Will It Ever Matter?

I try my hardest and I do my best.
I constantly try again and again
to do what is right, to help others out
and keep a clean conscience without sin.

Though sometimes I wonder
whether these attempts
to be the best I can be
will make me content.

Whether the tries I make
to find if someone will love me;
if all the pain I take
and absorb inside me,

will it ever change me
and my soul for the better?
Can all this work make me
happy and people will then say I mattered?

Will all of this ever
make it so that when I die
that people will remember me
and when they think of me they'll sigh

Because I tried my hardest, did my best
and was a moral man?
In a hundred years from now
will anyone even give a damn?

I tend to ponder
the purpose of life
and I can't seem
to get doubt out of my mind,

For if there is no afterlife
only our memories will live on.
Just think about the billions
of men we've just forgotten;

It’s as if they had never existed,
never walked the plains of this land
and now I'm haunted with the thought
that I'll leave nothing behind but sand.

Now every time I do something good.
whenever my spirit becomes happier
I always seem to be brought back down
with the question of 'Will it ever really matter?'