Words of My song - Chapter Ten
What she decides...poor gal...
"Adam, I need to talk to you." Lasara finally said, pulling away from his soft, urgent kisses. She had really enjoyed them - REALLY enjoyed them, but each embrace made her think of Will. Adam sat up properly and pushed his mussed up fringe from his eyes. Lasara remembered when she would have given anything to do that for him. Times had changed. And she wasn't sure she liked it.
"What's up, baby?" he asked, taking her hand and gently squeezing it. He had such a happy look on his face that Lasara had to look away. It only made it all the harder.
"It's about us..." She had his full attention now, but his look was still mellow, soft and content. He reached up and traced her lips with a slightly rough finger. He knew how to play her. Adam, having spent all his life by her side as best friends, knew every detail about what she liked, what she disliked, her loves and loathes. And now, when they had started going out, they had such a close connection that they sometimes read each others thoughts. And Adam knew where she liked to be kissed, where she liked to be touched. He knew all the right things to say. Lasara had never loved anybody in her whole life as much as she loved Adam. Not even Will. Thinking about it now, she realized that this was true. She only just knew Will and their love was fresh and exciting, but that didn't mean Adam's was old and boring. He was just as surprising as a new guy. Why did she feel so much for them both? It wasn't possible to be in love with two guys at the same time. Or was it?
"Adam and Lasara. Lasara and Adam. Kind of fits doesn't it?" Adam whispered. Lasara had to nod in agreement. Adam's second name was DeVann, which also fitted with her name. Lasara shivered with the thought of marrying Adam. The idea wasn't the most unpleasant one she had. She would love marrying Adam, she knew. But the same happened with Will.
Adam's musky scent was close and intoxicating. It made her want to lie in his arms and never move out of them. She had to get away from the smell of him. It only confused her. Casually, she slid off the bed and walked over to the bay window. The sky outside was darkening, the sun setting. It was a typical setting for a simple romantic story, the indigo color of the usual sky being almost overpowered by the blazing gold's, soft oranges, warm reds and watery pinks. Helplessly, a tear slid down her cheek. She would have to hurt one of them. One of the men that meant more than anything to her.
Adam noticed and walked over to her. He put his arms around her from behind and nuzzled her neck.
"I know what you thinkin' baby. This ain't working out. What with your human life and being apart and all...it's OK. I love you and I'll wait forever. But if there's another guy...now's the time to tell me." He had sensed it. He had read her mind! There was no point lying now.
"Adam..." She turned around in his arms, not breaking contact. "I'm sorry...I..." Adam pulled away from her grasp, leaving her arms feeling cold and empty.
"Girl...you...you knew and you still let me..." A disgusted look crossed his features as she tried to pull him back.
"Adam...it's not my fault...I can't help what I feel." She explained, putting a hand on his arm. He shrugged it off.
"I can live with there being another guy. I love you - you don't love me. Shit happens." He folded his feathery wings around himself defensively. "But I never expected you to use me like that. I just kissed you, hugged you, talked lovingly for two hours and NOW, when I've stopped, NOW you decide to tell me? How many other times has there been another guy in the other world, Lasara? How many times?" he said his words quietly, but the anger in them was evident. This, in a way, hurt more.
Lasara wanted him to shout at her to yell at her, to strike out. She knew how much she had hurt him with her lack of words. She wanted to scream that she DID love him, that her thing with Will was trivial. But that would be a lie. She loved both of them. She wanted Adam to pain her, hurt her back. But he would never do that. He loved her too much.
"Never." She stated in answer to his question. "And I'm really sorry, Adam." Her offered apology was ignored. Adam turned back to her and walked past her. Without a word, he opened her bay windows and launched himself off the stone balcony. His strong, snowy white wings beat steadily as he fly away from her, looking like an angel in the light. And people say a sunset is meant to be romantic, Lasara thought, leaning her head against a post of her bed. She gripped it tightly with both hands till her knuckles were white; then finally let loose the stream of tears that had been threatening to engulf her ever since she set eyes on Adam again. Looking up at the faint moon through her tears, she whispered 'I love you too' before collapsing and letting the pain overwhelm her.
