Without Love - Chapter 1
Hi All, Thanks to all who have read my previous story. This is a new story which addresses a sensitive area. I just hope you guys like it. There are things happening like this and I hope you people don't find it uncomfortable. Please read and comment.
Angel's P.O.V.
The dirty looking huge man started pulling my tiny red skirt to reveal the little flesh of mine hidden behind it and I could see lust in his eyes. He stuck his tongue out, his eyes grew big and he started licking the inner of my thighs. Soon enough he undressed himself and came over me. His body weight hurts. He started to lick my face and kiss my lips, no smoothness, nothing in that kiss. He was almost eating me out, causing me pain, wherever his teeth bit my skin. I could feel his greediness all over my body, it was as if knives were getting stabbed in each and every part of me wherever his body touched mine. He licked from my face to my stomach and stopped there. Then he looked up and smiled at me to which I hardly responded.
I tried to look at his left hand which was working to pull my inner down so as to show my organs. Without giving it a second thought he pulled my underwear down and I was exposed to him. He was already naked and so he entered into me. I used all my energy to stay still and let the pain go over me. I tried my best not to cry, which I know I will end up doing at the end of this session. This man is now riding me with all the force he has and I am no way getting happy for this. This has happened to me several times, to be exact, till now 37 times and I have started to believe that It's NO FUN having sex. The man continued to do what he has been doing for last 15 minutes. I am feeling irritated and exhausted and at last to my little relax, it came to an end. The man fell hard on me, again causing me more pain and I was too tired to shift him down or I say throw him out of my body. But after breathing heavily for 2 to 3 minutes I gathered enough energy to push him to my side on the bed, where he lied half conscious or half sleep, whatever it is.
I climbed down the bed; pain was there in each and every cell of my body. I collected the shattered clothes, put on my inners and threw the rest of the clothes to one cell of the cupboard in the dark, well almost dark room. I took out a long skirt, a gray baggy t-shirt, a new pair of underwear and went to take a shower. I allowed the water to flow down my skin, I wish it could clean me off, or clean my heart and mind, but it never does. Yes, it helps me relax a bit. I stood naked under the water and it cleaned my skin only. I put on the warm clothes and headed out to the market with my small purse, leaving the man on the bed.
It is habituated now; when you are out in the daylight you get at least a dozen eyes on you every moment, mostly men, few women too. Some give nasty smile, some just stare at private parts, some look straight into the eyes and do not say anything. At first it was all so hard to tolerate, I have tried to commit suicide even, may be 3 or 4 times. But now it's all just normal for me. I can see in the eyes of people, some want to have me as cheap as possible, some want to play with me, some rape me with their eyes only, some think how cheap, some feel sad, I specifically hate those sad eyes. And the women, who stare at me, are as if silently cursing me or scolding me. I have seen a very less women with sad eyes. I know they can't do anything for me, or they are not brave enough I would say, even they do not want to help me and I have literally lost all hope.
Shaking me through my thoughts my phone vibrated in my purse. I took out and not even bothering to see who it was, because I know who it was.
"Tell me, Joe" I said without any decency, I was not rude either.
"You can collect your money from here; you have 130 Euros to collect."
"Fine, I will come to you in the evening." With that I hung up the phone and tilted my head again to find out dozen eyes on me, some fresh eyes and some of the old eyes have disappeared.
I was not bothered to look at them and started walking. Almost everyone seems to know me in this street of Zadar. Different people live here, even very rich people and poor at their hearts. And I have visited every kind of people there at my place. But all have their own problems. Some just come here after fighting with their wives or being dumped by their girlfriends. Some just come out of frustration. Even if not interested I just have to listen carefully to each of the person I meet. I might not remember what they talked, the very moment they leave my bed, but as I have been instructed, I can't be rude to them. But I can't be nice to everyone. I understand I have the lost the "ME" somewhere in these streets, but when out of these streets, I find myself.
Oh, I think I have not given you my introduction. I know by now, you must have guessed it somehow. At least you must have a thin idea of my job. Yes, I am a prostitute, though I don't admit to this, but people have already accepted me like this. I know people lift their nose, when they know about girls like me. But girls just do not become prostitute by their will, at least not me. How I became a prostitute that is a different story altogether. But why I am still here, is because of my helplessness. I think I am neither strong enough to fight nor sharp enough to escape.
Well, here is this building. Nah, this street is not known as Red Light Street or something. It's just a normal street having this gray building at the end of the street. It somehow looks like an old man's old house. Outside that building, it's a good place out here, except the only time when people like me come out to the street. Well, I don't know whether I only found out this street to be unhealthy, or all the girls out there in that building find it the same way.
I don't come out with anybody else. Yes, I don't have to be scared of somebody kidnapping me or raping me, because I have lost all those fears for my life. It's just that I am living, earning money, enough money for me, satisfying people. I don't have any feeling for myself, only except the time when I am at my secret place; well I can't call it a secret, because the owner of the building knows about it. I have tried this as my hiding place, and they have managed to catch me from this place and again led me back to the building.
