forgive me."

I nodded, "I will and I do."

'Now go away'

"Can I get a second chance?"

I smiled in spite of myself, "That's not a good idea. No...Id rather not date someone I work with."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

He pressed his lips into a thin line and walked out just as swiftly as he had come in.

Honestly if he hadn't been such a rampant sex fiend maybe I would've considered it. I had no issues taking a risk for the sake of love....I did have an issue....ok I didn't know the issue but I was sure there was one....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thankfully I didn't see David everywhere I went, I went to the teachers' lounge said my "hi" and "bye" but I was careful not to stay there and talk too much. The kindergartners' required attention at all times and I began to regret being a kindergartener teacher, I would much rather teach kids who could look after themselves. I had taught at a local high school for a year before I moved to town...and it was ok....ok it was kind of terrible.

But they were so sweet, there were one or two trouble makers but overall they were good kids and I appreciated that. So maybe I could get used to them and enjoy teaching them.

Well near the end of August Sharise announced that she was pregnant. I expected it, but she hadn't. She was ecstatic and at the same time worried. Me Sharise and her sisters were sitting on the couch at her house gushing about the news.

"Awwwwww a li'l baby Ricky or Sharise...cuteee."

Everybody spoke about it except for Leia. She looked like she was out of it seriously, and she had gained some weight since the wedding. It wasn't until later that night when I went to use the restroom and heard her puking did I began to speculate....