"What's up, baby?" he asked, taking her hand and gently squeezing it. He had such a happy look on his face that Lasara had to look away. It only made it all the harder.
"It's about us..." She had his full attention now, but his look was still mellow, soft and content. He reached up and traced her lips with a slightly rough finger. He knew how to play her. Adam, having spent all his life by her side as best friends, knew every detail about what she liked, what she disliked, her loves and loathes. And now, when they had started going out, they had such a close connection that they sometimes read each others thoughts. And Adam knew where she liked to be kissed, where she liked to be touched. He knew all the right things to say. Lasara had never loved anybody in her whole life as much as she loved Adam. Not even Will. Thinking about it now, she realized that this was true. She only just knew Will and their love was fresh and exciting, but that didn't mean Adam's was old and boring. He was just as surprising as a new guy. Why did she feel so much for them both? It wasn't possible to be in love with two guys at the same time. Or was it?
"Adam and Lasara. Lasara and Adam. Kind of fits doesn't it?" Adam whispered. Lasara had to nod in agreement. Adam's second name was DeVann, which also fitted with her name. Lasara shivered with the thought of marrying Adam. The idea wasn't the most unpleasant one she had. She would love marrying Adam, she knew. But the same happened with Will.
Adam's musky scent was close and intoxicating. It made her want to lie in his arms and never move out of them. She had to get away from the smell of him. It only confused her. Casually, she slid off the bed and walked over to the bay window. The sky outside was darkening, the sun setting. It was a typical setting for a simple romantic story, the indigo color of the usual sky being almost overpowered by the blazing gold's, soft oranges, warm reds and watery pinks. Helplessly, a tear slid down her cheek. She would have to hurt one of them. One of the men that meant more than anything to her.
Adam noticed and walked over to her. He put his arms around her from behind and nuzzled her neck.
"I know what you thinkin' baby. This ain't working out. What with your human life and being apart and all...it's OK. I love you and I'll wait forever. But if there's another guy...now's the time to tell me." He had sensed it. He had read her mind! There was no point lying now.
"Adam..." She turned around in his arms, not breaking contact. "I'm sorry...I..." Adam pulled away from her grasp, leaving her arms feeling cold and empty.
"Girl...you...you knew and you still let me..." A disgusted look crossed his features as she tried to pull him back.
"Adam...it's not my fault...I can't help what I feel." She explained, putting a hand on his arm. He shrugged it off.
"I can live with there being another guy. I love you - you don't love me. Shit happens." He folded his feathery wings around himself defensively. "But I never expected you to use me like that. I just kissed you, hugged you, talked lovingly for two hours and NOW, when I've stopped, NOW you decide to tell me? How many other times has there been another guy in the other world, Lasara? How many times?" he said his words quietly, but the anger in them was evident. This, in a way, hurt more.
Lasara wanted him to shout at her to yell at her, to strike out. She knew how much she had hurt him with her lack of words. She wanted to scream that she DID love him, that her thing with Will was trivial. But that would be a lie. She loved both of them. She wanted Adam to pain her, hurt her back. But he would never do that. He loved her too much.
"Never." She stated in answer to his question. "And I'm really sorry, Adam." Her offered apology was ignored. Adam turned back to her and walked past her. Without a word, he opened her bay windows and launched himself off the stone balcony. His strong, snowy white wings beat steadily as he fly away from her, looking like an angel in the light. And people say a sunset is meant to be romantic, Lasara thought, leaning her head against a post of her bed. She gripped it tightly with both hands till her knuckles were white; then finally let loose the stream of tears that had been threatening to engulf her ever since she set eyes on Adam again. Looking up at the faint moon through her tears, she whispered 'I love you too' before collapsing and letting the pain overwhelm her.
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