They say "I am their master piece; they can't afford to lose me."
Well I have forgotten to look at my body from my point of view, now when I look at my body to care for my body, it's only because I have been asked to do that strictly.
One day, Maggie, the lady who assigns people to each girl, called me aside and said "You know baby, you are too precious to me. Don't you try to hurt yourself? Keep your body the same as it was when we brought you here. People can't see scratches on you amazing body." I had been just brought back from hospital, because I tried to cut my nerve for the 2nd time. I did not tell them anything that time, just thought that they are playing me as they want, they don't want me to live my life on my own and they don't want me to die.
"You should be aware that all girls are jealous of you, you are tremendously beautiful. We have never got better response from people before you came here. It's only 3 months you are here and you have already cut your nerves twice and tried to escape twice. Let me tell you, we are not letting you go. You are bringing us too much money, so accept this that you have to stay here until we want you to let go. See for your good, we don't allow more than 3 people for you in a week, because it will let your body ruin, which we never want. Well it would not ruin your body, if you cooperate with the sleeping men. But as you are not enjoying what you are doing and we can't let our master piece go, so we have agreed on allowing maximum 3 a week, but you too should have something for us. So don't ever try this again." I remembered these words, still fresh in my mind.
Now it is already six months, and in the rest 3 months I have to hang myself again, but they won't let it happen. Even I tried to escape again, but that also not possible. I always thought this water of the sea will make the best escape for me, but it never did. I have always been trapped and dragged back here, provided I am not a good swimmer.
Suddenly my phone rang again; I have almost crossed the street and about to go to my secret place. I kind of was expecting this call; I have been getting this call from the last time I tried to escape. To be exact it is 32 days back from today. Nobody generally calls me once I am out of this street. These people know that I need this time for myself. And this will refresh me; they will do anything to keep me fresh and beautiful. I hesitantly picked up the phone "Yes Maggie." I told without any expression or emotion.
"Angel dear, you are not trying to escape or hurt yourself. Right? Or else I have to send Randy before you. You know -"
I cut her in middle and said "I know, don't worry about this. And please do not disturb me until it is very necessary"
"Ah, I know dear, see I am sure you are not out of this street already. Well carry on, See you soon."
"Bye" I hung up the phone. Why do I have to see her soon? I do not want to see any of them. But it's my fate; I have accepted it now, or well kind of.
And what a name I have got. ANGEL. I wish I could have got a bad name, the more I love my name, the more I hate myself for being the holder of this name. My fate just does not suit this name.
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Please let me know your views. It will help me further to continue the story.
The dirty looking huge man started pulling my tiny red skirt to reveal the little flesh of mine hidden behind it and I could see lust in his eyes. He stuck his tongue out, his eyes grew big and he started licking the inner of my thighs. Soon enough he undressed himself and came over me. His body weight hurts. He started to lick my face and kiss my lips, no smoothness, nothing in that kiss. He was almost eating me out, causing me pain, wherever his teeth bit my skin. I could feel his greediness all over my body, it was as if knives were getting stabbed in each and every part of me wherever his body touched mine. He licked from my face to my stomach and stopped there. Then he looked up and smiled at me to which I hardly responded.
I tried to look at his left hand which was working to pull my inner down so as to show my organs. Without giving it a second thought he pulled my underwear down and I was exposed to him. He was already naked and so he entered into me. I used all my energy to stay still and let the pain go over me. I tried my best not to cry, which I know I will end up doing at the end of this session. This man is now riding me with all the force he has and I am no way getting happy for this. This has happened to me several times, to be exact, till now 37 times and I have started to believe that It's NO FUN having sex. The man continued to do what he has been doing for last 15 minutes. I am feeling irritated and exhausted and at last to my little relax, it came to an end. The man fell hard on me, again causing me more pain and I was too tired to shift him down or I say throw him out of my body. But after breathing heavily for 2 to 3 minutes I gathered enough energy to push him to my side on the bed, where he lied half conscious or half sleep, whatever it is.
I climbed down the bed; pain was there in each and every cell of my body. I collected the shattered clothes, put on my inners and threw the rest of the clothes to one cell of the cupboard in the dark, well almost dark room. I took out a long skirt, a gray baggy t-shirt, a new pair of underwear and went to take a shower. I allowed the water to flow down my skin, I wish it could clean me off, or clean my heart and mind, but it never does. Yes, it helps me relax a bit. I stood naked under the water and it cleaned my skin only. I put on the warm clothes and headed out to the market with my small purse, leaving the man on the bed.
It is habituated now; when you are out in the daylight you get at least a dozen eyes on you every moment, mostly men, few women too. Some give nasty smile, some just stare at private parts, some look straight into the eyes and do not say anything. At first it was all so hard to tolerate, I have tried to commit suicide even, may be 3 or 4 times. But now it's all just normal for me. I can see in the eyes of people, some want to have me as cheap as possible, some want to play with me, some rape me with their eyes only, some think how cheap, some feel sad, I specifically hate those sad eyes. And the women, who stare at me, are as if silently cursing me or scolding me. I have seen a very less women with sad eyes. I know they can't do anything for me, or they are not brave enough I would say, even they do not want to help me and I have literally lost all hope.
