Wisdom of a Fool

Sometimes we allow situations and other people define who we are, that's a dangerous turf to sail. There are times when we let situations, people and circumstances get the better of ourselves. We are human and it's very much natural that we feel and let that control us. What I want to point out here is; whenever we are in one of those situations, it's always better to take a step back and evaluate if it's really worth it. Happy are those people who know the difference as to when a situation can be helped and do everything in their power to make it happen or realize it's something which has no solution and accept the same and retreat. It is however difficult when you are in pain either physical or emotional because feelings or pain cannot be rationalized and it's not as easy as writing about it, doesn't mean it's impossible. Sometimes being happy is having a lot of wisdom and choosing to be ignorant about it, because if you can't help the situation, there is no point in making yourself miserable thinking or worrying about it that only makes it worse. The best you can do is to retrieve yourself from that situation altogether.

It's really easy to blame other people when things do not go your way or the way you wanted it to. Then you spend half of your life blaming and resenting the same people who inspired a sense of happiness to you at one point of time. But what you fail to realize is that person is not responsible for your happiness *you are* the moment you realize that life becomes lot easier. Usually we tend to blame other people as if nothing that happens or happened in our lives, we had no say in it we had no choice.

It's foolish to think that everything that happens or happened we had no contribution towards those event of our lives. We always have a choice, we had or have our part in it. It's just that it's easy to blame someone else than to take responsibility of your own contribution as well, which may feel good at that point but is toxic in the long run. Because you will always need someone else to make you feel happy or at least to blame for your unhappiness. Pining and feeling hurt being sad is human; we can't help it, everyone feels it at some point of time or other. What is foolishness is to think that's all life is all about and to feel it's never gonna end and you are never gonna be happy again. Thoughts are something which is steady and you can rationalize and apply and if you like it, you can make it permanent. Feelings are not, they can't be... they are like waves they come and go sometimes, weak others stronger depending on lot of things you can't control it. What you can control is how much control you choose to give them.

Until you don't find happiness in your own self, love yourself or accept who you are; you never really can find happiness in others or love others unconditionally or accept them for who they are! Life becomes messy, you become insecure, poison your relationship with others because of that. What I have realized is that jealousy and insecurity mainly comes from your own self, no matter how beautiful and perfect you are if you don't love yourself and think you are worth it. You will never really believe someone else thinks that way about you so you hold on to the fear that you are going to lose the person because *you* think you are not good enough. Low self-esteem and fear is what drives you to misery and makes you do things that might sometimes go beyond being psycho. Harsh but true. So whenever you start feeling or thinking that way HOLD and take a step back rethink! Give yourself a good jolt. Spend time with yourself once in a while, learn to see beauty in yourself *you are only as beautiful and perfect as you believe you are*.

Personally, I believe in the good relationship at home or with others is what keeps a person grounded and happy when you are happy at home, you can deal with anything outside. But your good relationship should start from *you* if you are in good terms with you and love yourself, you can be better outside. Now please don't misunderstand that loving yourself equals to being downright selfish to others, wanting to run other people's lives or make them act the way you want to. Loving yourself means trusting in your judgment and in your worth accepting who you are and not beating yourself to the ground with *I am not good enough*, respecting yourself and knowing your limitations, owning your mistakes and learning from them and moving on, taking joy in living your own lives, not discarding your own feelings for someone else's ego, knowing what works for you what doesn't, and taking responsibility of your own happiness and life. Accepting disappointments and rejections gracefully knowing that just like some like Prada and some prefer Louise Vuitton doesn't mean one of them is better than the other. Life is funny that way, happens to all of us, what we want we don't get, what we get we are generally not satisfied with and what we hate generally repeats' now. Happiness is acknowledging the above lines and making peace with the same.

Life is beautiful once you learn to shift your perspective a little. Differentiate between want and need, adjust with what life throws at you. Complaining and whining at what is wrong with an almost perfect picture stops you from seeing the beauty of the picture. No one has perfect life no one is without fear and problems even the wealthiest, most beautiful people are not happy. I am not professing that being mediocre is happiness but having the wisdom of knowing what you can change, what you can control and what you can't. Having fear is human, letting fear rule who you are is not, don't ever go down without trying, without giving it your best, without taking chances. Happiness is knowing that you did what you could that you knew how to and you did it to the best of your capability and not living with *what if's* but at the same time not procrastinating because result was not what you wanted it to be and beat yourself to the dumps, plus marking yourself down with *I am not good enough* and living in *why's*.

Being a good person is important but what equally or more important is being a good person at your own heart. No one is loved by all or hated by all. Everyone has their good's and bad's; even God gets bad name, sometimes we are mortal. Sometimes doing the right thing by you gets you bad name because of the very fact that people who are judging you or giving you bad name's for being who you are. They too are human and what you consider to be the right thing may not be the same by their book of life, may be your decision comes in between what they feel and what they want accept that. Don't start judging them back, understand where they are coming from and walk away with pride. Standing up for your own self doesn't mean creating drama and unnecessary heartache and headache just piss on it and move on. We humans are social animals. It's not easy or possible to get along with everyone without being a doormat, the point is who draws the line of your life you or someone else? Fight for what you believe in but before doing that ask yourself what you are believing in is right or wrong? If it's really worth the pain.

Respect other people's feelings but understand respecting doesn't always mean that you have to reciprocate their feelings even though you don't feel the same just because you don't want to hurt them; if you tend to do that you will be hurting them on a deeper level in the long run. Maturity is not avoiding such situations but to know how best you can deal with them without making yourself uncomfortable and not disrespecting the opposite person at the same time. Having enough honesty of acknowledging the fact, it takes lot of courage for anyone to put themselves out there to be vulnerable appreciate that. Knowing how to say *No* is important, you can't always be a *yes* person to everyone. Knowing when and how to say *No* once you realize it is what makes a difference now your *No* might not be well received by all, but sky doesn't fall down either and you will be at peace because being a doormat is easy sometimes. You become one without even realizing it but once realization dawns do something about it, take charge of your own life. Being yourself and standing up for yourself without creating drama in your life is what makes you happy. Now standing up doesn't mean that you have to behave or respond crazily like three year old, throwing tantrum but to recognize the difference of handling the situation with your head high instead of acting stupid and crazy.

Go on live life, smile, cry when you have to, and take joy in small things of life. Feel fully when it comes to you naturally without having to force yourself and take gratitude in the same. Try not to hurt others but don't hurt and bend yourself to your rear end trying. Welcome and learn see positive things happening around you, appreciate it than to focus on negatives. Love yourselves, fall in love. Be disappointed may be hurt too but don't let that come between you and life that is yours to live. Learn take pride in who you are because you are beautiful, no one can be like you and no one can live your life better than you do.