Shaking me through my thoughts my phone vibrated in my purse. I took out and not even bothering to see who it was, because I know who it was.
"Tell me, Joe" I said without any decency, I was not rude either.
"You can collect your money from here; you have 130 Euros to collect."
"Fine, I will come to you in the evening." With that I hung up the phone and tilted my head again to find out dozen eyes on me, some fresh eyes and some of the old eyes have disappeared.
I was not bothered to look at them and started walking. Almost everyone seems to know me in this street of Zadar. Different people live here, even very rich people and poor at their hearts. And I have visited every kind of people there at my place. But all have their own problems. Some just come here after fighting with their wives or being dumped by their girlfriends. Some just come out of frustration. Even if not interested I just have to listen carefully to each of the person I meet. I might not remember what they talked, the very moment they leave my bed, but as I have been instructed, I can't be rude to them. But I can't be nice to everyone. I understand I have the lost the "ME" somewhere in these streets, but when out of these streets, I find myself.
Oh, I think I have not given you my introduction. I know by now, you must have guessed it somehow. At least you must have a thin idea of my job. Yes, I am a prostitute, though I don't admit to this, but people have already accepted me like this. I know people lift their nose, when they know about girls like me. But girls just do not become prostitute by their will, at least not me. How I became a prostitute that is a different story altogether. But why I am still here, is because of my helplessness. I think I am neither strong enough to fight nor sharp enough to escape.
Well, here is this building. Nah, this street is not known as Red Light Street or something. It's just a normal street having this gray building at the end of the street. It somehow looks like an old man's old house. Outside that building, it's a good place out here, except the only time when people like me come out to the street. Well, I don't know whether I only found out this street to be unhealthy, or all the girls out there in that building find it the same way.
I don't come out with anybody else. Yes, I don't have to be scared of somebody kidnapping me or raping me, because I have lost all those fears for my life. It's just that I am living, earning money, enough money for me, satisfying people. I don't have any feeling for myself, only except the time when I am at my secret place; well I can't call it a secret, because the owner of the building knows about it. I have tried this as my hiding place, and they have managed to catch me from this place and again led me back to the building.
They say "I am their master piece; they can't afford to lose me."
Well I have forgotten to look at my body from my point of view, now when I look at my body to care for my body, it's only because I have been asked to do that strictly.
One day, Maggie, the lady who assigns people to each girl, called me aside and said "You know baby, you are too precious to me. Don't you try to hurt yourself? Keep your body the same as it was when we brought you here. People can't see scratches on you amazing body." I had been just brought back from hospital, because I tried to cut my nerve for the 2nd time. I did not tell them anything that time, just thought that they are playing me as they want, they don't want me to live my life on my own and they don't want me to die.
"You should be aware that all girls are jealous of you, you are tremendously beautiful. We have never got better response from people before you came here. It's only 3 months you are here and you have already cut your nerves twice and tried to escape twice. Let me tell you, we are not letting you go. You are bringing us too much money, so accept this that you have to stay here until we want you to let go. See for your good, we don't allow more than 3 people for you in a week, because it will let your body ruin, which we never want. Well it would not ruin your body, if you cooperate with the sleeping men. But as you are not enjoying what you are doing and we can't let our master piece go, so we have agreed on allowing maximum 3 a week, but you too should have something for us. So don't ever try this again." I remembered these words, still fresh in my mind.
Now it is already six months, and in the rest 3 months I have to hang myself again, but they won't let it happen. Even I tried to escape again, but that also not possible. I always thought this water of the sea will make the best escape for me, but it never did. I have always been trapped and dragged back here, provided I am not a good swimmer.
Suddenly my phone rang again; I have almost crossed the street and about to go to my secret place. I kind of was expecting this call; I have been getting this call from the last time I tried to escape. To be exact it is 32 days back from today. Nobody generally calls me once I am out of this street. These people know that I need this time for myself. And this will refresh me; they will do anything to keep me fresh and beautiful. I hesitantly picked up the phone "Yes Maggie." I told without any expression or emotion.
"Angel dear, you are not trying to escape or hurt yourself. Right? Or else I have to send Randy before you. You know -"
I cut her in middle and said "I know, don't worry about this. And please do not disturb me until it is very necessary"
"Ah, I know dear, see I am sure you are not out of this street already. Well carry on, See you soon."
"Bye" I hung up the phone. Why do I have to see her soon? I do not want to see any of them. But it's my fate; I have accepted it now, or well kind of.
And what a name I have got. ANGEL. I wish I could have got a bad name, the more I love my name, the more I hate myself for being the holder of this name. My fate just does not suit this name.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Please let me know your views. It will help me further to continue the story.
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